Monday, November 30, 2009

"Cyber Monday"

Stipulating that this is a standard-issue marketing campaign concocted by retailers in yet another attempt to part you from your money, isn't the term "Cyber" anything about ten years out of date at this point?

Didn't we move on from "Cyber-[insert noun/verb here]" to "e-[insert noun/verb here]" circa 1998?


A few thoughts from Mike Huckabee

People of America, I really think you need to pay attention to more important stories:

Hey, that Tiger Woods guy, we really must pay more attention to him.

And that Brangelina, I know it's sinful, but I really want to hear about the wild sex between a liberal, laid back stoner, and a crazy mean right-wing hottie with an adoption fetish. MUST HEAR MORE!

And those White House Gate-Crashers, surely we should all find out more about this -- plus they have a muslimy name and stuff. They must have gotten in because they have Obama's real gift certificate, huh, huh?!! Look into it.

Is David Letterman still bonkin' his Bill Clinton, praise Jesus, let us wonder incessently about this.

And hey, how about that Grey Cup game? That was pretty awesome -- it should really be a national obsession. Do you think we could get Brett Favre and Tim Tebow to play up there?

...say, what if I told you, Brett Favre and Tim Tebow shared a forbidden and very sinful soul kiss early on the morning of November 27th in a residential area of Windermere, Florida?

And all of these things also involved a hooker from A.C.O.R.N.!

Thanks for your time,

Yours in Christ and Beck
Mike Huckabee,

Howard the Putz Kurtz, truly watchin' the media

The two biggest stories of the year to this asshole are David Letterman and Tiger Woods.

Behold the Washington Post's news-media critic.

Matlock, Jr.

David Broder may be off this week (literally rather than figuratively) but that doesn't mean the Village doesn't have more than enough suitable replacements.

I give you former WaPo retread and Politico hack John F. Harris, desperate for some of Chuck Todd's goateed affections.

See John F. Harris suck McCain's teat.

See John F. Harris laugh about outing a CIA operative.

See John F. Harris say "Matt Drudge Rules his world".

See John F. Harris listen to conservatives complain about Froomkin and act in their interest, while having no issues with liberal complaints over Krauthammer, Samuelson, Robert Kagan, Fred Hiatt, ah, hell most all of the WaPo editorial page.

See John F. Harris treat Dick Cheney like a goddamned American war hero.

Well that figures

Only Robert Samuelson could out mustache, the mustache of understanding.

And how completely expected that the man would dry-hump the Federal Reserve of all things as purer than the Virgin Mary, more selfless than Jesus, more persecuted than Dreyfus, and sweeter than Tom Hanks wrapped in cotton-candy.

I guess Jesus made him do it

That slaying of four police officers has, as its main suspect...

Maurice Clemmons, 37, a man with a lifetime history of violence, burglary, aggravated robbery, theft and rape. Clemmons was serving what was essentially a life sentence in Arkansas before having his sentence commuted by then-Gov. Mike Huckabee.

During his failed 2008 Presidential run, which managed to get Huckabee both a FoxNews show and 80 pounds worth of chicken dinners you will recall Wayne Dumond, a Huckabee parolee with a particularly controversial relationship to Huckabee's cronies who committed violence after he was paroled.

Although, I suppose

If it wasn't obsessed with stories about golfers and their 'putters' we'd be treated to more media obsessions with stupid email stories that disprove global warming (which actually don't) and failed Asian trips (that were actually great successes).

So bring on the penis stories.


Four police officers were killed in cold-blood in Oregon yesterday.

Obama announces his Afghanistan policy on Tuesday.

Health care is debated in the Senate.

But all the media will be consumed about is a car accident -- and a minor one at that -- involving the world's greatest golfer. And the possibility of other private matters.

I truly hate the media, and what they think of us.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

No He's Not

This Time article about what it calls The Decade from Hell has the requisite "A Pox on Both Their Houses" bits, but some other parts of it made me laugh:
There is nothing natural about the economic meltdown we are still struggling with as the decade winds down. A housing bubble fueled by cheap money and excessive borrowing set ablaze by derivatives, so-called financial weapons of mass destruction, put the economy on the brink of collapse. We will be sorting through the damage for years. Meanwhile, the living, breathing symbol of this economic sordidness, prisoner No. 61727-054, a.k.a. Bernie Madoff, rots away in a Butner, N.C., jail cell, doing 150 years for orchestrating the biggest Ponzi scheme in the history of humanity.
Actually, the "living, breathing symbol of this economic sordidness" is alive and well and free and living with his newsreader wife, Andrea Mitchell, in Washington D.C.

Obama's Health Care Reform Choices

A single-payer health system would be a quite radical innovation for the United States and a campaign for it faces opposition from one of the strongest and most politically active area of the American economy, the insurance industry.

Change is Never Easy, It is Contested 

I cannot think of a single change of that nature in the history of the United States that occurred during what we might call: "normal" times. If we study when important changes are made in politics and the economy, they occur during periods of social upheaval.  The real gains from 1960-75 resulted from massive public disruption.  The important question is whether we face such challenges now.

Nixon was seriously frightened by the November Moratorium of 1969, and by a small demonstration which met him in a place he thought safe, Ohio State University. The result was a double-edged strategy. The first half of the strategy was in such legislation as OSHA and the Disability Act, along with attempt at price controls, and the opening up of relations with China. The second half was a heavy campaign of repression on liberals and progressives. The murder of Panther leaders, surveillance of student protest and social movements, and the initiation of the "War on Drugs" and "War on Crime." Somewhat contradictory strategies to be sure.

Unintended Consequences 

The goal of both of these "wars" was not to control crime or drugs but rather their side-effects: buildup of a huge law enforcement machinery that resulted from the "tough on crime" approach, the criminalization of a large proportion of poor and working class and minority populations, the creation of a constant state of fear among large sectors of the population, the building of a huge penal system, and more.  This was the machinery that prepared the way for Clinton's Effective Death Penalty and Anti-Terrorism legislation and for the cluster of legislation collectively known as the U.S. A. Patriot Act.  Fear of crime -- in all but the white collar form -- keeps the populace controllable and not asking challenging questions, like why in such a wealthy country they do not fair and humane access to health care.

The '60s as a whole, including the riots, the so-called 'hippies,' the
growth of racist organizations and the rhetoric of revolution, the huge and unruly demonstrations around the country and in Washington, the changes in culture as exemplified in music, fashion, and even in hair styles.  All of this and more general social disruption were behind both the "progressive" legislation passed under Johnson and Nixon and also the growth of repressive state. We must be careful how much we depend on the character of individuals.

