We cannot have that. After all, as misguided and deluded as they are; as vindictive and jejune, we simply cannot allow fellow members of the world snide blogosphere go loudly into that good night.
No, we must find a way for them to succeed.
Why you ask?
Because dammit, daddy needs sources of material!!
How long, I ask you, can I survive on a fifty-percent diet of "gee Kathryn Lopez sure is fat" jokes?
Another five years, tops!
Atta J. Turk is bloggin' for the long haul folks, that $150 a year I make from this here bloggy blog has to be preserved so that I can maintain my jet-set lifestyle.
Therefore, it is time to consider holding a Jerry Lewis-like telethon for these unfortunates. For a brain is not just a terrible thing to waste, it also a tragedy for it not to exists above the centers of aggression. We'll pick an appropriate holiday, like -- the day after Kwanzaa, or perhaps Kwanzaa itself, given the sterling civil rights record of such individuals as Michelle Maglalangalang, that would seem appropriate, no?
Picture the scene:
After being on the air for 20 hours, 54 minutes, and having raised a grand total of $9.23 for Roger Simon, Inc. to buy a clue; Atta J. Turk with slicked down hair, cigarette in hand and an ill-fitting tux, face bloated from prescription steroids, after thanking my co-host Ed McMahon, I mean Ann Althouse, croaks out the following...
And you'll never blog alone...
You'll never blog alone...