Ask Dr. Attaturk July 23, 2005

Question No. 1:

Dear Doc A:

I'm an adult may in late middle ages. It appears that there is a possibility of some incarceration time for me in the near future. Do you think I can survive prison?

Thanks,

Scooter

Dear Scooter,

With a nickname like Scooter, I imagine you will like prison just fine. Who would ever think of making a guy with that nickname a prison biatch? Now, if you had a nickname like 'Turdblossom' I don't think things would be so rosy for you. If I were you, I'd memorize this phrase.

"I beg your pardon."


Question No. 2:

Dear Dr. A.J. Turkblossom:

I never said her name, all I said was that she was that guy's wife. He could have been an old fashioned mormon?

Thanks Buddy,

Unca Karl

Now Karl, you know that things don't always work that way. For example, if I said I was talking about "Satan's Stick Bitch" we'd all know I was talking about Ann Coulter. Although Beelzebub himself might file a well-merited defamation suit.