Be Careful What We Wish For

Many things are possible. I frankly do not expect single-payer health system or any other project of such radical nature to come about without social disruption on a  number of fronts comparable to the 1930s or the 1960s. Politicians do not simply make change, they hold the status quo for as long as possible; politicians and the media call something a change, even when it is not.

Obama's plan, if it passes and does not adequately cover those who need health care or dismantles health care insurance for those who have it, may be so utterly horrible that it will turn large sectors of the public against government "meddling" in
medicine, and may even endanger Medicare. It might even damage the health insurance offered by a few companies and many universities, being an excuse to say "the feds are doing it, so we don't have to."

A single-payer health system would be a quite radical innovation for the United States and we must guard against unintended consequences such as the growth in the insurance industry or a broken or poorly managed system which defeats the purpose of real health care reform in the first place.  We must hold politicians accountable for what they do and prepare for any -- intentional or unintentional -- consequences.

It's almost as if the plan was not victory, but perpetual war

...he stated naively. Meanwhile, David Broder, Chuck Todd, and David Gregory will never emerge to state otherwise:

Osama bin Laden was unquestionably within reach of U.S. troops in the mountains of Tora Bora when American military leaders made the crucial and costly decision not to pursue the terrorist leader with massive force, a Senate report says.

The report asserts that the failure to kill or capture bin Laden at his most vulnerable in December 2001 has had lasting consequences beyond the fate of one man. Bin Laden's escape laid the foundation for today's reinvigorated Afghan insurgency and inflamed the internal strife now endangering Pakistan, it says...

The report states categorically that bin Laden was hiding in Tora Bora when the U.S. had the means to mount a rapid assault with several thousand troops at least. It says that a review of existing literature, unclassified government records and interviews with central participants "removes any lingering doubts and makes it clear that Osama bin Laden was within our grasp at Tora Bora."

On or about Dec. 16, 2001, bin Laden and bodyguards "walked unmolested out of Tora Bora and disappeared into Pakistan's unregulated tribal area," where he is still believed to be based, the report says.

Instead of a massive attack, fewer than 100 U.S. commandos, working with Afghan militias, tried to capitalize on air strikes and track down their prey.

"The vast array of American military power, from sniper teams to the most mobile divisions of the Marine Corps and the Army, was kept on the sidelines," the report said.

But if we'd captured Bin Laden, Bush and Cheney may have lacked the ability to scare and cajole enought cowards in the Senate and House to allow them to have their splendidly bankrupting war in Iraq...we might have been able to leave Afghanistan. He'd have to run on his record in 2004 instead of sharing the shit out of us, and in 2009 Republicans would not have been able to make bullshit arguments like this...

Sen. Richard Lugar (R-IN) suggested on CNN's State of the Union this morning that the Senate's health care debate -- set to begin tomorrow -- ought to be delayed until next year so the Senate can focus on the war in Afghanistan and the U.S. economy.

And Lugar is one of the relatively sane Republicans.


There's no Broder column today.

It's like the guy's retired or something. Although there could be a Matlock marathon on Northern Virginian television today.

It makes me sad:

Atta J. Turk's Trust NFL Picks

I stumbled last week with a 3 and 3 week, making me 42 and 24 mark for the season. Oh well. The real tragedy is that 3 games I would have definitely used to "fluff up" my picks were played on Thursday, so the pickings are slimmer this weekend.

Yeah, I can hear you all yawning.

Buccaneers at Falcons
: I hate to keep obsessing on this, but it has dawned on me that Matt Ryan of Atlanta is trying his best to develop Peyton Manning head. This is disturbing in the extreme. Not even Eli wants that. If Ryan starts showing up in Sony commercials we've got a problem America. I suppose it could be worse, he could be developing Strahan-teeth and hanging out with Jared from Subway. In any case, the Falcons are a better team, boy that's dull, but that's th case. Take the Falcons.

Redskins at Eagles: Oh, it's a division rivalry, you never know what will happen! Um, yeah. Yeah, you do. The Redskins will be abysmal on offense. Plus, of course, there's that nickname. Ugh. But the real reason the Eagles will win is that Andy Reid will inspire his team with a rousing defense of fellow fat-coach Mark Mangino of Kansas -- who is at risk of termination at the University of Kansas. Mangino makes Reid look like a GQ model and has everyone in the country saying, sure he's fat, but at least he isn't as fat as Mangino, that guy's a real load. So fly Eagles fly...or at least jump an inch or two.

Browns at Bengals: The Bengals laid a gigantic turd against the Raiders last week, causing many a rousing celebration amongst Raider nation. Let us observe one now, I present the Winter Wind as it should be played:

So the Bengals sure fucked that up. But in the NFL there's no salve better than playing the Browns after a loss. The Bengals will win easily -- and Eric Mangini, not to be confused with half a Mark Mangino will whine all the way back to Cleveland.

Colts at Texans: A few weeks ago, I took the Texans to somehow beat the Colts, like a M-O-R-O-N. Never let it be said that I ever learn my lesson about anything. I saw the Texans blow yet another game on Monday night, they have a short week and the Colts seem to win one way or another every week. They are a much better team, have better talent, and execute better. And that's why the Texans have them just where they want them. Have I made fun of Peyton Manning's forehead yet? I'm taking the Texans. Just because I can and just because there are no real-world repercussions.

Bears at Vikings: Jay Cutler is has a great arm, but his real strength is in pouting. The guy can really pout. You have no idea how many disturbing pictures of some roided up body-builder I had to sift through to find the right Jay Cutler. That's what's really disturbing. Anyhoo, having listened to 11 weeks of NFL acction on various networks it appears to me that this is a battle between a man who "just has fun out there like a kid" and a guy who actually pouts like a real kid...especially if they are on "Two and a Half Men". I'll take the team with the non-pouter -- and the one that's 9 and 1 as opposed to 4 and 6, that makes it a little easier. The Vikes will win.

Patriots at Saints: This weeks "Game of the Century". Two weeks ago, the Patriots managed to find a way to lose to the Colts and now they play the undefeated Saints in New Orleans. I no why many people are taking the Patriots -- because of recent history -- three Super Bowls, Brady, etc. I also think that the Saints are due to lose (see Colts, Indianapolis). I have a feeling the Saints are going to be sky-flippin' high at the beginning of this game. If the Patriots are tied with the Saints after the first quarter, or ahead, they will win. That seems the key to the game to me (oh my Gawd, analysis instead of snark...but let's be honest, I'm just trying to finish this post so I can go see what Broder-Bullshit exists at the WaPo). I'm gong with the Patriots.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Stay out of small SUVs

Well, this is ominous:

[Jim] Harbaugh tweets Condoleeza Rice is team captain for Stanford this week [in its game against Notre Dame].

Stanford's captain last week was Tiger Woods. If the trends continue Condi will soon be attacked by a driver-wielding George W. Bush.

