Drill Down

With regard to this news that Obama wants to explore for oil and gas off the east coast ...

I’ll wait until I hear more details before I react, although I will go on record as saying that if Obama wants to rig an oil derrick off of Jim DeMint’s back deck, I’m cool with that.

Well, "don't that beat all?"

Anti-Government whack jobs...oh, they HATE HATE HATE the government and all those bullshit Governmental services...

Each of the suspects is being held without bond and they have all requested a public defender.

The 'Grifting' never ends

FoxNews is going to have a Sarah Palin "Spay-shul" where she becomes Wasilla Baba WaWa (try saying that 5 times fast).

Who could have anticipated:

The ex-Alaska governor and newly anointed Tea Party mascot will welcome rapper LL Cool J as one of the first guests on her TV series debuting on April Fool's Day, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday...

LL Cool J, however, disputed that he'd actually be appearing on Palin's show, writing on his Twitter feed that Fox had "lifted an old interview."

"Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW," the rapper wrote, and repeatedly rebroadcast the same message to his followers.

But don't "de-Vaseline" the camera lens yet boys because Toby Keith is also supposed to be on, and I'm guessing Sarah will "DO IT LIVE!".

UPDATE: Apparently Palin's interviewing style is not to do any actual interviewing:

Mere moments after LL Cool J informed the world — and, apparently, Fox News — that he had no intention of being a part of Sarah Palin’s upcoming show, Real American Stories, the good people over at HitFix spoke to country music singer Toby Keith, who’s also featured in the show’s promos. According to HitFix, “Keith, who says he’s a registered Democrat, was not told about the usage of a past interview for Palin’s program. ‘We were never contacted by Fox,’ his rep tells Hitfix. ‘I have no idea what interview it’s taken from. They’re promoting this like it’s a brand new interview. He never sat down with Sarah Palin.’”

Open letter to Sandra Bullock

Sandy, (can I call you Sandy?)

We're the same age. I have no tattoos (I'm aware of); I'm completely untalented with all mechanical devices; I can barely ride a bike, let alone a motorcycle; I've never met, let alone dated or married, a porn star (not even Ron Jeremy); I've never slept with a neo-Nazi (that I know of) - certainly not lately. Further, I have never been photographed in Nazi garb (in a Mao-Hat yes, a youthful indiscretion).

I wouldn't ask for much, just a modest stipend to fund my addiction to Cadbury Eggs say $5,000 a month.

What do ya' say?

It's gotta be better than how E-Harmony did for you.

The irreality is stunning

Funny how David Souter is a "goat-fucking child-molester" (which if nothing else surpasses a Red-State blogger as it is multi-tasking), but at RedState you can proclaim your need to see a liberal die and get a big ol' hug with some fiction thrown in.

Caleb Howe is one of the valuable members of our community who does tremendously good work. As you know, Caleb has put many hours of time and effort into RedState and broken major stories you’ve probably read here. If he was a left-winger, he’d be one of scores of full-timers bankrolled by George Soros and left-wing interest groups, and wouldn’t have to worry about making a living.

Holy Shit, I must be the WORST left-wing blogger ever. Because George Soros doesn't even send me fucking Blue-Mountain e-cards. As a matter of fact, I cannot think of a prominent left-wing blogger that is getting that sweet-Soros money. Is it Atrios? Is it Jane Hamsher? Is it Glenn Greenwald? Is it Josh Marshall? Is it the Great Orange Satan on his Marcos-Sculpted Island Retreat? If it's Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, I'm telling you, I'm going to be royally pissed (I Kid).

Oh, and yes, there is more:

And right now he could use some help. The Obama economy has done him and his family no favors and he has been without a job for some time. With bills to pay, including a mortgage, kids to feed, and an internet connection that has to be paid for, its tough.

Oh, when exactly did Ol' Murder-hoping Caleb lose his job -- and what Obama-based policy caused it? Because surely it wasn't Commander Bunnypants responsibility at all? I guess if McCain had won Caleb would be ass-deep in hookers & blow -- like an RNC staffer.

And yes, if you are wondering where in the newly-proclaimed "mature guy" Erick the Son of Erick's post about Caleb there is an apology by or on behalf of Caleb for wishing death upon people...I guess your shit out o' luck. IOKIYAR.

As TBogg eloquently states:

Drunk, stupid, and working for Erick Erickson for free is no way to go through life young man.

A musical tribute to Caleb...with extra special "really white people" dance moves.

How it always works

Not all conservatives are nut-jobs of course, but the one's that are nut-jobs are constantly spewing complete bullshit on television are allowed to make the most outrageous and patently fraudulent claims possible, loudly and early on.

Meanwhile, legitimate individuals, like actual scientists, are eventually shown to have been completely correct.

The House of Commons' Science and Technology Committee said Wednesday that they'd seen no evidence to support charges that the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit or its director, Phil Jones, had tampered with data or perverted the peer review process to exaggerate the threat of global warming – two of the most serious criticisms levied against the climatologist and his colleagues.

In their report, the committee said that, as far as it was able to ascertain, "the scientific reputation of Professor Jones and CRU remains intact," adding that nothing in the more than 1,000 stolen e-mails, or the controversy kicked up by their publication, challenged scientific consensus that "global warming is happening and that it is induced by human activity."

But the original liars are not punished, indeed their original lie makes it into the marrow of public debate while they find all new things to lie about, very loudly.

BLATHER, RINSE, REPEAT.

The "Don't Tread on Me" Flag is a nice Teabaggeresque Touch

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something that goes ka-boom.

What is it with extreme conservatives and having their weddings in a bunker?



Although if they made it a couple days, they did beat the Hitlers' record.

Meanwhile, this is a classy touch:



I'm just sorry all these folks are going to miss their Passover Seder.

Oh, wait...

Perfectly understandable

If you had to kiss teabagger ass all fucking day.

"I apologize for trying to land a FoxNews contract"

Frankly, I'm surprised they even got a half-hearted "I'm sorry if you're offended" type of apology, but they got more.

