George Bush & The Parliamentary Wankadelic

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Not surprisingly the reporting on the very legitimate point brought up by Obama at a campaign appearance in Oregon, that Iran poses a significantly smaller threat than the Soviets who we always talked to, has brought out the insanity of those with no historical "bearings" whatsoever.

But really, let's compare:

1. Revolutions: The Soviets shot the Tsar, his family, his servants, his dog, his stuffed animals, his draperies, his yearbook editor, etc. Millions of Russians also died. The Shah died of natural causes...terminal dickishness. Hundreds died. And we can have an accurate position on this because America backed the losing side both times -- so there's that [USA! USA! USA!].

2. Evil Leaders: The Soviets had Stalin. They win. Plus there was nothing about Stalin that rhymed with "ass-a-hola" so it really cut down on T-shirt sales.

3. World War II: No matter how you want to slice it, the Soviets started off pretty badly, but then kicked Germany's ass in the most deadly and brutal war ever fought. Iran hosted a summit that got Stalin to wear his summer generalissimo outfit [dude was definitely "a summer"]. In comparison Khomeini was the Iranian "man in black". Mr. Blackwell would definitely vote Comrade.

4. Key Moment of Victory: Stalingrad, 200 days killed 750,000 Germans, captured 250,000. Iran, hostage crisis lasted 444 days, all American hostages freed safely.

5. Weapons development: The Soviets developed nuclear weapons more than 60 years ago, the H-bomb well over 50 years ago. The Iranians have "enriched" some uranium, yay! Although it should be noted the Iranians have been widely-used test subjects on the effects of chemical weapons. Which would explain a few things, if George Bush gave a damn -- but he doesn't so continuing on...

6. Number of Nuclear Weapons: The Soviets possessed about 30,000 of them at the end of the Cold War...most all of them pointed at the United States. Iran...uh, that would be zero. But, on the other hand you can honestly say that all existing nuclear missiles are pointed at the United States...or Israel depending on who an American politician is speaking to.

7. Eyebrows: Brezhnev in a split decision over Khomeini.

8. Clown-like Leadership, non-George W. Bush Division: Khrushchev banged his shoe with more authority than Ahmadinejad wears that Members-only Jacket. This is especially true in that Khruschev actually ran things, while the latter just drives the tiny, tiny car around the circus.

9. Allies: The Soviets had a "bloc" comprising half of Europe through the Warsaw Pact [coincidentally comprised of nations they occupied, funny that], the Iranians were tossed in with North Korean and Iraq as the "Axis of Evil" [much to the surprise of Iraq & Iran, see #5 above] because Bush learned his history from Dixie Cup sayings.

10. Movies: "Red Dawn" much cheesier than "Not Without My Daughter"

11. Military Spending: In the mid-1980s the Soviet Union spent 15 to 17% of its GDP on the military. Iran, as of 2006, spent 3.5% of its GDP on the military, the least as a percentage of the country's gross national product (GNP) in the region with the exception of the United Arab Emirates (UAE) on its military. Saudi Arabia spends more than 10 times what Iran spent. Oh, and not matter what you hear about oil, the Soviet Union had a much, much, much (add a few more) bigger economy than Iran [damn commies had oil too].