What I'm tired of hearing

Is preliminary statements about how "Black Friday" went well.

Happens every year -- just like preliminary indications the Lions will play well on Thanksgiving.

Travel Thought

If suddenly Americans stopped traveling by car, not only would the atmosphere be cleaner and our need for wars curbed -- but Slim Jims and Combos would cease to be a viable market product.

Seriously, Slim Jims have to be the most disgusting food item ever created, yet they seem to be the bees knees for traveling. I'd guess that a healthy percentage of highway accidents involve taking off that wrapper to get to the flavored "processed intestine" goo. [I'm guessing this will not result in complimentary product -- and I'm okay with that]

And Combos, which seem to be completely unthought of in my life, unless I'm somewhere in the midst of the interstate highway system. I'm pretty sure I am not alone in this thought.

Chuck Todd's Goatee

And in the continuing story of self-proclaimed Asian foreign policy expert not knowing his ass from a hole-in-the-ground...the Chinese join the U.S. in a condemnation of Iran's nuclear program just after the Obama visit.

...for previous discussion from "senior government official" on what Obama told the Chinese about Iran, go here. Will wait to see if this weekend's talk shows or opinion sections offer any "hey, wait a minute" reconsideration of their unanimous judgment last week about the way the Obama team was manhandled and stonewalled by the Chinese. I'll wait, but I won't hold my breath.

And furthermore, James Fallows asks:

Seriously, when does an official part of the chattering class -- one of the weekend talkers, someone from the leading newspapers -- look back on these past two weeks in journalism's effort to represent reality and ask how the dominant narrative could have been so wrong, and wrong in a way that was easily noticeable at the time? Just curious. The guiding motto for the inquiry should be the deathless subhead on Tish Durkin's article: "Even through a veil of censorship and propaganda, the Chinese people managed a clearer view of Obama's visit than the US media did."

Don't look to Chuck, he's too busy twittering about his fantasy football teams....seriously.

The result of their labors

I guess I've been too busy hearing about "Sino-American" tweet-spert Chuck Todd's analysis of asian diplomacy to make note of the real achievements of America's greatest diplomats, right-wing Christian Congress-creeps:

Jeff Sharlet, author of “The Family: Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power,” reported on NPR’s “Fresh Air” that it was a Family member in the Ugandan parliament who introduced a bill that would increase the punishment for homosexuality from life imprisonment, which is the maximum sentence today, to death:

SHARLET: [The] new legislation adds to this something called aggravated say that any kind of promotion of these ideas of homosexuality, including by foreigners, can result in prison terms. Talking about same sex-marriage positively can lead you to imprisonment for life. And it’s really kind of a perfect case study and the export of a lot of American largely evangelical ideas about homosexuality exported to Uganda, which then takes them to their logical end.

It sure would be nice if people, like say, Chuck Todd ever thought of asking some of these prominent Republicans and Democrats about stuff like this (how about starting with Bart Stupak and Chuck Grassley? ... seeing as it leads to actual policies that are, to say the least, abhorent and malevolent.

Here's some people they could ask:

Here is a list of current elected officials Sharlet mentioned in the interview who he says are associated with the Family:

* Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas
* Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla.
* Sen. Mike Enzi, R-Wy.
* Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa
* Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.
* Sen. Bill Nelson, D-Fla.
* Sen. Mark Pryor, D-Ark.
* Rep. Mike McIntyre, D-N.C.
* Rep. Joe Pitts, R-Penn.
* Rep. Heath Shuler, D-N.C.
* Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Mich.
* Rep. Zach Wamp, R-Tenn.
* Rep. Frank Wolf, R-Va.

(via Balloon Juice)

Friday, November 27, 2009


For those who do not like to eat, shop, or watch football.  We realize that this is a very difficult season for you.  May we suggest that you start a blog about how much you hate to eat, shop or watch football?

What else you gonna do?

Homeland Security Warning Follow-up

Again, Captain Dr. and Gadfly about the Internet, Atta J. Turk and I wish to send along this very important message:


To: American Eaters

From: Department of Homeland Security

Re: Dangerous run on Flexible pants and Waistband Failures

Threat Level: ORANGE (not a pinkish orange, but full on orange like the color that occurs on orange peels, no gray or anything.  Orange orange).

Dear Americans,

The Department of Homeland Security continues to care about you even after the Thanksgiving holiday feasting. After numerous reports of spectacular waistband failures across the country have been reported to the Department, we pass on the following safety tips to you:

As you prepare to repant after Thanksgiving feasting please note the following:

1. Do not assume that simply "sucking in the gut" will be sufficient to place pants upon your person.

2. Do not deep "double belt" as this just increases the number of projectiles that may be flung from your mid-section at unsuspecting family and friends.

3. Do not wear the oversize white pants, we are past Labor Day.

4. Do not develop a sudden urge to do sit ups. 

5. Do not deep fry your frozen pants as you did the turkey, with or without fireworks - this will not help you repant.

6. Do not ask for assistance in reapplying your pants.  It is just gross.

7. Never simply dip your lower half of your body into ink in an effort to appear to be wearing pants. Please.

On behalf of the Department, we wish everyone a very happy and safe after-Thanksgiving shopping holiday season! 


The Homeland Security Threat Determination Department

Division 16, Section V

Non-Disclosed Location 9

Cheney Bunker


From the Men Who Would Dictate How We Live

More model behavior:
The Roman Catholic Church and the police in Ireland systematically colluded in covering up decades of child sex abuse by priests in Dublin, according to a scathing report released Thursday.

The cover-ups spanned the tenures of four Dublin archbishops and continued through to the mid-1990s and beyond, even after the church was beginning to admit to its failings and had professed that it was confronting abuse by its priests.

But rather than helping the victims, the church was concerned only with “the maintenance of secrecy, the avoidance of scandal, the protection of the reputation of the church, and the preservation of its assets,” said the 700-page report, prepared by a group appointed by the Irish government and called the Commission of Investigation Into the Catholic Archdiocese of Dublin.

Just a few bad apples, right father? No. It's a pattern and practice.


It's Black Friday

The first one of the Obama Presidency.

Just imagine the crazy blackboard etchings (and deals!) that Glenn Beck will be coming up with.


OMG, it's really ACORN FRIDAY! Am I the only one who can see Glenn Beck being the only one who can see this?

It's so easy to see when you use your magic extra-tighty whities!

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Homeland Security Warning

Atta J. Turk and I would like (for once and perhaps the only time) echo this warning from the Department of Homeland Security:


To: American Cooks

From: Department of Homeland Security

Re: Proper Turkey Cooking Procedures

Dear Americans,

The Department of Homeland Security cares about you. After numerous house fires have already been reported to the Department, we pass on the following safety tips to you:

As you prepare to deep fry your turkeys please note the following:

1. Do not deep fry your frozen turkey stuffed with frozen chicken stuffed with frozen duck stuffed with fireworks.

2. Do not deep fry your frozen turkey stuffed with frozen chicken stuffed with frozen duck stuffed with fireworks in the middle of the carpeted living room.