A retired American general has apologized for a remark to the U.S. Senate suggesting that gay Dutch soldiers were partly to blame for the Srebrenica massacre by Serb soldiers in Bosnia, according to the Defense Ministry...

The Defense Ministry released an e-mail Tuesday from Sheehan, a former NATO commander who retired from the military in 1997, to retired Dutch Gen. Henk van den Breemen saying he is sorry for his statements to the Senate Armed Services Committee on March 18.

In the e-mail, Sheehan says the 1995 murder of some 8,000 Muslim men in Bosnia’s Srebrenica enclave “was in no way the fault of individual soldiers.”

And now, without the slogans of a moron

The Obama Administration is trying to get movement on a climate change bill and I guess at least they didn't give this away before negotiating...so that's progress right?

Well, maybe not.

President Barack Obama is to announce on Wednesday a plan to permit exploration for oil and natural gas off the coast of Virginia as a way to create jobs and reduce U.S. dependence on foreign oil.

Obama, who wants Congress to move a stalled climate change bill, has sought to reach out to Republicans by signaling he is open to allowing offshore drilling, providing coastlines are protected.

Oh, that'll work. What will the next bad policy decision based on a Republican idea that causes the GOP not to come along?

(pic from here)

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Like most of her obsessions

Kathryn Lopez's love of Nicolas Sarkozy was ill-planned...he's a REAL American-type conservative alright:

“Welcome to the club of states who don’t turn their back on the sick and the poor,” Sarkozy said, referring to the US health care overhaul signed by President Barack Obama last week.

From the European perspective, he said, “when we look at the American debate on reforming health care, it’s difficult to believe”. [...]

Then to hearty applause, he added: “If you come to France and something happens to you, you won’t be asked for your credit card before you’re rushed to the hospital.”

Eight Less Glenn Beck Investors for Gold-Line

Undoubtedly, for these few...these lucky malodorous few...these band of wankers ... a moment of silence (respectful, self-touching, silence) at RedState.

I guess we'll be seeing Glenn Reynolds at the next Free Mumia March

Apparently, plotting to kill police officers is okay as long as you're on the same side of the spectrum as the G-O-P. Professor Ernest T. Bass, ESQ. is leading the way, as ever...

THE TIMING APPEARS CONVENIENT: FBI stages domestic raids.

Yeah, awful convenient of the police to raid these people's compound before they had the chance to kill, y'know, police.

IOKIYAR.

Well it's Holy Week at the Vatican

And we know what that means.

First there's Palm Sunday, then Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday.

And now, of course, Bad Touch Tuesday.

My inner Captain Renault is shocked, SHOCKED!!!

Who would have thought that the gentlemen at left and Sean Hannity would be accused of being frauds...yet again?

A potentially damaging scandal erupted today that implicates Fox News Channel personalities Sean Hannity and Oliver North in the worst kind of charitable fraud. According to complaints filed with the Federal Trade Commission and the IRS, the two right-wing icons have exploited American veterans for personal and partisan gain.

Is Iran involved? Is Hal Turner?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

In its IRS complaint against Freedom Alliance, CREW says that the group’s charitable tax status should be voided because it has engaged in "prohibited political activities" such as its annual "Freedom Cruise" with Republican politicians, including Newt Gingrich and Michael Steele.

Michael Steele "makes it rain" and Newt then leaves his last wife for the one who collects the most bills. It's quite a system.

This sure sounds like the ultimate summation of how conservatives have exploited the armed forces over the last ten years. And who better as representatives than Hannity and North?

Less the Party of "NO" than the Party of "Don't Stop!"

Michael Steele, the greatest RNC Chair ever when it comes to blogging material.

February RNC trip to California, for example, included a $9,099 stop at the Beverly Hills Hotel, $6,596 dropped at the nearby Four Seasons, and $1,620.71 spent at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex.

I believe we have a recreation of that last part.

As I'm never above the easy cheap shot

Just fill-in joke here in the name of ill-timed news stories:

CatholicTV debuted 3-D programs Tuesday in an effort to reach younger people and to make the faith message more vivid.

I believe a VIVID 3-D outreach to youth is neither a new nor popular effort by the Church.

Les Doucherables

Oh my, not only do we liberals with our liberal liberalism engaged in liberally cause dear sweet conservatives to act out violently, we make conservatives priests engage in the touching of a hairless penis.

So sayeth Ross Douthat (what is it with right-wingers and the embedded "t"?):

The permissive sexual culture that prevailed everywhere, seminaries included, during the silly season of the ’70s deserves a share of the blame, as does that era’s overemphasis on therapy.

Um, yeah.

I guess the IRA is to blame for the physical abuse generations of Irish kids suffered -- and Beider Meinhof was totally working with the Ratzinger Brothers in Munich.

Something tells me that Ross's method of dealing with pedophile priests is the way he thinks his old man would have dealt with catching Ross smoking. Just make the offender spend a couple hours in a room with a couple dozen naked 9-year old boys. That'll cure him.

Oh, and it would work too. One Chunky Reese Witherspoon cured Ross of heterosexual hedonism (btw what happened to the original Brad DeLong link for that article?)

Shorter Grand Dragon Breitbart

Not linking directly:

No small group of black men should ever be allowed to trod unmolested through a large group of white people.

The nerve, the uppity fucking nerve!

What will the liberals make them do next?

April 19th is just around the corner -- a big day for militia groups everywhere, it being their Pearl Harbor/9-11/Remember the Maine Day. The day of the Waco Raid and the Murrah Building Bombing. It's Whack-Job Mardi Gras. SHOW US YOUR CLIPS!

But, sadly, some group of Glenn Beck listeners (and Gold-Line investors) had their Tea Party ruined.

...the target of the raid was a Christian militia group called the Hutaree. The group proclaims on a Web site that it is "preparing for the end time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive."

Because the Pope is certainly not holding up his end.

Ah, the Hutaree Militia...and yes, there's a videotape of their awesome training...just like that Al Qaeda tape we see all the time, except instead of monkey bars there is an old Buick.

