Monday, November 28, 2005

Attaturk's Kids

Pajamabananarama Media has been having a rough beginning it appears, and with more than three million in bank notes out there, I am quite worried that Roger Simon will have to turn to his natural vocation, drafting porn scripts.

We cannot have that. After all, as misguided and deluded as they are; as vindictive and jejune, we simply cannot allow fellow members of the world snide blogosphere go loudly into that good night.

No, we must find a way for them to succeed.

Why you ask?

Because dammit, daddy needs sources of material!!

How long, I ask you, can I survive on a fifty-percent diet of "gee Kathryn Lopez sure is fat" jokes?

Another five years, tops!

Atta J. Turk is bloggin' for the long haul folks, that $150 a year I make from this here bloggy blog has to be preserved so that I can maintain my jet-set lifestyle.

Therefore, it is time to consider holding a Jerry Lewis-like telethon for these unfortunates. For a brain is not just a terrible thing to waste, it also a tragedy for it not to exists above the centers of aggression. We'll pick an appropriate holiday, like -- the day after Kwanzaa, or perhaps Kwanzaa itself, given the sterling civil rights record of such individuals as Michelle Maglalangalang, that would seem appropriate, no?

Picture the scene:

After being on the air for 20 hours, 54 minutes, and having raised a grand total of $9.23 for Roger Simon, Inc. to buy a clue; Atta J. Turk with slicked down hair, cigarette in hand and an ill-fitting tux, face bloated from prescription steroids, after thanking my co-host Ed McMahon, I mean Ann Althouse, croaks out the following...

Post on,
Post on,
And you'll never blog alone...

You'll never blog alone...

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