3. Do not deep fry your frozen turkey stuffed with frozen chicken stuffed with frozen duck stuffed with fireworks in the middle of the carpeted living room balanced on the snack plate on the coffee table surrounded by candles.

4. Do not deep fry your frozen turkey stuffed with frozen chicken stuffed with frozen duck stuffed with fireworks in the middle of the carpeted living room balanced on the snack plate on the coffee table surrounded by candles and playing children.

5. Do not deep fry your frozen tofu turkey stuffed with frozen tofu chicken stuffed with frozen tofu duck stuffed with tofu fireworks in the middle of the carpeted living room balanced on the tofu snack plate on the coffee table surrounded by tofu candles.

6. Do not deep fry your frozen turkey stuffed with frozen chicken stuffed with frozen duck stuffed with fireworks and guns in the middle of the carpeted living room balanced on the snack plate on the coffee table surrounded by candles and adult males watching football.  In fact, it is a good idea to have little food around males watching football unless you have hired -- in advance -- a cleaning team.

7. Never deep fry candy bars stuffed with loaded guns. Please.

On behalf of the Department, we wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving holiday!


The Homeland Security Threat Determination Department

Division 16, Section V

Non-Disclosed Location 9

Cheney Bunker



On this Thanksgiving holiday -- for those who celebrate, the rest of us just enjoy the opportunity to overeat without the guilt -- we imagine a world where politics would be based on the quality of the ideas not on how angry or how loud someone can yell. 

Isn't that a world worth imagining?


Hey, if David Broder and Harry Reid want a battle to the death Cage-Match far be it from me to stop them. I'm not a bit ol' fan of Reid by any means. But Broder getting taken to task for his GOP-meaning well fantasies is more than necessary.

"How David [Broder] can make this kind of comment after UI bill [Unemployment Insurance extension] is beyond me. It took more than four weeks to pass a bill in the senate that it took the House an hour to pass on the suspension calendar," said Manley [Reid's spokesflack].

Broder acknowledged the unemployment point. "It's a good argument as it implies to the unemployment extension. There have been many occasions where I have been very critical of the Republican stance."

Um, when exactly? And comparatively how much?

And the wankery continues:

Manley said that Broder's column was discussed by "puzzled" Democrats in the Senate cloakroom. "No one could understand it," said Manley. "We had the self-described gold standard of analysis - the CBO - highlighting that the bill reduces the deficit. And David utterly failed to acknowledge that was the case."

Broder often refers to the Congressional Budget Office with the highest praise, but relied mostly in his column on "experts" who proclaim themselves "bipartisan" but whose goals are to dismantle Social Security, Medicare and other vestiges of the New Deal.

Broder's argument was dismissed by his colleague at the Post, Ezra Klein. Broder, however, said he didn't have to look far to find people who agreed with him - which is, in fact, one of the biggest problems the blogosphere has with his type of writing and thinking. "It was hardly a unique viewpoint," Broder said accurately.

So in other words, fuck you old man.

Happy Thanksgiving

I suggest a long-day luxurious drinking. And then go out there and play the Detroit Lions.

You stay kkklassy asshole

Can you imagine if, say, Olbermann made a joke about a military coup when Bush spoke at West Point?

But if the poster-boy for hillbilly heroin does it, no big deal.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It's me bait

How can I possibly resist?

America's worst editor has had it up to here with the sex talk:

That [porn star Sasha] Grey is not a fan of Mrs. Sanford, of course, is not shocking. What's shocking is that I even know her opinion on the woman, on the situation, on politicians and their wives, and that she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side.

As Alex Pereene rightly notes, the discussion topic is actually "sex", something one would think Ms. Grey has extensive knowledge of, from A to Z.

But that last clause, "she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side" is surely right up K-Lo's alley (so to speak).

For Ms. Grey, something extra on the side may be ben-wah balls or a ball gag, for Ms. Lopez cottage fries or ham gravy.

Both artists in their fashion -- just of different media.

"Sneakin' around my back while I'm keepin' on eye on Putin"

Canada, America's purported post-socialist nightmare of universal healthcare and longer life-expectancies has been shown the back of Palin's you betcha expressing hand:

Comedian Mary Walsh's beloved character button-holed the former Alaska governor at a recent book-signing in Columbus, Ohio, only to be strong-armed away from Palin by a cabal of security guards...

After being kicked out of the book-signing, Walsh and her crew then waited outside at a loading dock close to where Palin's bus was parked. When Palin emerged from the Borders bookstore, Walsh said, Delahunty - dressed in a more toned-down version of her trademark warrior princess costume - called out to her.

"Hey, remember us, we're the Canadians! We came all the way here from Canada!" Delahunty yelled. "When we asked you that question, we didn't hear your answer."

Palin strolled over, looking down on Walsh and her crew to tell them that "Canada needs to dismantle its public health-care system and allow private enterprise to get involved and turn a profit." ...

"It was great fun, but also very strange," Walsh recalled.

"We're in a bookstore, at a public event, in a place one would think was a bastion of free speech. And no one was allowed to ask questions. What are they afraid of?"
As to the last statement, they're afraid she'll open her pie-hole.

As to the assertion of dismantling their health-care system, over their mullet sporting bodies.

Because, Canadians sure hate their universal health care, if in the modern GOP vernacular, love=hate, those Orwellian goofs.

That's why its universal health-care's greatest advocate is also the nation's greatest figure, according to Canadians themselves. That's six spots higher than Don Cherry, nine more than Gretzky, eh!

And it's why all those opinion polls in Canada are so totally in favor of preserving it, because it's so damned popular.

Makes you wonder (okay, not all that much really)


Compare these statements from the Mr. Prescription Addiction, the Pill-Popper-in-Chief if you will:

If you live in the universe of lies, the last thing that you are governed by is the truth. The last thing you are governed by is reality. The only thing that matters to you is the advancement of your political agenda. And you tell yourself in the universe of lies that your agenda is so important the world will not survive without it and therefore you can lie, cheat, steal, destroy whoever you have to to get your agenda done because your opponents are evil, and in fighting evil, anything goes. There are no rules when you're in a fight with the devil.

And unlike the usual Rush-listener, it makes ya' think back to November 2006, when the GOP lost Congress and when the same moron said this:

But the way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm just going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried.

In other words prior to November 2006, for you Rush...

The only thing that mattered to you was the advancement of your political agenda. And you told yourself in the universe of lies that your agenda was so important the world will not survive without it and therefore you could lie, cheat, steal, destroy whoever you had to to get your agenda done because your opponents are evil, and in fighting evil, anything goes.

