Random Encounters with The Jewish McLovin

About an hour ago, I was walking down 42nd Street on my way to the train, when a woman in front of me dropped a somewhat official looking piece of paper. She didn't know she'd dropped it, though, so I picked it up and called, "Miss! Miss!" She turned around, I gave her the paper, she thanked me, and took off. Meanwhile, this twenty-something kid wearing glasses, a backpack, and a yarmulke sidles up to me...

HIM: "Hey! Good job!"
ME: "Um, thanks!"
HIM: "Jewish people call what you did a 'mitzvah'".
ME: "Sure, I'm familiar with the term."
HIM: "That's your mitzvah for the day!"
ME: "Thanks". (Didn't really know what else to say.)
HIM: "People think I look like McLovin. Do you know McLovin"?
ME: "Sure".
HIM: "Check it! Check it! Yeah! Fake ID! Fake ID!" (Imitates the McLovin thing you see at about 2:10 here in same high pitched voice while doing the same little dance.)
ME: (speechless)
HIM: "Take it easy! Keep up with the mitzvahs!" (Kid smiles and descends into the IND station at Sixth Avenue.)

Pinpointing the moment it all started going down hill for GM

Well thank goodness we're making progress now

Ugh!

Afghanistan's President, Hamid Karzai, has signed a law which "legalises" rape, women's groups and the United Nations warn. Critics claim the president helped rush the bill through parliament in a bid to appease Islamic fundamentalists ahead of elections in August.

Almost exactly four years ago:

On March 30, 2005, First Lady Laura Bush visited Afghanistan and spoke at the new Women's Teacher in Training Institute in Kabul. In her address, Mrs. Bush stated that Afghanistan is "only a few years removed from the rule of terrorists, when women were denied education and every basic
human right."

EVERYTHING. THEY. TOUCH. TURNS. TO. SHIT.

Even the shit gets shittier.

From the annals of the "Conservative" Arts Society

Isn't it time for Andrew Breitbart to get to work finishing his re-make of "The Day the Clown Cried" with an all midget cast?

Although I suppose it's "liberal Hollywood" that's keeping him from fulfilling his dream.

For those of you looking to modify your diminishing stock portfolio

Kendra Wilkinson (who is what, Carmen Electra for those too poor to like Carmen Electra as a poor man's, uh, Sandra Day O'Connor?) is truly going to make a difference:

"I'm coming out with my own stripper pole."

Which, I guess, is lucky because Glenn Beck has decided come out with his own paper currency.

The Least and the Doughiest

Oh, this is so totally unexpected -- there's no such thing as a Peter Principal in the conservative world:

Fox is beefing up its conservative ranks, recently hiring National Review's Jonah Goldberg

"Beefy" is about the nicest spin on one of the world's great natural pejoratives, Jonah Goldberg.

What God is up to

Last night's "Family Guy", funny:

Doubly sad

This last weekend...and continuing on the middle of this week, around the world various soccer matches are going on between national teams for qualifying for the 2010 World Cup.

Sadly, a tragedy occurred in the small western African nation of the Ivory Coast where the stands or a recently renovated stadium were completely filled to see their national team (led by Chelsea star and national hero Didier Drogba, I know it's un-American for me to know these things) played Malawi. The stands collapsed killing at least 22 people, and many of those deaths and undoubtedly many injuries occurred because security had no idea how to handle the pannicked crowd and fired tear-gas into the stands.

Incredibly and tastelessly the game went forward as scheduled -- all while people looked to see if their loved-ones were still alive.

Terrible.

But it's compounded by the rather moronic reporting of it by a blog which reported it, Sports by Brooks, which somehow associates problems in 2010 World Cup host South Africa to what happened in the Ivory Coast. Which is like decrying stadium construction in Winnipeg because of something that happened in Panama.



(pic AFP/Getty Images)

Meanwhile,

All but completely unmentioned over the weekend (unless, of course, it was actually completely unmentioned) by Television news was this:

As weeks passed after the capture without significant new confessions, the Bush White House and some at the CIA became convinced that tougher measures had to be tried. The pressure from upper levels of the government was "tremendous," driven in part by the routine of daily meetings in which policymakers would press for updates, one official remembered. "They couldn't stand the idea that there wasn't anything new," the official said. "They'd say, 'You aren't working hard enough.' There was both a disbelief in what he was saying and also a desire for retribution -- a feeling that 'He's going to talk, and if he doesn't talk, we'll do whatever.' "

So Ron Suskind, whose allegations of torture against the palpably insane and low level Al Qaeda laborer Abu Zubaida -- directly overseen at the highest levels by the Bush Administration, was 100% correct.

This charge was dismissed by the White House and politely virtually uncovered by CNN, MSNBC (Olbermann excepted) and, of course, FoxNews, at the time.

And now, of course, no one bothers to cover the past. So the whole thing goes not down the rabbit-hole, but into a place where few people but those who not only read but learn from history care. The country moves on and forgets. Because ignorance is how we roll.

Media

Yeah, Krugman's on the Newsweek cover. Nice, good for him.

It's not his fault, of course, but this will work out well for no one. John Cole sums it up perfectly:

CNN’s “Your Money” segment earlier today featured them reading two paragraphs of Krugman trashing the bank plan and then spent the next five minutes letting wingnut WSJ economist Stephen Moore trash the plan. This is working out well.

It's not that the "left" should just support Obama no matter what, because following around "Dear Leader" is both a sucker's game and what the GOP does.

