THE BOTTOM LEVEL OF THE BASE!!!

Has been identified:

Some 30 percent of Americans cannot say in what year the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks against New York's World Trade Center and the Pentagon in Washington took place, according to a poll published in the Washington Post newspaper.

They're going to be in for quite a day, when they don't notice George Bush summoning up his "mourning smirk" and waging his finger on the fifth anniversary. They'll just say, "ooooh, that mumbly dude sure seems to like his beer, I sure would like to have one wit' him and talk about how much I hate Jeff Gordon but love me some dead Dale Earnhardt, NUMBER 3, NUMBER 3, NUMBER 3!".

This moment of unabashed common sense characterized as elitism brought to you by the Chubb Group.

In the meantime, with 300 million "legal" residents of the nation, we know no that FoxNews can potentially have as many as 15 million regular viewers:

95 percent of Americans questioned in the poll were able to remember the month and the day of the attacks, according to Wednesday's edition of the newspaper.