So ultimately for you Rush, just another day ending in "Y".

Let's just re-write history

Remember when Bill Clinton was reading The Pet Goat while the nation was under attack?

Pigmissile Perino states: "We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term"

Me neither.

Quality Snark

In my post yesterday about the GOP's new list-making (Top 10 Signs you're a moron) which managed to rip off both Letterman and Jeff Foxworthy, commenter Fred Flinstone (from Bedrock, twist twist?) mentioned this in comments, and it is really some brilliant and pithy snark.

From Pudentilla at Skippy tbk:

an american conservative is someone who believes that

a) the vatican ought to decide our domestic policy;
b) israel ought to decide our foreign policy;
c) communist china ought to decide our economic policy; and
d) osama bin ladin ought to decide who gets tried in our courts.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

As I was saying about Chuck Todd, brain like a sponge

Not figuratively, literally:

Yes, I've only been calling Cohen "America's Concern Troll" for years, literally, years.

Cohen's the fucking founder.

Jeezus, our establishment media is the worst in the world. What good is the First Amendment if this is the babbling bullshit it is used for (as opposed to quality pornography)?

How much are you paid Chuckles? Even use the "google"?

Joe McCarthy would approve

Oh, those Republicans, they do love making lists...

A group of conservative Republican leaders is proposing a solution to the internecine warfare over what the party should stand for: a 10-point checklist gauging proper adherence to core principles like opposing government financing for abortion and, more generally, President Obama’s “socialist agenda.”

Oh, they're makin' a list
won't edit it twice,
gonna find out
who's crazy and white

Righty Clause is comin'
to town...

Just like Carrie Prejean

How many "ick" moments can there be in a few paragraphs? Sarah Palin goes to bother an old man, and the usual line of moose-shit ensues:

"He's followed her career and likes her strong stand on faith," said son Franklin Graham, who was present for the 2 1/2-hour get-together. "Daddy feels God was using her to wake America up."

The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate told Billy Graham about how she came to faith in God as a girl in Bible camp.

She quizzed him on the presidents he's known and wanted his take on what the Bible says about Israel, Iran and Iraq, Franklin Graham reported.

First of all, Franklin Graham is a real piece of work to begin with, but he's on old man himself, when you reach that age do not call your father "daddy" -- it's just plain creepy. "Daddy" is a word for five-year olds, trophy wives, and someone you're paying at least $100 an hour to. For example, my billable rate is $250, if you want legal advice, or just want me to call you Daddy, I'm in the yellow pages.

Second, Billy Graham's foreign policy expertise ended when he found a biblical reason to bomb the fuck out of Cambodia.

And, of course, who better to rely upon than noted anti-semite Billy Graham for advice about that rapture business.

Billy Graham has NEVER met a war he didn't like, he's the biggest Uriah Heep in the history of this country. He and Palin should get along just fine.

America's Concern Troll

Who better than me to judge Obama's morals? Who's more moral than me? Let me cite examples that are actually the opposite of the message I am badly trying to put forth. Y'know, like every Tuesday.

Oh, and here's a guy named James Fallows who knows I'd say a bit more than Dick Cohen about most things (if a bit is the size of the solar system), especially Obama's trip to Asia.


So let me get this straight.

Invading countries, just because we can; secret meeting with oil companies to divvy up that same country's oil; having one's own personal hidey-hole and man-sized safes; authorizing torture and hell, enjoying it; outing a covert agent; having no problem with perjury; telling a Senator to go 'fuck himself'; sleeping on the job; wearing a green parka and snow boots to a Holocaust memorial service; and shooting your friend in the face are all signs of "strength" and what this country is all about to most Americans.


Cheney says that when the President bows to a foreign leader, "our friends and allies don't expect it and our adversaries perceive it as a sign of weakness."

"I think it's fundamentally harmful and it shows in my mind that this is a guy, a president, who would bow, for example, who doesn't fully understand or have the same perception of the U.S. role in the world that I think most Americans have," he says.

I think we all have this straight now. When it comes to being a DICK, Cheney bows to no one.

Monday, November 23, 2009

These Kids Today

Hey, I'm trying out the Twitter with all the cool kids.

And they think this is good news?

Because really what two organizations have been better at conspiring to ignore closed-head injuries than these two?

Glazer also reported that the NFL has been in touch with the Department of Defense about sharing information related to head injuries and brain trauma for soldiers and football players. It stems from Goodell's trip to the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters in July 2008.

Step One: Give the harmed party a Silver Star!

Step Two: Move along.

Step Three: Blather rinse, repeat.

The thing about Palin's slack-jawed followers

Isn't that there's something in that grifter that "touched them" it's that there's something in her that makes them "touch themselves". You think many of them would not be so affected, as touching themselves is nothing new, but I guess it's the "purpose driving wank" that makes the difference.

And speaking of ass

I remember when Randy Moss pretended to moon the patrons of Green Bay in the playoffs, Fox's Joe Buck got the vapors. Only to later run into Artie Lange who showed Buck just what the vapors actually look like -- apparently they go well with coke and being a slob.

However, if Joe Buck was watching last nights football game, I do believe Devin Hester may have killed the poor, hyper-sensitive, man.

Could he be a bigger ass?

Glenn Beck, not satisfied in merely having a racist nut-job as a favorite historian, and loving having racists as frequent guests -- is not yet done being a gigantic douchebag:

- On August 28, 2010, I ask you, your family and neighbors to join me at the feet of Abraham Lincoln on the National Mall for the unveiling of The Plan and the birthday of a new national movement to restore our great country.

Hot Air’s Allahpundit notes that the date of Beck’s DC event “happens to be the anniversary of the ‘I Have a Dream’ speech” by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not working too well

Lately I've been making an effort to get up early, instead of insanely early. Surprisingly, it seems to make me groggier.

Atrios said something exactly right yesterday:

The media is basically letting all opponents of health care say whatever the hell they want about health care reform with little pushback.

I don't know why I continue to be surprised when this happens, but I do...

It's always good news for Republicans. And you know what else is? The fact that in Great Britain they actually have an occasional press attempt for accountability that doesn't end when something else shiny comes along (and also topless women, but that's really Rupert's fault).

Tony Blair, the former prime minister, misled MPs and the public throughout 2002 when he claimed that Britain’s objective was “disarmament, not regime change” and that there had been no planning for military action. In fact, British military planning for a full invasion and regime change began in February 2002.

And, of course, they didn't plan alone.

But strangely, the cheerleaders for that war, like Joe Lieberman and Bill Kristol, also get to trot out lie after lie about health care, and no one in our splendid press corps seems to wonder why anyone should listen to them, let alone uncritically. We cannot possibly hold people -- well, Republicans, accountable for their past actions.