But don't be naive and think that the set up is like the 1930s and that criticism from the left will necessarily pull the President in that direction, because the media-filter of the modern era doesn't care about such "distinctions", it all becomes one mass contest of critics vs. President. Ironically, the personality cult is reinforced by the media to facilitate it all. It's all about conflict and all conflict is the same. Is that fair, no. Is that how it should be, no. Is that how it is? Sadly, yes. It doesn't help that "the left", despite being responsible for virtually all social and economic progress in this country, has been made synonymous with goofy and frivolous in the broadcast media. While all those folks who want to bomb the brown people until the color bounces are never off the boob tube.

Hell, Pat Buchanan gets to defend Hitler and Germany for WWII and nothing happens, Ward Churchill wasn't even on television and he was drumbeaten into infamy.

The lesson learned via cable television is this. Paul Krugman criticizes Obama and it becomes transformed into Steven Moore's libertarian world of magic ponies, non-fattenting brownies, and lithe pixies with oral-fixations.

In case you were wondering

And you almost certainly were not. Rush Limbaugh is still an ass -- a gigantic pilonidal one:

GOP leader Rush Limbaugh wants to change the word "dike" because it makes him uncomfortable when talking about the flooding in N. Dakota

Fargo is probably one of the draft-dodging, thrice-married, drug addicts most loyal audiences too.

Only about a decade behind the internets

I've found that the best use of my Netflix account is to rent documentaries. I'm not the world's biggest movie guy, like them, just don't obsess over them. Same way about music.

And lately, I've been on a David Attenborough jag. Watched all of the Life of Mammals and am now half-way through the Life of Birds. Now anyone who has seen these shows already knows that in the latter, there is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen or heard involving the "Superb Lyre Bird" a native of Australia. But, like I said, I'm a decade behind -- and I know this, not only because this show is about a decade or more old, but this youtube clip has been seen about 3 million times when you add up all the various submissions.

Nevertheless, for those of you who haven't seen it, watch this, it is like nothing you've ever seen or heard -- especially if you are a decade behind the times -- aka living in Iowa.



Kind of sad though that the bird was mimicking chain saws and car alarms -- and indication its patch of forest was getting a lot smaller than it used to be.

I agree

Bitching and moaning for bitching and moanings' sake.

I hate frickin' "rule" by analogy.

Having said that, let me give you an analogy.

I also have been using CF light-bulbs for three years now. I've never had a dud, I've never had one burn-out. NEVER.

Let's see

Start an illegitimate war based on false evidence that kills hundreds of thousands and cost the nation more than $2 trillion. You are welcome at Notre Dame. No problem.

Carry out campaign promises to allow embryonic research (as opposed to tossing embryos in the trash can) and be in favor of reproductive choice. Well then, we must let K-Lo rule our world.

Once again, I say, when Notre Dame decides it will not recruit that baptist/muslim/buddhist kid from Georgia that runs a 4.35 forty and whose girlfriend just had the abortion, I'll start to worry about their convictions.

Meanwhile, we find that the protest comes from those with a giant axe to grind:

Bob Reish, the student body president and a graduating senior, said there is a "general excitement" about Obama's visit, although he is aware there are people on both sides of the issue.

As of 2 p.m. Thursday, The Observer, the student newspaper, had received 612 letters about Obama's appearance -- 313 from alumni and 299 from current students.

Seventy percent of the alumni letters opposed having Obama giving the speech, while 73 percent of student letters supported his appearance. Among the 95 seniors who wrote letters, 97 percent supported the president's invitation.

I wonder what the rate was of several colleges having to endure Bush's botched teleprompterings would have been?

Quite Enjoyable

Last Wednesday Jake DeSantis an AIG Financial Products Planner who got himself three-quarters of a million in bonus AFTER taxes wrote a primordial shriek of a column in the NY Times.

It was promptly hailed by many of our great Wall Street Cheerleaders and bathed in Larry Kudlow's "coca-dile tears".

Matt Taibbi is around to have none of it:

DeSantis has a few major points. They include: 1) I had nothing to do with my boss Joe Cassano's toxic credit default swaps portfolio, and only a handful of people in our unit did; 2) I didn't even know anything about them; 3) I could have left AIG for a better job several times last year; 4) but I didn't, staying out of a sense of duty to my poor, beleaguered firm, only to find out in the end that; 5) I would be betrayed by AIG senior management, who promised we would be rewarded for staying, but then went back on their word when they folded in highly cowardly fashion in the face of an angry and stupid populist mob.

I have a few responses to those points. They are 1) Bullshit; 2) bullshit; 3) bullshit, plus of course; 4) bullshit. Lastly, there is 5) Boo-Fucking-Hoo. You dog.

AIGFP only had 377 employees. Those 400-odd folks received almost $3.5 billion in compensation in the last seven years, a very large part of that money coming from the sale of credit default protection. Doing the math, that averages out to over $9 million of compensation per person.

Ask yourself this question: If your company made that much money, and the boss of the unit made almost $280 million in just a few years, exactly how likely is it that you wouldn't know where that money was coming from?

Matt Taibbi already is on cable news too rarely -- I imagine by about now he's going to be banned.

Somebody finds a nut

Ambinder:

"Limbaugh's ratings have surged since the White House made him the subject of their derision, which is exactly what the White House wanted. The more Republicans identify with Limbaugh, the better; the more Republicans apologize for Limbaugh, the better... So as Democrats focus on Limbaugh, Cheney and Rove, the result is a twofer; remind independents of why they voted for change and continue to perpetuate the Republican identity crisis."

Well, 68 days behind the Obama Administration and 67 behind us amateur lefty bloggers, but some mainstream media person finally figured it out.

(via Political Wire)

Shorter White House Press Corps

Unleash whine:

"At least Bush made the trains run on time."

Yep, punctuality in dispensing the daily lie and bullshit talking points was a real talent of the Bush White House press office. And dammit, back in those days Arie, Scottie, Tony or Dana would show up at 1 p.m. on the fuckin' dot and so the Press corps could engage in their then jobs -- as Colbert so rightly stated:

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the Decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!

