Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Pending Claims of Michelle Bachman

1. FDR knew the Germans would bomb Pearl Harbor.

2. William Jennings Bryan blew up the U.S.S. Maine.

3. That Woodrow Wilson wouldn't leave that poor Denice alone.

4. Martin Van Buren prevented the Alamo from renting quality GM cars.

5. Ted Kennedy drove Billy Joe MacAllister off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

6. Black people don't count. Er, sorry that's Byron York.

7. Francis Gary Powers was the original drummer of U2.

8. Admiral Halsey notified me I had to give birth or he couldn't get to sea.

9. Remember when Elizabeth Taylor & Mickey Rooney cheered on as Jesus & his Dinosaur won the Grand National Steeplechase?

Surely there are more, but I'm only a half-a-pot of coffee into the day.

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