(pic from here)

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Sunday, November 22, 2009

What the fuck is wrong with people?!

What the hell?

Vampires and werewolves have vanquished a dark knight. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" took in $72.7 million in its first day to break the single day domestic box office record previously held by "The Dark Knight," which had a $67.2 million opening day last year.

The Friday haul for the "Twilight" sequel includes a record $26.3 million from midnight screenings alone.

I don't wanna sound too much like some old guy telling people to get off their lawn but c'mon? A bunch of angst-filled petulant glaring sparkly angst-filled (that's right I said it twice) teenage vampires staring at each other? WTF?

Shit doesn't even blow up for the love of Michael Bay!

Oh thank goodness

Our national nightmare has been extended into yet another week:

Joe Lieberman is on Meet the Press -- oh wait questions will David Gregory not ask this time?

Oh, and C-SPAN ignores the Lingerie Football League for yet ANOTHER week. And instead has two Carlsons worth the price of none, Margaret and Tucker.

Atta J. Turk's Trusty NFL Picks

I suppose I could put this in Star Trekese -- you know how they make some statement like "You know, Mr. Chekov the great writers, Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Twain, Shalmoz of Talos III..." there's always that kicker that is just a bit "dickish" enough to let you know in the future and in space we'll still be pulling shit like 'freedom fries'. So let me do it with the NFL.

There have been a lot of great games in the NFL this year. The two Viking-Packer games, the Patriots and the Colts, the Giants and the Chargers and the Browns at the Lions. That's right, dickish. And so we go to week ll and everybody plays their 10th game -- no more byes. Last week I was 4 and 2 and boosting my record up to 39 and 21. That's pretty good and certainly less revealing of idiocy than ESPN having Matt Millen do games in Michigan.

And with that said:

Browns at Lions
: Will anyone watch this game? Well, anyone that isn't having hot candle wax dumped on their balls or under the spell of a vicious cutting fetish? Oh, that's not fair. Lion and Brown fans will be watching it, because it is pretty much each teams last chance at a win in 2010. "We're Number 31, We're Number 31!". I've seen enough of both these clubs to pretty much last me a lifetime, but at least the Lions appear to have a pulse. Now that Jamarcus Russell is on the bench, congratulations Browns, you have the worst starting QB in the league. Take the Lions and hide your shame.

Colts at Ravens: Something must be done to take Peyton Manning's gigantic forehead down a notch. It's really rather freakish. His slackjawed, always seemingly overwhelmed younger brother, doesn't have this problem. Oh sure, they both have those slumped-assed shoulders but Eli has a normal, non-hydro-cephalic forehead. What gives, really? There's no real logical reason for me to pick the Ravens -- it's not like I should be overwhelmingly impressed by their performance against the Browns on Monday -- essentially they just stood around and waited for the Browns to suck themselves down. But still, there won't be a hangover as they didn't exactly engage in anything other than a glorified scrimmage. But I have to think eventually the Colts will stumble enough for a decent team to beat them. i'm going to say it is this day, take the Ravens. And if it's a rout, look at Manning on the sideline. When he wears a ball-cap his head still looks like one of those "racing sausages" at a Milwaukee Brewers game.

Redskins at Cowboys: Once again I enact my rule of always choosing against the team with the most offensive symbol (granted it is only referred to when I pick against the Redskins). Somehow the Redskins looked like a real NFL team last week and beat a decent, though fading, Broncos team. I have no idea how this happened, but it will not be a trend. Cowboys will win.

Steelers at Chiefs
: Have you noticed that Chris Berman has started annoying America outside of the ESPN studios? In this case he's badgering us for Applebees, which is to restaurants what ESPN is to sports -- with fewer lizard heads and probably more sex harassment per capita. This follows a period of time where Berman was amongst many sports-whores pushing Nutri-System. I'm pretty sure some cheese-slathered double-beef-jalepeno-batter-dipped bacon burger with a 98 oz beer is not on the Nutri-System approved list. What does this have to do with the Steelers and Chiefs? Why nothing goddammit. But do you really expect the Chiefs to win this game? I don't because I'm within a chili cheese-fry of sanity. Take the Steelers.

Chargers at Broncos: A few weeks ago everybody thought this division was over, but the Broncos did a lot of their winning with mirrors, now they are missing Kyle Orton, patron saint of the pubic-neckbeard. I'm pretty sure many people never expected this to be typed, but unlike Jay Cutler, Kyle Orton cannot be adequately replaced. It's highly unlike he'll play. Meanwhile, the Chargers are playing well and they are led by the world's most talented goofy-ass hillbilly. Seriously, look at Rivers throw, what the fuck kind of throwing motion is that? But somehow it works. I shouldn't feel this confident, but I do. Take the Chargers.

Titans at Texans: So the old Houston Team, the original team, with the original owner who moved when Houston wouldn't give him a stadium, comes and plays the new Houston team in their new stadium. Just how many hundreds of thousands is a new double-barrelled shooting the bird dance worth for Bud Adams now? The Titans are playing well, having rolled off three in a row under the no longer suicidal Vince Young and the very talented and fast Chris Johnson. The Texans meanwhile have a shitty run defense. Naturally, I'm taking the Texans.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

And while we're on the subject

Of the Teabagger movement, I'm not at all surprised their leader throws out slurs and epithets, but there's no lack of irony in his favorite:

Tea Party Express co-chair Mark Williams, one of the most visible spokespersons for the tea party movement, has repeatedly called his political opponents "faggot" on his blog.

Sounds like a real sweetheart, one can certainly understand why this minor-league sociopath is the darling of cable news.

And as the pictures note he hangs out with Teabagger financier Dick Armey, a man who is no stranger to that "lovely' phrase himself.

"[A] Seemingly Endless Parade of Meanies"

Matt Taibbi has an interesting perspective on Sarah Palin and her bestseller:
[Palin] is the country’s first WWE politician — a cartoon combatant who inspires stadiums full of frustrated middle American followers who will cheer for her against whichever villain they trot out, be it Newsweek, Barack Obama, Katie Couric, Steve Schmidt, the Mad Russian, Randy Orton or whoever. Her followers will not know that she is the perfect patsy for our system, designed as it is to channel popular anger in any direction but a useful one, and to keep the public tied up endlessly in pointless media melees over meaningless horseshit (melees of the sort that develop organically around Palin everywhere she goes). Like George W. Bush, even Palin herself doesn’t know this, another reason she’s such a perfect political tool.
The only upside to all of this is that John McCain will wince every time he sees her on TV. He'll never take responsibility for unleashing this moron on the country, of course, but he'll be in his own private hell. Small consolation, but it's something.