Or as Chip Ried, Ed Henry or Jake Tapper know it...

The Golden Age.

Shecky Grassley

Digby brings up what I mentioned to a few friends but didn't blog about yesterday. One of my State's senators, Charles Grassley, has -- after a long career of presenting a picture of Iowa that matches American Gothic -- suddenly developed either Tourette's or a hankering for bad comedy.

But even more disturbing is Grassley has started twittering -- and it's kind of embarrassing -- even by text messaging standards his spelling is atrocious.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present to you the most diabolical and disturbing product of the genetic labs of John Derbyshire:



K-LOAD!!!!!!!

Run for your fucking lives, it heard there's a Star Trek-Themed all you can eat buffet near you!

Good thing he didn't ask her if she loved his nuts

As a commenter at Gawker said, "Sham Ow!"

Vince Shlomi, best known as television's ShamWow! guy, was arrested in Miami last month. For beating up a prostitute. Who allegedly tried to bite his tongue out.

Curious

Hey, CrazyLady. Are you going to wear that big honking diamond to your Orderly Revolution?

Republican Plan

Man, you guys really have "done learned" over the last 8 years haven't you? THIS is an only a slightly edited page from the completely bullshit (by their own admission) GOP Budget plan yesterday.

Yes, how do these things get started?

Ten days ago, the Irish Prime Minister, Brian Cowen, visited the White House. For some reason, this always seems to occur on March 17th. I guess Ireland can go Cheney themselves the other 364 days, but on St. Patrick's Day it's all good. Anyhow, at his appearance Cowen screwed up at the teleprompter like he was George Bush and then Obama helped him out by intentionally screwing up as a light-hearted joke.

Naturally, this incident was reported on right-wing blogs 180 degrees opposite of reality and Obama becomes "Mr. Teleprompter" -- like the device had been invented on January 20, 2009.

Yesterday, unrequited John McCain apologist Ron Fournier who I imagine considers Obama's use of a teleprompter "arrogant" took up this theme. Now comes Michael Gerson who writes a mealy-mouthed defense of the teleprompter industry with this statement:

It is amazing how swiftly a presidential tendency turns from observation to joke to meme. Barack Obama -- called "the most eloquent political speaker of our time" -- has become known as the teleprompter president.

Yeah, how on earth does stuff like that happen, Mr. Washington Post Editorial Page Columnist?


[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Creeple

Rush Limbaugh wins 'unsexiest' man of the year award

Hard to believe, but it was the wet t-shirt contest combined with his patented shaking while mocking people with Parkinson's Disease that clinched it for Rush, or as the Dominican hookers know him, El Pene de las Pinzas .

I'd have watched the Obama "Internet" conference

And been outraged or disappointed with the rest of the hippies that he laughed off the pot question but I was too busy cooking down Sudafed in my meth lab.

And Many More

Hegemaniacs: Wish a big "Happy Birthday" to the coolest, funniest, fezziest guy on the internets: Dr. Atta J. Turk (not to mention fellow March 26th-ers Leonard Nimoy, Richard Dawkins, and Alan Arkin).

It's going to be a "Fine" movie

Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro and Jim Carrey to star in next year's sure Oscar contender on the rise and fall and rise and fall and rise and fall and rise and fall of the American worker at the abusive hands of Moe-nagement.

There's hope for the RNC Technology Committee yet!

There may be hope -- just a hope -- that someday even Republicans will master the "internets" and the "googles":

Researchers at New York University's interactive telecommunications program have come up with a device that allows plants to tell owners when they need water or if they've had too much via the social network blogging service Twitter.

Still no cure for cancer.

MATLOCK!!!

Shorter Broder:

My NCAA brackets suck as much as my column.

Well, there's a rarity

Steny Hoyer inviting Republicans to kiss his ass -- and not in a nice way.

Steny Hoyer (D-MD), the number two Democrat in the House has put out a fairly suggestive flyer hammering Republicans in both bodies for their sudden and hypocritical aversion to passing controversial legislation via budget reconciliation...

And then it names names. Specifically, it calls out such influential Republicans as John Boehner, Judd Gregg, and Charles Grassley, who as recently as three years ago were singing the praises of the reconciliation process as a way to circumvent Democratic filibuster efforts. But now, in an unsurprising twist, they strongly oppose it. Just last week, in a somewhat melodramatic episode, Gregg compared the maneuver to "running over the minority, putting them in cement and throwing them in the Chicago River."

Good for Steny -- of course, the media filter will soon make it seem as if the GOP, those poor naive innocents NEVER EVER EVEN CONSIDERED using this in the past, it's all an invention of those darned power mad Democrats.

Maybe a few elected representatives

Should have to spend a couple of weeks in these people's shoes when they start complaining about how the government just has to leave the "free market" alone.

Forget Hoovervilles, these are Bush Gardens.

(Jim Wilson/The New York Times)

Prediction

Any minute now, this dope is going to start whining that his privacy is being invaded.

Oops he did it again

Eric Cantor didn't watch Obama's presser (though he criticized it).

But I'm sure Andrew Malcolm would totally NOT be bored by the fact the moron went to see Britney Spears instead.

John Hope Franklin, RIP

One of the truly great American historians...who also made history.

Oh Assrocket

Can't you keep it in your pants?

Allow me to rephrase:

It must be very strange to be Michele Bachmann. A woman of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, she can't get anyone to notice. She is like a great stripper or porn star who is ahead of her time, and who unveils one moneyshot after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

(photo from here)

Sacrifice Chuck Todd

Is Chuckie a virgin?

I think it's possible.

In any case, how about we just say he is and send him off to Mount Redoubt to placate the gods?!

