Rising Hegemon
Well Ramesh has recently given society his own gift, a book entitled "The Party of Death" asserting that modern Democrats are big on "the death". Golly, one party calls a special midnight session to prevent the death of the dead via death and they get to be the Party of Life (as opposed to "life of the party") and the rest of us are just death lovers.
And let us not forget all the lives saved by the Party of Life's magnificent Iraq war, liberating evil doers -- well actually all doers of various creeds -- of life since March 2003. Some day the unappreciative living of Iraq will have to stop rapturously celebrating the liberation long enough to make it safe to count up the "eternally liberated" (somewhere between 35,000 and 250,000). Permanently freed of both the need of oxygen and tax cuts has made the world better without Saddam, don't tell me that the "Party of Life" isn't consistent in opposing taxes!
Liberated!
It is no surprise then that the author of the "Party of Death" appears to buttress his argument that as a good Democrat I'm in favor of death, by supporting "Universal Health Care".
You see, only the "Party of Life" would have the courage to support the health care policy summarized as "Don't Get Sick", because getting sick means your life may be at risk, and dead people cannot belong to the Party of Life (well maybe as an emeritus member, like Reagan and John Paul II -- or anyone else Peggy Noonan has sucked the soul out of). The Party of Life is, after all, nothing if not the Party of Personal Responsibility (may not be applicable to Republicans). That means staying healthy and never getting ill, is YOUR PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
Don't go fobbing off the cost of your bills upon your innocent employer, they do not need your stinking insurance deductions to cheat on their taxes, that's what buying new computers all the time is for! You want health care, or a dual-processing behemoth that can run and store more porn videos than ever before on a glorious 20.1" widescreen LCD? You'll really enjoy that machine until you become a potential litigation hazard because somebody (that "killjoy secretary Marsha") didn't enjoy your latest download displaying Paris Hilton's besotted, well-trod cooch getting on Colin Farrell's flank steak?
Well, what about it punk? What will you do then "Party of Deather"?
I'll tell you what.
First, you find one of those sweet "Party of Life" jobs that manages to have health insurance and is looking to hire.
Some of you might immediately think, since Rameesh works for National Review, "Hey, I can write english good, me know how to speak, me apply there." Well, it's not so simple. You see, while you may fit in well with Jonah and the gang with your love of downloaded porn, the National Review cannot afford good health insurance. Hell, even with underwriting they can barely support K-Lo's trail mix habit. So you cannot really afford to go there. No, you must go an alternative path.
For your ideal, Party of Life job, I suggest going ahead and admitting that you were fired for impermissible downloading. You just change the dynamics a bit. You were not not fired for downloading Paris Hilton naked (how much of a cliche is that anyway?)...no, you were fired for downloading revealing outtakes from Natalie Portman's performance in "The Professional". Go ahead and put that on the application; on the resume; hell have it tattooed on your lower back just above the buttocks.
Second, check out the various advertisements for positions with the Department of Homeland Security. Apply. Do not forget that Portman part.
Third, make sure you don't settle for anything less than "Deputy" something.
Fourth, go to the interview, pants optional.
Get hired, make sure you ask for the insurance.
Pat yourself on the back, after all you can now risk a shoulder separation, for you have become a member of the Party of Life.
Cross-posted to Jesus General where I'm guesting today.
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