This was naturally, found on MySpace. Rupert Murdoch's brilliant purchase that continues to exist to serve pornstars, Hannity listeners, and people who cannot be within a 1000 feet of an elementary school. Sorry for being redundant.

Have fun storming the castle people.

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Are You Reading "The Bobblespeak Translations"?

You're smart and appreciate a good laugh, so of course you are. A taste (from today's "Meet the Press"):

David Gregory: Do we put Obama Mt. Rushmore now?

John Meacham: this changes the narrative that we
talk about

David Gregory: oh I see

John Meacham: it also proves pundits are largely stupid

David Gregory: so sad

John Meacham: it’s also possible cutting gas lines and attempted murder is an overreaction to giving people health insurance

Mike Murphy: this bill couldn’t pass a hypothetical non-existent GOP Congress

David Gregory: wow

The "Want some Woodstock"

Oh man, if "Dubya" was still around that would be a better pithy description.

Perhaps "Burning Men" would work better?

In any case, I'm sure by now a crowd of a few thousand, while FoxNews shows ONLY tight shots, has been represented as the biggest crowd EVAH!

The real Woodstock attracted about 300,000, which by Teabagger math would surpass the population of the Earth...as well as the Earth's age in years.

But let me tell ya', Sarah Palin mispronouncing misspelled words on her palm is not exactly the equivalent of the Who singing "See Me, Feel Me" as the Sun comes up. But those hundreds of Uncle Ernies and Cousin Kevins (that are not in the Catholic Clergy) do get excitement at her feet.

Perpetual Overcompensation

Shorter Bill Kristol:

"WAR! Good God, y'all. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?!

Well, me actually, it's quite awesome for me."

Third times the charm. You know it's going to be a Kristol column when it starts out with a Hitler analogy.

Tears of a Clown

From David Frum's now-infamous "Waterloo" post:

I’ve been on a soapbox for months now about the harm that our overheated talk is doing to us. Yes it mobilizes supporters — but by mobilizing them with hysterical accusations and pseudo-information, overheated talk has made it impossible for representatives to represent and elected leaders to lead …

Hmm. Now where do you suppose they learned the power of "overheated talk", "hysterical accusations", and "pseudo-information"?

NY Magazine, May 29, 2005:

[Dworkin had] been reaching out to other writers and had gone to dinner at Christopher Hitchens and Carol Blue’s apartment, where Dworkin and Stoltenberg were joined by the former George W. Bush speechwriter David Frum and his wife, Danielle Crittenden. “Andrea had fun that night—she had wicked fun,” says Stoltenberg. They found common ground talking about how much they hated Bill Clinton and how they thought he was a rapist.

Frum is interesting only in that he's got the world's shortest memory. He hasn't changed his core values. Mister "Axis of Evil" is merely advocating less inflammatory, but no less pernicious, rhetoric to get the public to swallow them. He got fired because he was no longer useful (the Dollars, always the Dollars) to one wingnut think tank. Given his own history of overheated talk, hysterical accusations, and dissemination of pseudo-information, I put that in the "Reaping and Sowing" category.

One of his better rants

...some objectionable language and metaphors...

This about sums up their relevance

When Bishops start talk about threatening pro-choice Catholics with ex-communication or being banned from communion, this is the appropriate retort...via Mary Ann Sorrentino:

A quarter-century ago -- at a time when about 10 priests in Rhode Island had already been accused of sexually abusing children -- the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence tried to stop my then-14-year-old daughter from making her confirmation because of her mother's work with Planned Parenthood. When that conversation took place in our pastor's office (and was taped by me), I was also told not to come to the rail, since I'd been excommunicated for that work.

My reply?

"Let me understand this, Father. Because of my work with women at Planned Parenthood, you don't want me to come to the rail and take communion from the hands of a man who sexually abuses children? Is that what you're telling me, Father?"

The whole article is well-worth a read.

I was busy yesterday

Getting closer to mortality -- so I missed all the hubbub of the worst reunion tour since Loggins & Messina that Res & others were writing about.

Apparently, John McCain is combating JD Hayworth's lunacy by campaigning with a Dominatrix.



Where'd she get that flag pin...from outside a Perkins?

"My Offer is This: Nothing."

NYT: For Years, Deaf Boys Tried to Tell of Priest's Abuse

They were deaf, but they were not silent. For decades, a group of men who were sexually abused as children by the Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy at a school for the deaf in Wisconsin reported to every type of official they could think of that he was a danger, according to the victims and church documents.

They told other priests. They told three archbishops of Milwaukee. They told two police departments and the district attorney. They used sign language, written affidavits and graphic gestures to show what exactly Father Murphy had done to them. But their reports fell on the deaf ears of hearing people.

The GC and I (both still technically Catholic, by the way) were talking this evening and he said the following, which I think is all true (paraphrasing here, of course)...

Joey Rats will never step down. Ever. Get the thought out of your head. Because if he did, the Vatican will be broken. Whatever authority it still has -- and that authority remains considerable in parts of the world -- will crumble, and that simply will not be allowed. The worst that will happen to Ratzinger (or any number of other church creeps) is that they will become virtual prisoners inside the Vatican so as to elude some ambitious and enterprising little prosecutor from a place like Russia or China, where people aren't as squeamish as we are here about frog marching a guy in a clerical collar to a county lockup while he awaits trial. If anyone even alludes to it, the "Holy Father" will go Michael Corleone on whichever little Senator Geary had the temerity to suggest such a thing. Would you expect anything less of an institution that kicked Bernard Law upstairs to Mary Major? Joey Rats is as high as it gets. With nowhere to go but down, he isn't going anywhere.

That NYT article is sickening, by the way.

Guesses?

What did it take for McCain to get through this without flying into one of his patented Ragegasms? Bet he was flipping over couch cushions looking for strays from Cindy's old stash.

Update: Ooo, look. Sarah wore her leathers.

Country First!

And You Look Like One, Too!