Well now I'm all confused

Geithner's plan:

Krugman - thumbs down

Atrios - thumbs down

DeLong - Thumbs up

Roubini - Thumbs up

Atta J. Turk - Likes pudding




....mmmm pudding

Yep

Lee Judge / The Kansas City Star (March 24, 2009)

Major Moron

FoxNews -- sharing the same mind as Michelle Bachman, which is something considering what little there is to split between them:

"QUESTION: Good evening, Mr. President. Thank you. Taking this economic debate a bit globally, senior Chinese officials have publicly expressed an interest in an international currency. This is described by Chinese specialists as a sign that they are less confident than they used to be in the value and the reliability of the U.S. dollar. European countries have resisted your calls to spend more on economic stimulus." ...

"QUESTION: Is there a need for a global currency?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: I don't believe that there's a need for a global currency."

What the fuck is it with this new goofball meme?

Your Republican Line Up for 2012, part one

Newt Gingrich, who specializes in revising history, thinks he can be President. Yes, Newt Gingrich:

Gingrich pioneered a denial of adultery that some observers would later christen "the Newt Defense": Oral sex doesn't count.

So you see, Newt really was a visionary...

Gail Sheehy uncovered a woman, Anne Manning, who had an affair in Washington in 1977 with a married Gingrich.

"We had oral sex," Manning revealed. "He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, 'I never slept with her.'" She added that Gingrich threatened her: "If you ever tell anybody about this, I'll say you're lying."

And that was with two more marriages...and many more infidelities...a"head" of him.

Now, with his run for the White House ahead of him, Newt plans on starting with a clean slate by becoming a Catholic. First, this takes advantage of the Church's new "easier admission" policies and second, if they whole President thing doesn't work out he can always aim for being Pope.

Well that's certainly a change from the last guy

(via Firedoglake)

The politics of wetting one's pants

Oh, behold the self-reverent, self-proclaimed, brave ones in today's Washington Post:

Beyond the chessboard of the Senate, nearly half of the U.S. electorate calls itself moderate, and more than half of the rest identify themselves as conservative. That means Democrats could capture every liberal vote and half of the moderates and still lose at the polls. Many independents voted for President Obama and the contours of his change agenda, but they will not rubber-stamp it. They are wary of ideological solutions and are overwhelmingly pragmatic. Many of them live in our states and in the states of the other senators who have joined our group.

Evan Bayh, Blanche Lincoln, and Tom Carper -- we strongly believe in the loaded drivel of bullshit polls and empty platitudes!

Behold us villagers, worship us, and make sure there's plenty of cream cheese in the Meet the Press green "blue" room.

[cross-posted at FDL]

Seriously, People.

March 24 (Bloomberg) -- President Barack Obama will tell
the nation tonight the U.S. will recover from the recession
“but it will take time, it will take patience.”

The president plans to open his prime-time news conference
at 8 p.m. in Washington with a statement saying that his efforts
to revive the economy have led to “signs of progress,” with
his fiscal 2010 budget set to build on a “stronger foundation”
to prevent similar crises in the future.

“It’s a strategy to create jobs, to help responsible
homeowners, to re-start lending, and to grow our economy over
the long-term,” Obama will say, according to excerpts of his
remarks released by the administration. “And we are beginning
to see signs of progress.”

SHORTER: HERE

Teleprompter Tubbies

This picture must cause sensory overload

For your run-of-the-mill GOP Congressman.


LONDON - MARCH 23: Katie Price modelling her new range of equestrian clothing KP Equestrian at The Worx Studios on March 23, 2009 in London, England.

Doubling Down on the Asshole Behavior

Fresh off insulting Canada while they are receiving the remains of four freshly killed soldiers, FoxNews Greg Gutfeld shows he's all class through and through:

My apologies to the Canadian military, they probably could at least beat the Belgians.

Considering the number of corpses both Canada and Belgium left on Flanders Fields this is quite the demonstration of assholery and ignorance in a very condensed and offensive sentence.

(picture is the Hill 62 Memorial to Canadian dead at the Battle of Ypres 1916, one of many such memorials in Belgium)

UPDATE: Somebody hacked Gutfeld's wiki entry with something incredibly accurate.

Mark Halperin, Failure of Legacies

Yet another recipient of the Nepotism of Non-Expectations.

Doing the opposite of what Halperin pontificates rules the actual world.

Yet six-figures for the power of "teh stupid" is the way of the villager.

I can hardly wait for the day Halperin has to compete in the actual blog world without subsidy - if for no other reason than the guy sucks at photo manipulation even more than I do.

Amongst my favorite things in the blog world

Is when in the "diaries" at Daily Kos argue in comments over whether or not the original poster is actually abiding by the "procedural rules" of actually posting diaries.

When it goes to 300 comments over whether a diary is really a diary, well, that's just eight or nine layers of awesome.

Look out Silda Spitzer

I'll save the inside story for Res:

Once ubiquitous on the campaign trail and the New York social circuit, Rudy and Judith Giuliani have been noticeably absent as of late, sending reporters across town chasing a rumor that the two have separated.

Those poor Republicans

So white and so screwed,

Congressional Republicans are telling Dick Cheney to go back to his undisclosed location and leave them alone to rebuild the Republican Party without his input....

[A] House Republican lawmaker who requested anonymity said he wasn’t surprised that Cheney has strongly criticized Obama early in his term, but argued that it’s not helping the GOP cause.

The legislator said Cheney, whose approval ratings were lower than President Bush’s during the last Congress, didn’t think through the political implications of going after Obama.

Cheney did “House Republicans no favors,” the lawmaker said, adding, “I could never understand him anyway.”

Cheney not thinking something through...seems to be a pattern.

Matt Lauer frozen by Deer in Headlights

He fought a deer, and the deer won.