This film made by the 'heroes' of the movement shows that the diversity of the group is stunning. And as the teabagging crowd would say, 'they really do all look alike!'

Yes, especially when they are the same person.

As if thought up at Sterling-Cooper

Found at the Great Orange Satan, this 1962 advertisement from Humble Oil (which through various mergers ended up being part of Exxon-Mobil -- so truth in advertising is certainly here in spades).

Mission Accomplished and all that.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Night Lights

I just saw Senator Sheldon Whitehouse speak at a Brennan Center lecture at NYU Law School. Whitehouse is an excellent speaker, a committed defender of the Constitution, and a major badass.

Do you know what he told us? Out of thirty-six weeks in session this year, the United States Senate has had four weeks of working sessions. Four weeks. What happened to the other thirty-two weeks? They were sucked up by Republican filibusters. That's right: Republican filibusters. Remember the people who hate the filibuster so much that they were willing to "Go nuclear"? Them. There have been ninety filibusters this year and there's no end in sight. Ninety. I sat there wondering why the Democrats had not gotten this message out to American citizens (because you have to admit that "Republicans have obstructed the United States Senate's work for thirty-two weeks this year" is a pretty compelling message) when Whitehouse told us that the Democrats have realized that they need to take that message to the people (and that at least some of them are discussing changing the filibuster rules). Stay tuned ...

He also discussed the importance of the Citizens United vs. Federal Eleciton Commission case currently before the Roberts court and said that depending on the ruling, it may be necessary to amend the Constitution to deal with the Democracy-degrading implications of the case. With regard to that possibility, he said, "Gird your loins..."

I like this guy.

Keep shining on you crazy diamonds

Thanks for the entertainment:

BUTTARS: I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid’s face.

That hate us for our Commercially Available Cheese-Head Hats

Via Spencer Ackerman, THIS is the height of hilarity:

It seems that the Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers saga is such a worldwide phenomenon that it's being used by detainees in American military camps.

According to a military official, detainees at a Wisconsin National Guard camp in Iraq are using Brett Favre as a manner of getting at the guard troops there.

"They know Favre by name," said First Lieutenant Tim Boehnen, who is from New Richmond, Wis.

"One of the big words they know now is shenanigan. They'll constantly talk about 'Favre shenanigans,' 'He's so good for the Vikings,' and 'The Packers have got to really feel bad about that one.'"

Well, you know what will follow this...

President Obama joins NFL players in Thanksgiving message

President Barack Obama will join Saints quarterback Drew Brees, Steelers safety Troy Polamalu and Cowboys linebacker DeMarcus Ware in a special public service announcement debuting during each of the three NFL games played on Thanksgiving. The 90-second PSA is a joint effort of the NFL's PLAY 60 campaign, a leaguewide effort to fight childhood obesity by getting kids active for 60 minutes a day,

Here he is catching a ball in slow-mo -- like Communists do (you should have seen Joe Stalin's awesome slo-mo Vodka Bong inhale!)


Denny Hastert, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh will demand a 90-second reply PSA where they encourage kids to sit on their ass and have more gravy. "There's noting like Pumpkin Pie ala-mode topped with some gravy", Gingrich says.

I Don't Ordinarily Go for Conspiracy Theories, But ...

...first mammograms, now PAP smears. All this news about evidence-based medicine, specifically about new guidelines for prevention of two conditions that scare most women,* in just one week leading up to a a crucial vote about health care reform?

Why, you'd have to wonder if someone -- maybe some group -- was trying to terrify the public and kill health care reform.

That said, I did want to take this moment to put all men on notice: we ladies will be hogging all the soon-to-be-rationed health care.

*Including me.

I'm pissing my pants in anticipation

Chuckles Krauthammer may have been getting the opportunity to spew his bile about bombing various and sundry brown people for years but, GOD forbid someone get a public trial for the opposite crime.

Meanwhile, nearby, actual sane persons go all "fact" and "logic" on Krauthammer, which is totally unfair.


The Village Elder Points a bony finger at you:

Sarah Palin is right -- far be it from me to say one cray thing she's right about however. She's a Republican after all.

It's contagious

I tell ya' spend a few hours with Sarah Palin and ya' just give up and quit with dispatch. Et tu Oprah, et tu?

Oh, and speaking of quitting -- Lou Dobbs was on the Daily Show on Wednesday evening. Much of the interview was put on the internet. The last part of which is below, I do believe that the last minute is so well put that Jon Stewart deserves more than just loud applause.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Lou Dobbs Extended Interview Pt. 3
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

And really, isn't Palin and her quitting, just the summation of modern conservative thought?

"We can't do this, we can't do that. Well, accept for that one thing we all lined up and said we could do six and a half years ago, declared "Mission Accomplished", but now we cannot possibly stop that EVER! Just keep on spending!"

Nothing can be done, and the less the better. Except when it comes to guns, bombs, and types of people they don't like. They're nostalgic for a time in America that never actually existed, rather the actual American was one that built things, fought and won a actual world wars, ended slavery and legal racism, went to the Moon, etc. All thanks to the Americans and their "BIG GOVERNMENT" they so hate.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Thursday, November 19, 2009

File Under: "Words I Never Thought I'd Hear Myself Utter"

Disconcerting Greenwald-esque update below.

Less disconcerting second Greenwald-esque update below that one.


NYT: Giuliani is Said to Have Decided Not to Run for Governor

Hey, Judi: Time to start hunting for Husband No. 4.

Update: Oh, Goddamnit: Report: Rudy Will Run For Senate Against Gillibrand -- And Then For President Again

Judi obviously got to him.

Seriously...this little prick thinks he can run on a platform that says, "I'm going to bounce your senator and then pull a Palin after two years so I can run for president? At last Hillary did New Yorkers the courtesty of blowing smoke up our asses about her presidential ambitions.

Update II: Heh. Giuliani camp denies senate report..

Book reviews

So I don't have to go through the remainder bin just before New Years.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Grand Old Pity Party
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorU.S. Speedskating

Which set of Corporate Whores is slightly more interested in you?

I won't say this makes me proud to be a Democrat, but it at least makes me justified in NOT being a Republican. Because while many Democrats care for you very little, most Republicans could not even give a shit about you:

Just now on the Senate floor, Republicans objected to a motion by Chris Dodd (D-CT) to immediately take up a bill to move up the effective date on the CARD Act, which was passed several months ago. In the intervening time, credit card companies have been jacking up their rates in what Dodd described as “a last-ditch attempt” to pad their profits until all of the provisions of the CARD Act, which prevents arbitrary interest rate, fee and finance charge increases on existing balances, take effect. The bill Dodd sought would have frozen all rates, charges and fees until all of the CARD Act’s provisions became law. It would also have reduced rates for every cardholder who saw arbitrary rate increases in 2009.

