Atta J. Turk's (increasingly) Trusty NFL Picks

Well, I'm on a hot streak now, another 5 and 1 week (stupid Lions not beating the stupid Rams, even when Ram players try their best to lose...when you "out lose" a team trying to lose, that's when you really suck...I just hope Lion fans are aware of this, it's not like there's any evidence of the Lions sucking...outside of winning 2 of their last 31 games). A little over 50 years ago, Lions quarterback Bobby Layne was getting drunk at halftime and still winning three championships. Maybe that should tell you something about the affect of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes on Detroit?

Anyhoo, the yearly total is now 30 and 18. Which is not bad (but not awesome either) when you are just picking straight up. But on the other hand, I'm now doing better than say Terry Bradshaw or 9 out of 10 barnyard chickens (and ultimately when you think about it, 10 out of 10 as I get to keep my giblets).

Dolphins at Patriots: I've reviewed the game tape on this (ed. no he hasn't) and the historical record (ed. no he hasn't) and I can say with confidence that the Patriots appear to be a fairly good team [don't let the last decade fool you]. The Dolphins are the NFL's hard luck team. Week after week they pretty much outplay the other team, yet still lose more than they win. They're playing the Patriots in New England -- that doesn't seem like a likely area for them to win. They won't, the Patriots will.

Packers at Buccaneers: This season has seen the AFL legacy collection be used as it's the 50th Anniversary of that most successful upstart league of all-times founding. Some are pretty awesome (Chargers, Patriots, Titans/Oilers, Chiefs/Texans) and some are the Broncos. However, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are not one of those franchises. This is the 34th Anniversary of the start of the Buccaneers -- and WHAT an initial impression they made in losing their first 26. Eventually, after 20 years of futility in their old cream-sickle uniforms, the Bucs changed their uniforms (and hired a great coach, that probably helped) and started winning. Until now, of course, now they are the last winless team, so naturally they go back to the old unis today.

How do you think that's going to work out? Bucs lose big to Pack.

Detroit at Seattle: Oh christ, who cares? I do, because it's one I'm likely to be right about. The Lions used to be a great team. Those who remember that, are almost all dead now. Some for quite some time. The Seahawks are not good, the Lions are even worse. Seahawks win.

Texans at Colts: One of the weekends big games. The Texans are getting to be less and less an expansion team. The Colts, however, are undefeated. It's always difficult to measure which QB gets their knob slobbered more at any single moment. There's no doubt that Favre has the record on longevity -- sort of the Ron Jeremy of the NFL. But Manning and Tom Brady have to be close. Brady is married to a supermodel so I think that's quite enough for him, but before it's over Manning who has but a single Super Bowl like Fav-rah will approach and surpass peak slobbering. And the legacy gets enriched today. Though I would like the Texans to win (something I don't say in everyday conversation) the Colts will win at home, despite a whole rash of injuries. Including the perpetually injured Bob Sanders. Take the Colts.

Panthers at Saints: The NFL's other undefeated team, a team with a proclivity for intercepting the ball [Darren Sharper, the Vikings miss you] meet Jake Delhome, the NFL's most accommodating thrower of interceptions. Somehow last week, Delhome was "out-intercepted" by Kurt Warner who seems to have one truly awful game a season (so does Favre though so let's see which one that will be later during the year). This is one of those "counter-intuitive" games that you're tempted to go against logic. That would be a mistake. They don't let Delhome throw much, they'll try to run all the time in this game -- and fall further and further behind until the unleash Jake to throw a billion picks. The Saints will win big.


Cardinals at Bears: Can anyone figure these two teams out? I keep hearing how talented they both are, especially the Bears, and how awesome Jay Cutler is. But I have yet to see it. I wouldn't trust the Bears to have 11 guys on the field. Maybe this will change later in the year after their inconsistency eliminates them from the playoffs altogether. I was one of many who thought the Bears made a great trade for Cutler and the Broncos would suck because of it. Instead the Broncos are 6 and 1 under Kyle Orton and the Bears are 4 and 3, about the same as they would have been with Kyle Orton. Meanwhile the Bears won't have a good draft choice next year either. Every pundit in the league went crazy over how awesome this decision was. So far, not so very good. Cutler sure seems "purty" to watch play, but he hasn't really accomplished anything. I sure have spent time dissing the Bears. That being said, I am having a hard time not picking them. But having spent all those words doing so, I guess I better pick the Cardinals, in a game that would have had some sort of bragging rights 50 years ago.