Well, not exactly. But "Today" show co-host Matt Lauer was absent from his morning talk show Monday after an incident with a deer that caused the TV personality to flip off his bicycle.

Frankly I think it's wrong that Lauer blamed his bike.

Shorter Geithner plan via Krugman

OPERATION SAVE MR. POTTER! from a fate of merely being wealthy!

Attention Booby Jindal

Those volcano monitors are doing their job.

Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano has begun erupting.

Geologists at the Alaska Volcano Observatory say the volcano erupted three times late Sunday and early Monday, with the largest eruption sending a plume of smoke some 50,000 feet above sea level.

Touchdown "Oh Jesus"

I've been too busy with all these "Wood" Anniversary festivities to spend as much time as usual at my favorite sources for unintended comedy. But then again, why wouldn't I on a "wood" anniversary?

K-Lo will not let you down, (except on the "wood" anniversary) the announcement that the President of the United States will give the commencement address at Notre Dame did not sit well with our lady of the mustache:

[Notre Dame] took a giant step away from their identity as "Catholic." They rather be of this world than the one they supposedly exist to bring people toward.

As Instaputz says, this sentence is a crime against grammar, and she's called an "editor".

Furthermore, I'm pretty sure Notre Dame long ago sort of compromised the whole "religious" thing when they canonized Knute Rockne.

Truly

One of the great legal submissions in the history of jurisprudence. Via TPM look what made it into a list of emails supporting a stiff sentence for Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff:



I see they brought in an expert on Ponzi schemes.

[sort of cross-posted at FDL]

Yep, it's FoxNews

Cretins.

FoxNews mocks Canada's military as four Canadian military personnel are killed in Afghanistan, where Canada has made a very substantial military commitment since 2001 and recently extended to 2011.

Ouch

As of last Wednesday this blog has now proudly sucked (well at least my contributions) for more than five years.

Alert Claude Rains

I'm shocked, SHOCKED!

Banks nationwide hold $41 billion in loans to directors, top executives and other insiders, a portfolio that experts say should be stripped of secrecy.

And when, exactly, did a lot of these insider loans happen?

At Charlotte-based Bank of America, those loans more than doubled last year, to $624.2 million — the biggest dollar jump in the country. The largest of them likely went to three directors or their companies. The surge came during the third quarter as credit markets froze, the government prepared to infuse banks with billions in tax dollars and the board approved the purchase of troubled Merrill Lynch.

Naturally these same "ethical" people are being trusted to get the banking system working again.

Analysis I can believe in

This Logic works better than Kudlow's:

Just for the record, Fox Business News had its first broadcast on October 15, 2007. The previous close was 14,093.08.

In other words, since Fox Business News came into existence, the Dow has dropped nearly 50%.

Remember that time

Two days before the inaugural when a group of musical stars, including Pete Seeger stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, when the President-Elect was 20 yards away and sang these lyrics?

As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - private property
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

(Chorus...this land is your land...)

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.

I'd like to think that Obama, Geithner and Summers think that those lyrics mean something. I don't actually have too much hope for the latter two, but the first one, I'd like to see some evidence.

Otherwise, it's starting to look like:

1. Profit
2. Completely fuck up by having your profit equal exploitation
3. Say you'll fix the fuck up that you are responsible for
4. Profit, slightly less
5. Repeat

Shamockery

A fraud who thinks she should be President does this with Obama's stimulus package:

The biggest single chunk of money that Palin is turning down is about $170 million for education, including money that would go for programs to help economically disadvantaged and special needs students.

And then has the gall to say this:

"I hope President Obama’s comments do not reflect how he truly feels about the special needs community.”

Because we already know what you feel asshole.

About right

Toles:

via AmericaBlog

I'm pretty sure

I've never written about Battlestar Galactica -- that's always been the particular speciality of Athenae over at First Draft.

But I have to say, THAT'S how a series finale should be done, especially a Sci-Fi (sorry Sy Fy) series.

What Joe Nocera Said

Seriously.

Eliot Spitzer, too. Yeah: Eliot Spitzer.

And Matt Taibbi, which includes the best, most straightforward explanation of CDOs and credit default swaps I've read to date.

This week made me glad I gave up cable TV.

This Guy's GOOD!

Wow. Finally caught Obama on Leno. This guy's good -- and his wife is a superhero! Okay, so I'm gushing. Who cares? The guy is 100 -- no! -- 1000 times better than the last person to occupy the White House and I'm still rooting for him.

Oh, and after you watch the interview, get a load of the Bobblespeak edition. If your week's been anything like mine, you could use the laughs.

Smooth Operators

How stupefyingly unsurprising.

While the American International Group comes under fire from Congress over executive bonuses, it is quietly fighting the federal government for the return of $306 million in tax payments, some related to deals that were conducted through offshore tax havens.

A.I.G. sued the government last month in a bid to force it to return the payments, which stemmed in large part from its use of aggressive tax deals, some involving entities controlled by the company’s financial products unit in the Cayman Islands, Ireland, the Dutch Antilles and other offshore havens.

Looks like Matt Taibbi is right.

Happy Chimpiversary

(To Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)

It was six sad years ago today,
Chimpy said Saddam he had to pay
They've been bombing rubble to a pile

Conservatives raised more than smiles.
So may I introduce to you
The act you've put up with for years,
Commander Codpiece’s fucked up war.

It’s Commander Codpiece’s fucked up war,
Hope Hannity enjoyed the show,
It’s Commander Codpiece’s fucked up war,
Sit back and watch the blowback grow.
It’s Codpieces sucking, Never ending fucking,
Everlasting trumped up stupid war.

It's just great to invade here,

This flightsuit makes a thrill.
You're such a captive audience,
But please do not come home with us,

Please don’t follow us home.