Happy Birthday, Attaturk!

xxx...res

All that's left is an admission from Monsignor Alexander Butterfield that there's a tape

Oh dear, Pope Nixon just keeps having new information revealed:

The future Pope Benedict XVI was kept more closely apprised of a sexual abuse case in Germany than previous church statements have suggested, raising fresh questions about his handling of a scandal unfolding under his direct supervision before he rose to the top of the church’s hierarchy...

And here are today's classy words from Bill Donahue, aka Cousin Kevin to the Pope's Uncle Ernie:

The Church preaches an ethic of sexual restraint -- a profoundly countercultural idea -- so when a priest fails, it's tempting to highlight it. Human nature being what it is, that's understandable. But it's also immoral. Quite frankly, if sexual abuse is wrong, it should not matter what the identity of the abuser is. Selective justice is the highest form of injustice.

Yeah, as TS at Instaputz notes, to Bill Donahue criticizing the Church is a much greater injustice than abusing 200 deaf kids over a period of years.

Nice sense of proportion there a-hole.

I'll go with an even shorter Digby

The right-wing claims about how the left is causing them to be violent can be summed up as the most frequent line on "Cops":

"Bitch made me hit her"

Yeah, it is about that eloquent and about that morally fucked.

By the way, the latest update:

Cantor office incident, confirmed random unintentional shot fired off by Yosemite Sam impersonator. But the deliberately lie served it's purpose as it got saps in the media to suck it up so that they could proclaim "both sides do it" -- a theme that shall continue wherever David Gregory is allowed to speak.

Meanwhile,

Albemarle County fire marshals and the FBI have confirmed that the gas line cut at Congressman Tom Perriello's brother's house was cut intentional.

I tell ya'

When you wait to fill out your NCAA bracket until today, it's uncanny how many upsets you can pick. Take that autistic genius kid!

Have fun keeping your share of the TLC Swag from the Duggars

There were stories circulating this week that somehow super-grifter Sarah Palin's "alternative reality show" Baked Alaska was somehow going to end up on the Discovery Channel. The same channel that has given you "Planet Earth" and "Life" shows featuring the undeniable power of nature the evolutionary process -- was going to give you someone who thinks the first Kentucky Derby winner rode a Jesus-Horse.

But alas, you cannot schedule Sarah Palin before or after "Mythbusters" so Discovery shuttled her off to lesser-light TLC, the network that brings you such quality programming as 'Hoarding: Buried Alive', 'Little People, Big World', and the Duggars 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 and Counting. And it's great that Palin can come to TLC and save the network because the Duggars are just about out of cipherin' digits to figure out how many they've done birthed.

(pic from here)

Pop Quiz!

NYT:

Ending one of the fiercest lobbying fights in Washington, the Senate voted Thursday to force private commercial banks out of the federal student loan market, cutting off billions of dollars in profits in a sweeping restructuring of financial-aid programs and redirecting most of the money to new education initiatives. ...

Since the bank-based loan program began in 1965, commercial banks like Sallie Mae and Nelnet have received guaranteed federal subsidies to loan money to students, with the government assuming nearly all the risk. Democrats have long denounced the program, saying it fattened the bottom line for banks at the expense of students and taxpayers.

Said George Miller (D - CA) and chair of the House Education and Labor Committee:

“Why are we paying people to lend the government’s money and then the government guarantees the loan and the government takes back the loan?”

Said Lamar Alexander (R - TN) and former federal education secretary:

"The Democratic majority decided, well look, while we’re at it, let’s have another Washington takeover..."Let’s take over the federal student loan program.”

No doubt Senator Alexander is against a Washington takeover of Medicare, too.

Here's the Pop Quiz:

Lamar Alexander:
(a) stupid
(b) lying
(c) contemptuous of his constituents
(d) all of the above

Update on the Cantor office incident

It appears that there is a suspect in the shooting in the general vicinity of the Richmond Office of Virginia Representative Eric Cantor...

A preliminary investigation shows that a bullet was fired into the air and struck the window in a downward direction, landing on the floor about a foot from the window. The round struck with enough force to break the windowpane but did not penetrate the window blinds.

Based upon what is currently known of the incident, Richmond Police have put up an artist's composite of the likely perpetrator of this dastardly act of gravity:





How this moron (Cantor, not the estimable Mr. Sam) isn't being pointed and laughed at after this ridiculous effort at self-pity only reflects just how in the bag the media is.

Keeping it KKKlassy

I'm not a big fan of Bart Stupak, obviously, but he joins the fast growing number of Democratic Congresspersons to receive disgusting threats of violence, slurs, and actual acts of violence.

"Congressman Stupak, you baby-killing mother f***er... I hope you bleed out your a**, got cancer and die, you mother f***er," one man says in a message to Stupak.

"There are millions of people across the country who wish you ill," a woman says in a voicemail, "and all of those thoughts that are projected on you will materialize into something that's not very good for you."

CBS News also obtained copies of faxes sent to Stupak, which include racial epithets used in reference to President Obama and show pictures of nooses with Stupak's name.

Fortunately, on this score at least, I'm just a bit too young to have a memory of the 1960s, but you cannot be a liberal and think of the litany of violence done to figures on the left in that era. John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and Martin Luther King were all shot down in their primes.

Tim McVeigh was certainly not on the left-side of the political sphere.

All Presidents get threats, but the deluge of threats and racial epithets against Obama have me, and should have every American, concerned about his safety.

This is getting fucking ridiculous, if the GOP doesn't stand up and decry this stuff LOUDLY AND THOROUGHLY they are eventually going to have blood on their hands.

But, of course, they won't -- and when it occurs they will do what many of them already do, blame the victim.

If I was in the motion picture business...

All my movies would be in 3-D.

They'd be shown in 2-D, and the character development would be 1-D.

So add it all up...and I'd be Michael Bay with few explosions.

Good to see

John Boehner and John McCain hitting the town together.

Alert Harry Turtledove

Because it appears that we know what would happen if Nixon became Pope ... or if a whole "College of Nixons" ran the Clergy:

Top Vatican officials — including the future Pope Benedict XVI — did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church, according to church files newly unearthed as part of a lawsuit.

