Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Huckster on Faux

Discussions appear to be underway that would pave the path for Huckabee to get a show on Faux "News".  Is anyone surprised?  I am only shocked that it did not happen sooner... the "media" praised the Hucksters supposed media skills.  Although it is always easier to praise a mediocre public speaker while trying to tear down a gifted orator.

But what kind of news programming does Huckabee come up with for this new program?  What are the Huckster's strengths?

So in our effort to be helpful, we need to come up with names for this show.  Here are a few of my suggestions:

  1. God, Me, and Huckabee - Will only work with a cheesy 80s sitcom song for the show's theme music.  And will have to start with lots of fade in and out shots of Huckabee doing different things.  Should end with him eating a piece of American pie (handed to him by an elderly actress pretending to be mom) with fireworks going off over the baseball game he is watching.  Then fade to show title over an American flag.  Because it is important to be subtle.
  2. God Knows Right - Only so long as Pat Buchanon says it is ok to use this title.
  3. God and God - The title really says it all.  At all times during the show, Huckabee should shake his head as if he knows something the audience does not know.  And always, always speak condescendingly of anyone who does not see the world in the same way.
  4. God Votes Republican - Again plays to the core whack-a-mole Republican crowd and will only confirm their most strident beliefs.  And title will bring them back as viewers which is more important.
  5. The God Report - Sort of a Brit Hume like vehicle for Huckabee.  Will take some work on creating a good logo for this.  Show should end with Huckabee saying "good night, God" and then waiting for a few seconds for a reply before fading to credits.
  6. God Talk with Pastor Huckabee - So many ways to work this one.  Will have to shoot the show with Huckabee behind a nice wooden desk.  There should be many books behind him.  Having read them, optional.  Very important that these books are lengthy -- will need to use liberal books for that.
  7. God Damns Liberals (each and every day) - this will play to Huckabee's core contingent and get loads of press.  A good theme song performed by some country act who is hot at the moment might work.  What is Toby Keith doing?
  8. Bible the Huckabee Way - who knew that Jesus turned the other cheek so he could grab a gun?
  9. The 701 Club: The Fair and Balanced Christian News - Must get a crystal cathedral for broadcasting the show.  Ailes' house just not big enough.  Maybe we could shoot the show from the Crawford Ranch, wasn't there a really large cross put up there?
  10. The Huckabee Religious Right-of-Way - Show could start with Huckabee driving to work waving at both alive and dead Republicans on his way to the studio.  Maybe a cardboard cut out of St. Reagan could be in the passenger seat.  Will have to check market research on that question.

Do you have any suggestions for what Huckabee should call his new Faux "News" show? 

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