The Talk™

The late Steve Gilliard used to do relationship posts every so often. I remember those posts, not just for Steve's jaded, humorous take on relationships, but also for the rollicking comments sections they inspired. (The wisdom -- or prodigious lack thereof -- of Cary Tennis used to provide Steve with a regular jumping-off point for those posts.) So I'm going to give it a whirl. Today's subject is The Talk™ .

You know The Talk™. Its long-form name is The State-of-the-Relationship Talk. It's essentially a sit-down wherein you and your partner try to figure out just what in the hell is going on. It's the Where-Are-We-Going-And-Where-Have-We-Been conversation and to my mind, I would rather do almost anything, including attend a dinner party at which all the other guests were conservative pundits, the only music played was by '80s hair bands, and the only food served was cauliflower, than have The Talk™. Sometimes The Talk™ leads to a breakup. Sometimes it pushes the relationship to the next level. Sometimes it goes nowhere. My friends tell me that my distaste for The Talk™ is unusual for a female, that we are the champions and usual instigators of The Talk™ and that it's men who typically dread The Talk™ the way George W. Bush dreads an empty keg, a dictionary, or The Hague.

What's your experience? Do you hate The Talk™. Love The Talk™? Or are you agnostic on The Talk™? Is there any way to know what in the hell is happening absent The Talk™ ? Is The Talk™ different when you're married than it is when you're single? Is there one Talk™ or are there many? Is it realistic to think that I can avoid The Talk™ and still take part in a healthy relationship? Or is leaving well (or hell) enough alone acceptable? Or are you like me and is this a subject you would rather avoid for the rest of your days?

Talk to me.