This, of course, is after several years of American Church authorities not acting on the case.

And these are the folks that dictate ... and sadly, have the political muscle ... over reproductive rights in major health care legislation because of their "moral authority".

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Pet experiences FoxNews on Monday

By Jove, I think Roger Aisles (the good one)

Has got it exactly right!

One suspects that [Slate Asshole Mickey] Kaus was canned by Slate but allowed to cover up his termination by disguising it as a career change.

Tucker Carlson's modified hole in the popcorn trick gets a dry run...and hump before Easter

Honestly on a panel of "election" pundits, not only is this guy a lightweight amongst lightweights, but christ-on-a-ritz...


(click to enlarge, something Carlson only dreams he could do in real-life for certain items)

White Capri Pants (it's Old Navy so I guess Tucker considers himself a veteran now); droopy blue socks; and using a Starbucks Tall-Grande as a stand-in for his child-sized fish-stick?

(via Balloon Juice)

Yeah, I sure miss that guy

Look at this guy, continuing his neurosis about other human beings and their "prop-like" nature.

And, this of course, is part of a pattern.

2000:

(sorry about the mediaite thing and its intrusive ads.)

Less Praying more thinking

I admit, years ago I took the Wonderlich Test for shits and giggles in the same fashion NFL players do and scored really high on it, not Ivy League (sans George Bush) high, but not too shabby -- more like Big-10 university high, like a 39 or something. Then I ran the 40 yard dash and did it in like 6.9 seconds, did no pull ups, and fainted during the cone drill and just like that my NFL dream was over (plus I hadn't played since 8th grade and sucked then -- oh, and all this was done in someone's backyard).

Still, I take some satisfaction in this:

At the Scouting Combine, the Wonderlic exam is administered to players in groups. The 12-minute test is preceded by some brief instructions and comments from the person administering the test.

Per a league source, after the person administering the test to [Tim] Tebow's group had finished, Tebow made a request that the players bow their heads in prayer before taking the 50-question exam.

Said one of the other players in response: "Shut the f--k up." Others players in the room then laughed.

Tebow proceeded to score a 22 out of 50, which is slightly below average. So I scored more than Tim Tebow...and this is likely true both for the Wonderlich and in other ways.

What literary giants

Wingnut Welfare has wrought:

This legislation is a superconducting super collider of culture-war conflagrations.

That's "merit" scholar Jonah Goldberg who takes his wit from Oscar Mayer instead of Oscar Wilde.

Oh for the love of a small comb, get over yourself

Dear Tom Friedman, please shut the fuck up. Thank you.

...even though we still have so much more nation-building for America to do — from education to energy to environment to innovation to tax policy. That is why I want my own Tea Party. I want a Tea Party of the radical center.

Occasionally it does work

I know that the health care fight has and will continue to be difficult for Democrats -- after all we're the only ones even trying (sometimes half-assed, but half-hearted still beats no-heart at all).

But there are more than a few moments when having the Democrats in control does more than disappoint:

Jamie Leigh Jones claims she was raped by fellow Halliburton employees when she was working in Iraq in 2005...

Jones employment contract with Halliburton (now known as KBR) contained an arbitration clause that required "any and all personal injury claims' to be heard by an arbitrator. Jones eventually refused to arbitrate, wanting her lawsuit to be heard in court.

The Fifth Circuit eventually held that some of Jones' claims did indeed belong in court because the assault was not related to her employment. KBR had appealed the decision to the Supreme Court, but after initial briefing, KBR withdrew its appeal on March 11.

Why? Sen. Al Franken! Franken successfully advocated a prohibition that keeps contractors receiving federal defense funds from forcing employees to arbitration to resolve certain claims, including civil rights and harassment disputes.

And Franken has done more than just this, he taught Joe Biden how to use profanity effectively.

Thank you Al Franken.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Peppers of Mass Destruction

The weirdest thing I've read today (so far): Indian military to weaponize world's hottest chili.

Shout Out

To my fellow American of Italian descent, Nancy Pelosi (née D'Alesandro), who I've been calling Nancy "Wellington" Pelosi all week.

You done good, Madam Speaker.

David Gregory -- Idiot

Just now on MSNBC that in challenging health-care reform legally

"Republicans will argue you cannot be forced to buy insurance".

-- Yes, this philosophy has really worked for those of us in regards to auto insurance.

Gregory is the laziest talking point machine alive -- now kissing the ass of "President" John McCain.

But I won't cry for the wasted years 'Cos you ain't worth the salt in my tears

Heckuva Job Media

Well, for FoxNews I guess it's "Mission Accomplished"

On the heels of health care, a new Harris poll reveals Republican attitudes about Obama:

* 67 percent of Republicans (and 40 percent of Americans overall) believe that Obama is a socialist.

* 57 percent of Republicans (32 percent overall) believe that Obama is a Muslim

* 45 percent of Republicans (25 percent overall) agree with the Birthers in their belief that Obama was "not born in the United States and so is not eligible to be president"

* 38 percent of Republicans (20 percent overall) say that Obama is "doing many of the things that Hitler did"

* Scariest of all, 24 percent of Republicans (14 percent overall) say that Obama "may be the Antichrist."

The degree of stupidity spewed out by Glenn Beck and Limbaugh and countered by no actual intention to state plain facts by the media is truly frightening.

It's the kind of knuckle-dragging vs. foot-dragging that gets people called racial slurs, toss rocks, and threaten -- and eventually carry out violence.

...but using a dictionary, apparently too "extreme"

Via Balloon Juice, the note that was attached to a brick thrown through the local office window of New York Democratic Representative Louise Slaughter.



Genius.

Now local TV station 13-WHAM reports that Slaughter received a death threat: “Assassinate is the word they used…toward the children of lawmakers who voted yes.”

They just had to say it, not spell it, as that might have preemptively caused their brains to blow up. But yes, the crowd that likes to chant "Baby Killer" at pro-choice people is rooting for children to be killed. They're ...JUST...THAT...AWESOME!

