Because this is first and foremost not a gambling site.
Last Week 4 and 2.
New England over NY Jets: Because the hoodie is strong in the battle of the leagues two most slovenly coaches. But mostly because this is an AFL match up which means throw-backs, New England's throwbacks, rather awesome. The Jets, the same putrid "Titans" throwback they've had the last two years. C'mon, Jets use this throwback.
Steelers over Bears: I really cannot get enough of watching Jay Cutler throw picks and pouting. Have you noticed how much he looks like fat-faced Chip from My Three Sons? It's really quite striking. Not that Ben Roethlisberger's any prize. In fact, I'm calling it, these are the two ugliest QBs in the NFL. But Chip Douglas has to lose.
Jaguars over Cardinals. There are approximately 10,000 seats or more still available for this gridiron classic. But I have to favor the home team in the Apathy Bowl.
Seahawks over 49ers. Yes, I've picked two NFC West Games in a row (plus the Jacksonville Jaguars). Nobody gives a shit about these games, nobody pays attention, and nobody will notice I'll say I go 2 and 0 whether I do or not. My only real regret is that somehow Michael Crabtree can't lose.
Bills over Bucs. You may have noticed I am really picking the important games lately. The Buccaneers have never visited Buffalo. Tragically, William McKinley couldn't say the same thing. *rimshot* Too soon? Try the veal wings and blue cheese.
Saints over Eagles. Donovan McNabb is injured - yet again. I believe he was replaced for a short period by his understudy Kevin Kolb last year and it was, well a short-lived disaster. I'd like to remind folks that Kevin Kolb bears a passable resemblance to Leon Czolgosz. You know if I had a lame joke about the Maine, Cuba or the Philippines, I'd have exhausted my McKinley material.