Didn't really want to stop the war,
And maybe I did lose to Al Gore,
But the Preznits going to drop the bombs,

And you really just have to go along.
So let me introduce to you
The War that’s lasted for Six Years
And Commander Codpiece’s fucked up War!

To paraphrase "Wolf Blitzer"

"Those poor people, so rich and so white."

The A.I.G. executive who was nicknamed “Jackpot Jimmy” by a New York tabloid walked up the driveway toward his bay-windowed house in Fairfield, Conn., on Thursday afternoon. "How do I feel?” said the executive, James Haas, repeating the question he had just been asked. “I feel horrible. This hasbeen a complete invasion of privacy."...

Those bonuses in years past helped make A.I.G. executives into prominent local citizens. They own big houses like Mr. Haas’s, with its three chimneys and its views of Southport Harbor and Long Island Sound in the distance.

May they float upon the salty river of crocodile tears we cry for them.

Want to be on Tee Vee?

My theory is, if you really want to be on television the easiest way to do so is to be an African-American who says they are a Republican.

There are about 38 million African-Americans, and looking at the election about 17 million of them voted in 2008.

How many voted Republican? Out of 17 million -- 670,000.

4 out of every 100 African-American votes went for the GOP ticket, FOUR!

Yet, it appears that virtually every African-American under 40 who voted Republican is a commentator on one of the three cable news networks.

Are you African-American, under 40, and moderately attractive (you can even be cross-eyed for goodness sake)?

Then Cable News Talking Boob may just be the job for you!

Meet the latest edition, from John Amato making a similar point.

May Day, finally a reason for Rush Limbaugh to celebrate!

So Rush will be able to see "Who's Nailin' Palin" the way God intended it.

If only he could reach his li'l ditto.

Oh, you know this is a "winner"

If only they had added a Kagan as an author.

Yeah, Afghanistan...

Oh thank goodness

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck come out for letting AIG pinheads keep ALL their bonuses.

Now those are some powerful drugs.

Now I REALLY approve of tax hikes on the wealthy

Ann Coulter going Galt, and she's got a head start, what with that dick and all.

In a BookTV interview postponed from February and airing last weekend, author Ann Coulter said that she will probably stop writing books, citing increasing taxes on the rich by the Obama administration.

Of course, her sales have also fallen and there are only so many poses you can make in that fucking disgusting black cocktail dress.

Conflict of Interest Much?

Greta Van Susteran has produced many puff pieces on Sarah Palin...and the fact that her scientologist husband is responsible for rehabilitating Palin is why.

Not that FoxNews would ever deign to mention such a major conflict-of-interest.

March 18th

It's Peter Graves birthday...so you know what that means:

Apparently

Tim Geithner's cunning plan is to pretend that AIG is Lucy, she just burned the pot roast, and he's Ricky Ricardo swearing in Spanish and barring her from attending tonight's performance at the Tropicana.

And you know how that always works out.

This makes Larry Summers, Fred Mertz by the way.

[pic modified from here]

And if this fails?

The GOP is now trying to double-dip on Bush v. Gore, a decision with expressed no value as a precedent in the most bizarre (if not most unfair, close but no cigar) decision ever from the High Court.

So when this fails, what's next?

Dred Scott v. Sandford? I mean, Al Franken did get a huge majority of the black vote. And...

"beings of an inferior order, and altogether unfit to associate with the white race, either in social or political relations, and so far inferior that they had no rights which the white man was bound to respect."

You know, it's hard to even snark about how awful and repellent the Dred Scott decision was. Though I'm not religious, there's a part of me that hopes Roger Taney is roasting in hell over it.

Just middle class people

Well, I guess our outrage over being awarded for failure is completely misplaced. And who would know better than members of the former Bush Administration, like Dana Perino who says of those poor people at AIG getting seven figure bonuses they are...

...the people who are working there that are middle-class people, are expecting to get this bonus. If they do not get it, maybe they won’t be motivated enough to try to help the company turn around and getting the company to turn around and be more profitable is important for all of us.

Um, yeah...

And the world's best known tea-bagger, Rick Santelli must be outraged -- but no, this time he's outraged by the outrage.

Yet, sadly, one gets the feeling that Tim Geithner, clearly the Matt Millen of the Obama Administration, is probably sitting in his office squeaking and sweating nervously (one gets the feeling that we all have discovered this is his great talent, a veritable Administrative Don Knotts) that these two know what they're talking about.

[cross-posted at FDL]

Remember it's not twittering to John McCain

It's "twattering".

OWM seeks friendship and maybe more from SWCF of traditional values.

"No fatties".

Don't get your Magic Undies in a knot

It's Mormon Jesus:

Shorter John McCain: "Well, she is kind of fat"

Father of the year:

“What do you think of Meghan’s feud with Coulter and Ingraham?” McCain first said, “I’m proud of my daughter and she has a right to her opinions.” When asked if he agrees with his daughter, McCain did not say, simply stating, “like any family we agree on some things and disagree on others”

"Meghan, I'm never going to enter you in any wet t-shirt contests until you drop a few."

(pic from here)

Americanz Lurnkneng

How much did they spend coming up with this idea?

After 16 years, Sci Fi Channel is changing its name ... unless you say it aloud.

The NBC Universal-owned cable network will become SyFy starting in June...

The phonics-friendly moniker is part of a network-wide rebranding campaign that has been in the works for more than a year.

I suppose this is the excuse they have for having pro-rassling?

I'm offended. I'm going to watch a show about "Monsters" or "Loggers" on the History Channel, oh I'm sorry "HISTORY" or yet another show about ruining my neighbor's family room on The Learning Channel, oops "TLC".

I was worried about the NY Times

Being able to find a bigger moron as a conservative columnist than Bill Kristol -- but my goodness, they've done it.