And Mistermix's post adds that the guy who led on the cheering and is now half-heartedly backing away from using violence to prevent the Government taking over health care...

...is on Social Security Disability.

As I was saying, G-E-N-I-U-S!

Because it is an otherwise realistic depiction of 18th Century Seafaring

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Will it go before or after 'Mythbusters'?

Because the "faith" brigades will have to change channels quick.

Sources say Discovery Communications has edged out rival A&E Networks in the bidding for the project, titled "Sarah Palin's Alaska."

Old Man just yells

Oh deary me, John McCain says the Democrats are just going to have to negotiate against each other for the rest of the year.

So, Mr. "America First" as full of it as ever, and it's just another day ending in "Y".

Meet the Republicans

Lost over the last few days in a deluge of imbecilic comments by the John Birch Society and the Council of Conservative Citizens Republicans, was this completely over-the-top and unintentionally hilarious statement of Georgia Republican Paul Broun:

If ObamaCare passes, that free insurance card that’s in people’s pockets is gonna be as worthless as a Confederate dollar after the War Between The States — the Great War of Yankee Aggression.

"The Great War of Yankee Aggression"? Really, that's how you are still referring to it? Who the hell is this guy, Theodore Bilbo? (worst hobbit ever -- even the Sackville Bagginses hated that guy [ed. "NERD!"])

But if nothing else, Broun has a history of profound thoughts...

While watching an NFL game, Broun became entranced by a “gentleman with this big type hair wig on” holding a “John 3:16” sign. “As I sat there in my office that fall trying to figure out life, I picked up the Bible and read John 3:16,” Broun said. He suddenly transformed into a true believer, a cadre of the Christian right.

Anyone who grew up in the 70s and 80s and watched sports remembers that guy.

And, as Digby noted a while ago, that ubiquitous guy in the wig with the John 3:16 banner -- is now doing life in prison on multiple kidnapping and terrorism charges.

So he certainly makes an inspirational symbol for a Republican Paul Broun.

(cross-posted at Firedoglake]

That's Life

I watched a little bit of Life last night. Spectacular viewing, but I'll wait for David Attenborough's narrated version to come out on blu-ray so I can enjoy it without being Americanized as some marmot is turned into Mickey Mouse ("nice marmot").

Gawker sums this up:

2. Animals Are Not People: I'm sorry, but the hippo is not going off "in search of love." He is going to try to find a lady to mate with because he has a biological imperative to pass along his genes. Stop trying to make him out to be Hugh Grant in a romantic comedy. He is just a big, stupid hippo who wants to fuck.

Y'know like Rush Limbaugh in San Jose, Costa Rica.

Since I never watch FoxNews...

Just wondering, has Steve Doocy taken a hostage yet?

"No we can't"

Having hit the trifecta of slurs ( "Nigger" , "Faggot", and "Wetback") they must have been disappointed to miss seeing a lynching:

For most of the day, the Tea Party demonstrators had been the most vocal, chanting “We the people,” “No, no, no,” and “kill the bill.” But as it became clear that Democrats had won the votes of key anti-abortion lawmakers, the Tea Party protesters lost their enthusiasm, and their numbers shrank.

They were quickly replaced by those who'd supported the health care overhaul as well as hundreds of demonstrators favoring immigration legislation.

That must have coincided with FoxNews coverage ending.

At this location last night

Some poor undocumented alien teen was applying the most regrettable stress-relief of his life, even if it came with a payoff of several hundred bucks an hour.

He'll never go to the Home Depot parking lot again.

Before we get too angry

You have to remember, amongst male Republicans in Texas, "Baby Killer" is what they yell at themselves in shame after another furious round of masturbation.

And who masturbates more to C-Span than a conservative Republican Congressman? There's a reason you don't want to go near Brian Lamb with a blacklight people.

I had to go to bed last night

What time did Boehner start crying and when did he stop, was it when Nancy Pelosi hit him with Gallagher's Mallet?

What John Cole Said

Classic:

BTW, two hundred thousand people showed up in DC today to march for immigration reform. Using Michelle Malkin and teabagger math, that is like eleventy billion people.

The Coming Dip in the Unemployment Rate

So where do I apply for one of the new death panel gigs?

So he's only got the one ball...

Just like Hitler.

They have the votes -- they're Ramming it through (or is it Rahming it?)

According to the various news networks Nancy Pelosi has done what effective Speakers do, and obtained the votes to pass the version of health, nay, insurance, nay some form of reform through the House today (we'll find out if this is really the case later). If so, I guess this becomes a great day for Patriotism, or Centrism, or Capitalism, or Facism, or Socialism, or Marxism, or perhaps just Jism -- it's so hard to follow when you have Glenn Beck out there and are also a writer for FDL.

In any case, I'm sure that now nothing bad will ever happen to anyone again for all time.

Whew.

(Of course, now is the time that meteorite, aliens, and/or reinvented Mayan mythology will finally strike the Earth, like Hollywood tells me is supposed to happen when there's a black President. Dammit!!!)

In the meantime, as the GOP screams about RAMMING things, it falls upon me, to mark this occasion with the greatest sports video ever produced by the human race (but not as good as anything produced by voles).

MATLOCK!!!

In today's episode:

From what I've managed not to notice, divided government would be AWESOME, let's all experiment via my calcified wetdreams.

Not that you'll ever know it

At least in the 20s they kept in good order, like a right-winger should.

But this weekend there are also protesters in Washington -- against the war, and for tolerant immigration reform.

THOUSANDS of them. Far more than are "teabagging it up" outside the capital complex.

And yet, you'd never really know it would you? You literally have to do a few searches to find something mentioning them.

No, all attention goes to the morons who managed to use words that the Citizens of Rock Ridge and Governor William Lepetomane were too classy to say.

Calling John Lewis a "nigger" is a little bit on par with calling Jesus a "kike". Add in some spitting on another black Congressman and yelling out that Barney Frank is a "faggot" and you get the Teabaggers in all their dubious glory.