So basically, the banksters have been gouging their customers one last time, Sen. Dodd wanted to stop them from doing that, and Republicans objected.

BEHOLD, the protection of their corporate masters in action...


I think we all remember the time Karl Rove won the Congressional Medal of Honor, right? Just ask him:

NEW YORK -- Karl Rove's memoir has a title, "Courage and Consequence," and a release date - March 9, 2010.

Beyond parody.

Kind of glad I'm in the US

For a number of reasons, but I imagine if I lived elsewhere in the world, I'd get rather sick of hearing about this incessantly. It's enough to drive an Irish person to drinking and fighting [insert ethnic slur here].

Thank goodness we live in a country that just talks about Brett Favre, Bill Belicheck, and female soccer players who pull ponytails.

Y'know the important stuff.

She's like a GIANT VACANT GOLDEN GOD to me

Empty vessels for Empty vessels:

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Village in Action...

Behold the "so-called" wisdom of Ambinder:

If Palin wasn't so breathlessly dumb and lazy, she could become smart.

I swear, he just pretty much said that.

All our state's marching bands do is...

Play Meredith Wilson songs...

Stanford's Marching Band is pretty awesome...hard to believe the school produces so many conservative fucks...but then none of them are in this band. I imagine Condi fainted many a time watching them.

Last week, in addition to kicking USC's butt on the latter's home field, their band's half-time show at the Coliseum was a "Salute to USC Alum Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild infamy for his distinguished career in "sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence"

This and $2.25 Will Get Me on the Subway

Lord Lloyd Blankfein apologizes.

This made me laugh:
Faced with this criticism, Goldman announced yesterday that it is putting $500m aside to help 10,000 small US businesses. The donation (equal to 3% of its bonus pot) will be managed by a council led by Blankfein, Harvard Business School professor Michael Porter, and legendary investor Warren Buffett.
Trust me: Goldman has -- or will -- find a way to extract wealth from those 10,000 small businesses. It's what they do.

I think I will re-read the Taibbi piece on Goldman. This thing obviously has legs.

Attention World

I don't know who said this first, but the Al Qaeda leaders who are going to be tried in New York City are NOT comic-book Super Villains. They are not "Dr. Octopus", the are not "Lex Luthor", they are not even "The Penguin" (although that would be rather awesome).

No, they are rather cretinous and craven assholes. I beseech you, READ THIS BOOK.

They are rather pathetic figures - though vile - who got extraordinarily lucky -- unbelievably lucky.

We've held them -- hell tortured them sadly -- for eight years in GITMO and managed not to be attacked.

I believe Letterman summed this up best (along with the proclivity of certain words) in this moment (apologize for the commercial thing):

David Broder would approve

Because now, going after women and their "evil evil lady parts" is bipartisan. And there's nothing greater than that:

The League of Extraordinarily Repulsive Gentlemen:

Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) pledged on Tuesday morning to defeat healthcare reform legislation if his abortion amendment is taken out, saying 10 to 20 anti-abortion-rights Democrats would vote against a bill with weaker language.

“They’re not going to take it out,” Stupak said on “Fox and Friends,”

Yes, on Fox and Friends, the nation's premiere show for stories of Sarah Palin riding a dinosaur (the Palinolithic Era) before field dressing it -- it's full of meat after all.

And who else is ol' Bart hanging with?

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) told Politics Daily Tuesday that he plans to introduce an amendment to the Senate health care reform bill similar to the amendment by Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) that was attached to the House health care reform bill.

Of course he will. I'll let Tom Tomorrow summarize it from here.

[semi-cross-posted but completely unhyphenated at Firedoglake]

Forget waiting 4 hours...

If you wear these, please consult a psychiatrist...


Prepare for the Kittehpocalypse!!!

Their long-standing plans are finally being hatched:

LOS ANGELES — Two Southern California cities have voted to ban the declawing of cats, joining San Francisco and Santa Monica which recently outlawed the practice.

The Beverly Hills City Council voted 5-0 Tuesday night to approve a declawing ban, except in cases of medical necessity.

The Los Angeles City Council also gave final approval to a similar ordinance Tuesday.

(seriously, I approve)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I'm not much of a fan of New York governor David Paterson, and apparently New Yorkers are not fans of his at all.

But, yesterday Rupert Murdoch -- who is growing even more contemptible than before -- said this in regard to the lack of civil discourse -- it wasn't in any way FoxNews's fault, but rather guys like David Paterson:

No, Murdoch's slurred, barely coherent answer blamed politicians, including Paterson, who, it's important to note, is "blind, and can't read braille, and doesn't know what's going on." And therefore is responsible for the lack of civil discourse in our political conversation.


What Tom Tomorrow Says:

Read the whole thing here.

Plus, God made them full of meat

This works for this story of Sarah Palin's vast knowledge of absolutely nothing.

I wonder what Palin's "Gamera" policy is?

Quick view of my personal life

Not much of one really.

I swear, I don't know how it happens but I look in my refrigerator and/or cupboards before I go shopping and there's no sign of salad dressing or mustard.

So I go to the store buy a new blue cheese dressing (only the least healthy for me) and yellow mustard (only the cheapest for me) only to discover upon returning home I already have two blue cheese dressings and two mustards -- so that now I have three of each.

I swear my condiments are hanging out with my socks.

Sarah Palin -- gives the Jews & Muslims the whatfor

It's tough to argue against logic like this...what with it lacking logic and all:

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

Which completely explains the prohibition on eating things like Pigs, Shellfish, and...

But don't eat the meat of any of the following birds: eagles, vultures, falcons, kites, ravens, ostriches, owls, sea gulls, hawks, pelicans, ospreys, cormorants, storks, herons, and hoopoes. [a] You must not eat bats.

It's like God is enforcing the Endangered Species Act or something.

Meanwhile, fuck it, I'm having some hoopoe jerky.


...don't eat camels, rabbits, and rock badgers.

Imagine a world where the B-52s sang about "Rock Badgers"?

Well we can... as God will Smith those who dwelleth too often near 'The Red Lobster' (or Rock Lobster for that matter):

9You can eat any fish that has fins and scales. But there are other creatures that live in the water, 10and if they do not have fins and scales, you must not eat them. Treat them as unclean.

The above phrases comes just after another of my favorite asshole biblical phrase:

6-10 Someone else may say to you, " Let's worship other gods." That person may be your best friend, your brother or sister, your son or daughter, or your own dear wife or husband. But you must not listen to people who say such things. Instead, you must stone them to death. You must be the first to throw the stones, then others from the community will finish the job. Don't show any pity.

Thanks for fucking things up for all concerned there God. The three major faiths that worship you, and ostensibly YOU alone, have managed to still violate this tenet by following it an awful lot.