One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend's parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point--"Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?" she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn't sure what to say, but then I wasn't sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business... and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered--"You know, I'm on the pill..."

This is the equivalent of Russ Ross Douhat winning the lottery but turning down the winnings because he's going Galt.

Ross, I'm sorry you could not maintain an erection when you were 20, but becoming a conservative because of it is just pathetic, if not entirely unprecedented.

What the hell happened?

In regards to the just released report showing systematic torture by the United States, suddently Anne Applebaum is making sense (well sort of)?!

But the political rights and wrongs of this failed policy are no longer the point. What matters now is that our laws be enforced. The United States is not and never was a fascist state, and the CIA prisons were not and never were the Gulag. These 14 men were not tortured as part of an ordinary and accepted routine, in other words, but according to special rules and procedures, set up at the highest level of government, by people who surely knew that they were illegal; otherwise, they would not have limited them so carefully. What we need now, therefore, is not an endless, politicized circus of a congressional investigation into every aspect of George W. Bush's White House but a carefully targeted legal investigation of the CIA's invisible prisons: who gave the orders to use torture, who carried out the orders, what exactly was done, who objected. The guilty, however senior, should be named, forced to testify and called to account -- because the rule of law, and nothing else, is what makes us exceptional.

The slam on a congressional investigation is drivel -- after all it's the ONLY place that is actually even contemplating investigating these abuses, but otherwise, I'm rather amazed that Applebaum wrote this.

Cry Havoc and let slip the rimshots of war!

Richard Cohen wants you to remember:

First, let me state my credentials: I am a funny guy. This is well known in certain circles...

And he proved it after Stephen Colbert's performance before Bush and the media nearly three years ago.

Commentary, though, is also what I do, and it will make the point that Colbert was not just a failure as a comedian but rude.

So who better to condemn Jon Stewart this morning than Cohen?

The hunt is on for culprits and scapegoats, and Stewart has served up a cliche: the media. As with the war in Iraq, for which credulous media should take some responsibility, the sins are blown out of proportion.

And Cohen's sins -- especially -- are blown out of proportion, for example, invading Iraq, not because of evidence, but because Colin Powell said so:

Only a fool -- or possibly a Frenchman -- could conclude otherwise.

Any other punchlines about Iraq, Dick?

In a post-Sept. 11 world, I thought the prudent use of violence could be therapeutic.

Therapeutic...and funny.

C'est la vie.



[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Bottomless Love

With limited apology to Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross...


Two-hearts, two-hearts that beat as one,
Cholesterol of a thousand and one...

Forever
(ohhhhhh)
I'll hold you close arm and arm
I can't resist your smarm

And love
Oh, love
I'll be a fool
For you,
I'm sure
You know I don't mind
Oh, you know I don't mind

cause you,
You're hillbilly crack to me
Oh
I know
I know
I've found in you
My bottomless love

Oooh-woow
Boom, boom
Boom, boom, boom, boom, booom
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom

Oooh, and love
Oh, love
I'll be that fool
For you,
I'm sure
You know I don't mind
Oh you know-
I don't mind

And, yes
You'll be the only one
cause no one can deny
This WMD I have inside
And I'll give all 2" to you
My love
My love, my love
My bottomless love

Remember It's Not 'Morning Joe'

It's Doucheborough and his besweatered co-dependent.


(pic from scriptingnews)

Network Primetime TV of the near future

Exclusively made up of:

1. Cooking shows featuring abuse.

2. Celebrity dancing featuring abuse.

3. Singing shows featuring abuse.

4. Donald Trump = abuse.

5. Jay Leno, more than abuse, it's a bad touch.

The Western Grip

View it while you can (unless you have HBO of course)

File Under "Nobody Cares What that Asshole Said"

This, I mean.

A successful abstinence policy would be this quote illustrated

Not enough Viagra and Gin to get the image out of your brain.

Cheney on Limbaugh: ‘I love him.’

Funny, Rush goes to the Dominican Republic to have third-world prostitutes diddle his balloon-knot -- but Cheney goes to the Dominican to get his masturbatory jollies over re-enactments of the assassination of the Mirabel Sisters by Generalissimo Trujillo, Cheney's boyhood crush.

(photo from Jesus General)

So...

You think Bin Laden regrets having airplanes fly into buildings and then needing to hide, when he could have simply worked for AIG?

Ooh, I know, I know, pick me!!!

Booman asks in the wake of Obama's great ratings everywhere but the South:

[W]hy does the South have such dramatically different opinions about Barack Obama from the rest of the country? Seriously. I'm not asking this to pick on the South or because I expect an answer that denigrates southerners. I just want to know, what are the issues that are driving down Obama's approval ratings in the South, when the Northeast is giving him a 87% thumbs-up?

Allow me to repeat myself:

Is there any group that has been more responsible for holding back progress, who has ever been more consistently wrong about everything the last sixty years than Southern Conservatives?

Hell, the whole history of the Republic has seen this bunch of southern-fried right-wing fucks consistently wrong and consistently holding the rest of the nation back. Being defeated, and then starting ALL OVER AGAIN with being fucking wrong about something else. WRONG. ABOUT. EVERY. FUCKING. THING. From holding back the economic development of the early nation, to slavery, to the Civil War, to Jim Crow, to Segregation, to the minimum wage, to maximum hours, to workplace safety, to workers compensation, to food safety, to child labor, to isolationism, to the FDIC, to Social Security, to Red Baiting, to anti-intellectualism, to workplace discrimination, to State's Rights, to the Voting Rights Act, to religious fundementalism, to loving guns more than life itself, to anti-Catholicism, to anti-Semitism, to the War on Terror, to birth control, to not taxing while spending, to homophobia, to making the rubble bounce on brown people, to supporting torture, to police abuse, to outlawing the precious and blessed blowjob between consenting adults, generation after generation, they've been the assholes of the nation.