Congrats GOP you let 'em be created.

It's 6 in the morning

Where's the socialist paradise John Boehner promised me would be at hand after the vote?

...I mean at least Rush Limbaugh got the fuck out last night, like the last chopper out of Saigon (well, maybe not a good analogy for he and his cyst) right?

It was already an exciting day, getting a chance to meet his wealthy banker heroes

And then it became the best day ever, when Boehner proudly showed he had struck gold!

(AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

Six Years of Sucking

Last Thursday was the Sixth Anniversary of this blog (at this address, and the HTML disaster that was at www.risinghegemon.blogspot.com). Over that time, we've put up thousands of posts, I've probably put up about 10,000 or so.

Which is pretty good considering I used up most of my material by June 2005.

So thanks to all of you for reading; thanks to Res, DeDurkheim and Champollion for their contributions as well -- and for decreasing the suckiness.

Summing up CNN's Daytime Programming

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The SINGULARITY of stupid has occurred and someone published it.



Remember this day -- for it is the day that the two dumbest people to serve in Congress since Theodore Bilbo and his reflection -- were allowed to write a joint op-ed in Politico.

My only question is -- how did this not run FIRST in the Washington Post?

File Under "STFU and Go Away"

Rice and Greenspan: two colossal failures who have been missed by no one.

I'm sorry, you claim to be more patriotic than me?

Glenn Greenwald lets Ernest T. Bass experience the full Glennzilla -- and he most richly deserves it.

For years that turd has been implying those of us who questioned the wisdom of Operation Clustfuck of being traitors and hoping for the deaths of American soldiers.

So what does Instawanker blog forth:

If I were the Israelis, not only would I bomb Iran, but I'd do so in such a way as to create as much trouble for China, Russia, Europe and the United States as possible.

How many American troops would get killed in Iraq and Afghanistan if his little dream scenario would come to be?

God, what an asshole.

Whoopsy

Neocons, not exactly popular the world over -- though you'd never know it from the cable news or the WaPo editorial page.

Let the laughter begin:

Israelis view Obama favorably, mixed on Netanyahu

Jon Stewart

A national treasure:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Conservative Libertarian
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

"Anderson Cooper"

Who is shockingly, only marginally more intelligent than human doorstop Wolf Blitzer?

And yet, they still managed to lower the collective IQ of the place by hiring Erick Erickson.

Remember kids

Your NCAA bracket sucks because Jesus hates you as much as the "Prince of Peace" hated social justice.

By the way, I understand that Fred Hiatt and Howard Kurtz proclaimed that Obama didn't seem to enjoy filling out his bracket enough this year.

Lines I wish I had thought of

Last night's '30 Rock'

"GE, we brought great things to life, and bad things to Chinese Rivers"

Wanker on Wanker violence

Oh Dear, incredibly racist generally fact-free blogger Debbie "Muslims in my Alpha-Bits" Schlussel accuses fact-free racist Sean Hannity's abysmal charity concerts of being fraudulent (and not because they promise entertainment).

I say settle this in the Octagon!

Poor Bart

Sad sack superdouche Bart Stupak says his lying and moaning about health care reform and abortion has made his life hell, why people have been calling and mocking him.

Tell it to the families of Barnett Slepian and George Tiller, jackass.

Why Alex Chilton Mattered

Someone asked me today, who was Alex Chilton and what did he do anyway besides write a song that was used by That 70's show? ("In the Street)"  Challenge accepted.

Alex Chilton mattered:

1. Because he merged soulful and pop singing that did not insult the listener's intelligence.  An off-kilter delivery that made the listener feel the pain or joy or ambivalence that the singer was feeling.  And he could do that when he was an adolescent singing in The Box Tops ("Cry like a Baby", "Soul Deep") as well as in Big Star and later as a solo artist.

2. Because he could write an incredibly aching teenage lyric that again did not insult anyone's intelligence. (listen to "Thirteen" or "I'm in Love with a Girl" or "September Gurls")  And the raw emotion in those songs was real.  No auto-tune or computer manipulation of his voice was necessary.

3. Because he did not have to scream and shout and yell until polyps grew on his vocal chord, he could convey teenage angst with a simple guitar chord and a vulnerable delivery that sent shivers down your spine. (Just close your eyes and listen to "I'm in love with a girl")

4. Because he did not take himself too seriously yet understood that he mattered to an entire generation of post-punk musicians (The Replacements, The Lemonheads, Husker Du, Eliot Smith, R.E.M.) and fans after Chilton himself had given up on the music industry. (listen to "No Sex")

5. Because he showed pop musicians that you do not have to make music in LA or New York.  You can make music near a home that matters to you. (see Ardent Studios)

6. Because some days at some times in rough situations - a beautiful guitar part reminds us that maybe, just maybe music can make the world a better place for just a little while.

7. Because he realized that sometimes when you are trying to make music, you need to fight the label rather than trying to create the next hit.  Chilton famously refused to write music that the executives at the labels demanded and instead recorded music that mattered to him and his fans. 

There are many more reasons - we can talk about his work with The Replacements and The Posies but does it matter?  Either you have experienced the music and then you understand.  Or you didn't and don't.  So, go get #1 Record, Radio City, Sister Lovers/Third, High Priest, and 19 Years - just sit back and enjoy.

"Alex Chilton" - The Replacements - from Please to Meet Me

If he was from Venus, would he feed us with a spoon?
If he was from Mars, wouldn't that be cool?
Standing right on campus, would he stamp us in a file?
Hangin' down in Memphis all the while.

(chorus:)
Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton when he comes'round
They sing "I'm in love. What's that song?
I'm in love with that song."

Cerebral rape and pillage in a village of his choice.
Invisible man who can sing in a visible voice.
Feeling like a hundred bucks, exchanging good lucks face to face.
Checkin' his stash by the trash at St. Mark's place.

(chorus)

I never travel far, without a little Big Star
Runnin' 'round the house, Mickey Mouse and the Tarot cards.
Falling asleep with a flop pop video on.
If he was from Venus, would he meet us on the moon?
If he died in Memphis, then that'd be cool, babe.

