Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sorry

*phone rings*


Reporter: "LA Times White House Bureau"

George Bush: Yes, I'd like to speak to Peter Wallsten.

Wallsten: This is he.

George Bush: Oh, (speaks loud, yelling actually... and slowly) I'd...like...to...apologize...for...making fun...of...your...sunglasses!! I did...not...know...you...were...BLIND!!

Wallsten:
Um, that's alright Mr. President, I'm sure you did not know.

George Bush:
(still loud & slow) I...want...you...to...know...that I...have...nothing...against...disfunctional...or gimpy...people...even some...of you...who make me feel weird!!

Wallsten: Um, okay.

Bush:
Say!!! I...bet...you...like...Ray Charles...don't you?!!!

Wallsten:
Well, sure Mr. President.

Bush:
Too...bad...he...died from...being...blind!!

Wallsten:
Ummmm....

Bush: I...want...you...to...know that...I used to...like...James Franciscus's...work!

Wallsten:
Alright.

Bush: I...especially...liked him...in 'Beneath...the...Planet...of...the...Apes'!!

Wallsten: That's nice Mr. President.

Bush: So...when...I...call...you...Longstreet...I'll mean...it...as...a compliment!!!

Wallsten: I'll keep that in mind sir.

Bush: You know...I know...other...people...who are...handicapped!!!

Wallsten: Oh?

Bush: Yes, my sister...Doro!! She's...beefy...real beefy...sooooo very beefy!!!

Wallsten: Yes, I know your sister, but...

Bush: And...when we...were...kids...we had...this gardener from Mexico...with a speech impediment!!! Oh, the fun we...had!!! Oh...I...miss, "Senor Hairlip!!"

Wallsten: [uncomfortable] Yes...sir.

Bush: I...always...give...to...Jerry's Kids!!!

Wallsten: Okay.

Bush: So you...buck up...there...Longstreet!!! We're workin'...on...a...cure for...what...you've got!! Like in Charly!!!

Wallsten: Yessir.

Bush: We're...makin'...good...progress!!! Say...look, I mean, um...[uncomfortably long silence]...ummmmmm....looooooook at the time?!!!!...You must...have...to go...watch...Wapner!!! You have...a...good...day...now, Longstreet!!!!!

Wallsten: Thank you sir.

*click*

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