Pretty sure this is not WJWD

But it's the "gays" we really have to look out for according to the religious right:

NC: youth pastor charged with rape of 14-year-old is rearrested on 19 more charges

An investigation discovered assaults had been taking place over the past three months, police said in a press release.

When interviewed by detectives, Caldwell admitted to multiple counts of statutory rape, statutory sex offense and taking indecent liberties with a minor, according to police.

Caldwell was charged with 6 counts of statutory rape of a 14-year-old, three counts of statutory sex offense of a 14-year-old and eight counts of taking indecent liberties with a minor.

And now this guy has been rearrested on other sex charges.

Is this post intended to say all christian conservatives are pedophiles?

Of course not -- but considering they've been tossing out charges against gays for years on broad and false charges of pedophilia by analogy it should be noted that these allegations are NOT isolated to just this guy in that community.

Here's a suggestion, how about these instead?

Manchester United Jerseys.

Fuckers:

Insurance giant American International Group, which has received $170 billion in funds from the government to stay afloat, will award about $165 million in employee bonuses. The U.S. government has an 80 percent ownership stake in the company. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner had urged AIG’s chief Edward Liddy to renegotiate the payments, but Liddy said he had “grave concerns” about the impact on the firm’s ability to retain talented staff.

I'd say "how talented can your staff be?", but then again, this global ponzi scheme has managed to blackmail the American taxpayer out of $170 billion.

Trickle-Down Tone

Dear Megan McCain,

Sorry you've become embroiled in a cat fight with one of the nastiest Republicans in the party. But if you ever find yourself wondering how the world could have produced a soul as ugly as that of your opponent, you need to remember that the Laura Ingrahams of this world learned everything they know about hitting below the belt from none other than your illustrious father.

xxx...res

"Spongerush Fatpants"

MATLOCK!!!

Shorter Broder:

Barack Obama has come in here and tried to trash change this place, and it's NOT HIS PLACE!

What's next, Sally Quinn bemoaning Obama's marriage?

Putting the "dick" in Peacock

Funny how just a few weeks ago, NBC News decided to jump in on the Rick Santelli rant and make it the LEAD story on the Nightly News. Then slowly but surely as he became an embarrassment they suddenly forgot who he was and nary a peep was heard.

And then Jim Cramer and the whole CNBC brand was mocked by John Stewart and the next thing you know over the course of a few days Jim Cramer was all over the place belittling this "comedian". He was on Doucheborough and his besweatered Co-Dependent, he was on the Today Show, he was everywhere.

And then Stewart gutted him and everything the network stood for.

And on MSNBC yesterday -- including Olbermann and Maddow, NOT A GODDAMNED PEEP (actually I must have been watching basketball or something while channel flipping because Maddow apparently discussed it).

There's a reason Tweety & Doucheborough never get named Worst Person in the World -- or even contenders.

Cue the symbol of NBC News ladies and gentlemen, the dancing penis and the giant dick.

Swedes

Professional Golfer Henrik Stenson stripped down at a tournament in where else, Florida. Stenson, who apparently thought he had become "Dr. Manhattan" wanted to avoid getting dirty while playing his ball -- which sounds both sad and painful.

If you click on the picture, you'll see he even had to borrow a tennis player's undies.

Hey, just be glad it wasn't John Daly.

Credit: Kyle Auclair/Getty Images

"Doucheborough"

Dear John Stewart,

If you'd take on Doucheborough the way you took on Cramer, I'd nominate you for a Nobel Prize.

xxx...res

P.S. Please let the name "Doucheborough" stick and be spread far and wide.

Let me hope

I am the first person to say these John Galt espousing idiots speak in...

AynRandic Pantloadameter!

If I am, the intellectual copyright must be worth at least a Zagnut.

If not, it can't be worth a plagiarism claim.

As mentioned below

Ann Coulter's book sales are going down faster than Larry Craig when Ann's in the next bathroom stall over.

Imagine what she says about you behind your ample back?

You know K-Lo is often fawning over Laura Ingraham.

So, if the woman had any even tangential connection to reality (big presumption) you have to wonder what she'll think of her mind-fuck buddy after this:

In a mocking faux-Valley Girl voice, Ingraham made fun of McCain’s body, joking that she didn’t get a “role in the Real World” because “they don’t like plus-sized models”

They are truly eating their own.

Which means K-Lo, Rush, Denny Hastert and John Podhoretz are going to the the last four standing for the final battle royal.

There’s plenty to write about…

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Interview Outtake Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

But, in the words of Peggy Noonan when she's not lighting a candle for well, several candles actually, and downing wine like Ann Althouse during an American Idol marathon, closing her eyes, laying back, and then softly moaning and "caressing" herself while thinking of Reagan, "LET US SAVOR"*.

I suggest that Jon Stewart be given the power to interview a wide variety of bald men with a lot of explaining to do.

- Dick "Execution Squad" Cheney
- Ben Bernanke
- Hank Paulson
- Larry Kudlow
- Lex Luthor
- Dr. Phil
- Al Roker

The video link is to the first part of the interview of Jim Cramer, including outtakes. Go to the Daily Show site and see the entire interview, (also enjoy the occasional embedded "Bank of America" ad with a sense of its irony and hypocrisy too -- but especially enjoy part 3 about 6:30 in where Joe Scarborough gets a pithy new nickname).

It would be nice if this leads to the downfall of financial reporting idiocy faster than Ann Coulter's booksales plummet. But I'd bet various and sundry "Money Honeys" it won't.

*(h/t Res Ipsa).

[cross-posted at FDL]