The One Reason

...You should not discuss politics with your colleagues is not because you'll discover that you're on opposite sides of the fence, but because you'll discover just how ignorant they are. It's scary.

"Who cares what a bunch of broads thinks?"

That's pretty much the summation of Bart Stupak's reaction to the Catholic Nuns organization's breaking from the Bishops to endorse health care reform.

“When I’m drafting right to life language, I don’t call up the nuns.” He says he instead confers with other groups including “leading bishops, Focus on the Family, and The National Right to Life Committee.”

This can mean only one thing...

Nobody could have anticipated

Sorry, but if I hadn't been filling out my Census form, I could have had this posted a minute earlier...

Jim Cramer is Still Very Bad with Numbers:

It seems that TheStreet.com, a financial website co-founded and chaired by Cramer, is losing a ton of money and will be filing its annual numbers a little late to the Securities and Exchange Commission, according to a report in the Post. So the SEC is taking a look at Cramer's magic numbers.

Golly, the market is up about 30% in the last year, and somehow Jim Cramer's stock tips STILL lost a shit load of cash.

Is he going to be extra sweaty and whiny about Jon Stewart again? For it was just over one year ago...

For that inevitable and repeated moment

When alleged Constitution lovers Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann suggest the Census is some thing that Obama just came up with...

Article 1, Section 2:

[An] Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.

Just preparing.

I just filled out my census form...ooh, 60 seconds of my life I could have spent on porn sites or Gawker.

How will I ever recover?

Kagans by Proxy

Ah, the Netanyahu family, keepin' it classy with a "K" take it away Brother-in-Law:

It's not that Obama doesn't like Bibi. He doesn't like the nation of Israel...

When there is an anti-Semitic president in the United States, it is a test for us and we have to say: We will not concede. We are a nation dating back 4,000 years, and you in a year or two will be long forgotten. Who will remember you? But Jerusalem will dwell on forever.

Imagine him on with Glenn Beck where the latter makes him wear that shitty Christmas Sweater.

Well, that sucks

Alex Chilton dies at 59...and a little bit more of my awkward years (sorry, my pre-awkward years, when I was a mere amateur) passes on.

Fanfare for the Common Asshole

If you could play Aaron Copland's classic tribute to the ordinary citizen using only one hand and your armpit -- you might approach the intellectual quality of Megan McArdle's discourse on public behavior.

You may have already seen this...Ohio teabaggers show kindness and affection toward an individual with parkinson's disease, obviously influenced by noted humanitarian Rush Limbaugh:

To be sure, the people mocking the counter-protester come across as louts. But their behavior doesn't exactly seem to be out of bounds by the standards of protest and counterprotesters...No matter how frail his condition, could the fellow on the ground possibly have been seriously endangered by having two bills hurled his way?

I'd certainly be willing to take such harsh treatment from the nice folks at Progress Ohio.

Yes, mocked, abused and patronized for a serious disability or illness is the price you pay for not being "put down" or something in Megan's libertarian paradise. Awesome.

Megan is willing to have people throw money at her in Columbus, Ohio? She could likely find the perpetrators of this abuse here -- so have at it McArdle..

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Follow-up: Taibbi & Pierce at the Mark Twain House

Just remembered that I meant to follow-up on this. Anyway, The GC and I drove to Hartford with a mutual friend in this nor'easter from which the tri-state is still trying to recover. It wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done and when we got back to The GC's place at about 1 AM and saw the condition of the neighborhood I think we both realized that we'd lucked out, but I digress.

I really enjoyed the tour of the Mark Twain House. If you're ever near Hartford, you should check it out. The house is lovely and our docent, Mallory, was entertaining and chock full of fun facts about Mr. Clemens and his family. I was genuinely impressed when told I was standing the billiards room where The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (among others) was written and I realized that I really need to read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I also saw this painting of a cat in a ruff, which I picked up in postcard form and mailed off to my plushie-loving pal. Did you know that Harriet Beecher Stowe lived across the way, too? The block parties must have been interesting.

Anyway, enjoyed the conversation, which was moderated by Colin McEnroe, who's got a lovely voice in addition to an understated Yankee wit. The guests talked about journalism (especially campaign journalism), among other topics. Pierce mentioned that he thought that sports journalists these days were able to serve their readers better than political journalists are, and given some of the horseshit you read from outfits like Politico you know what he's talking about. Taibbi talked about how utterly surreal (and maddening) it is to cover a campaign and not only do I believe him, but I think if I ever find myself covering a political campaign that I will do at least some of it on mushrooms, too.

One thing about these sorts of events always bugs me -- and this has absolutely nothing to do with Taibbi or Pierce -- is that when the inevitable Q&A arrives, the audience winds up beseeching the guests with cries of, "What can we do?" Why do people ask journalists this question? It's not that Messrs Taibbi and Pierce don't necessarily know what to do (maybe they do), but that's not why I read them or attend their talks. I do so for their reporting, for their ability to flesh out stories in a way that the simple-minded establishment hacks at, say, the NYT, refuse to do, and for their unique perspective. Do such skills and/or talents make journalists any better at prescriptions than anyone else? I read a profile of Noam Chomsky once in which his wife said that people always wanted to feel hopeful at the end of his talks. Given how depressing most of Chomsky's topics are, I can see that, but Chomsky's at least a part-time activist, so it makes more sense to ask him, "What do we do?"

Anyway, I'm quibbling. Saturday's was better than most of the Q&As I attend, which usually start with the moderator warning the audience not to make speeches and end immediately because the first question comes from some local nut who starts off by saying, "Before I get to my question I'd first like make a point on the Palestinian issue" or "I know you said no speeches, but I'd just like to say that there really are legitimate questions about the government's involvement in [insert historical calamity here]". I saw that happen at Town Hall in NYC at a Lawrence Wright talk once and at least half the audience (include yours truly) up and abandoned the joint before the woman had even got through one-third of her speech. I mean, her question.