Sunday, December 20, 2009

Atta J. Turk's Trusty NFL Picks

I went 4 and 2 last week, making me 55 and 29 for the year. So I'm on a bit of a roll.

With that in mind let me make one more prediction -- it's going to snow a goddamned shitload on the east coast.

Ya' see that's why I get the big imaginary money.

Because the NFL has deprive us of two games to show on their network that so many of us are not allowed to see, there are fewer games this week to pick on a Sunday. Thanks Roger Goddell and Cable Companies. Screw you! On the other hand, thank goodness those two games already happened, or I'd already probably be at least one loss down.

Patriots at Bills
: Now here is a place that is used to snow. Notice there's been no rescheduling in Buffalo (that's what McKinley would have wanted)? The Patriots have been playing like relatively poorly for a while, but managed to pull one out against Carolina. The Bills? Well, who really cares, though they've been better lately. Randy Moss was accused of dogging it last week, but was too lazy to make an effort to respond. Naturally that means he'll go nuts and the Patriots will win big.

Falcons at Jets: The Falcons almost beat the Saints last week, something that seemed almost impressive until it became clear the Saints clearly needed to be beaten -- a metaphorical subconscious desire of what so many would like to see Joe Lieberman and Ben Nelson be compelled to do to each other (everybody wins!). Short summary of this game, the Jets can really run, the Falcons can really be run on. J-E-T-S win.

Browns at Chiefs:
The storm has delayed many NFC games to a later start time. But somehow this has not happened to the early games in the AFC. THANK GOD! If that happened much of the nation might have had this game inflicted upon us (unlike what happened to us with Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman). There have been a lot of great match-ups in the NFL this year, but there have also been some incredible dogs. Brows vs. Bills, Lions vs. Rams, Lions vs. Browns (which turned out to be a great game). These two teams are awful, though the Browns and the Chiefs both have something in common -- beating the Steelers. They can get together and stink up the joint and watch the Chiefs win on a late safety.

Raiders at Broncos
: Ah yes, the inevitable guarateed winner pick. Though I feel bad that JaMarcus Russell won't play because than I should get an extra win out of this one, but Russell, it has been recognized sucks so bad that even the awful Charlie Frye will start at QB. Take the Broncos and don't watch this game.

Bears at Baltimore
: The Bears apparently had trouble making it to Baltimore, in addition the game was pushed back to 4:15, but you can't leave behind Jay Cutler. That guy, or as Jon Gruden would say, THAT GUY, can really throw interceptions. I remember at the beginning of the year it was thought that the Bears would battle the Vikings and Packers for the NFC North. Oops. And while they have had injuries to their defense, their offense has been relatively healthy. They just suck. Their offensive line is bad, their receivers are below average, and Cutler is getting compared to Jeff George -- ouch. Although the Raiders would be delighted if JaMarcus Russell was compared to Jeff George. The Ravens will treat the Bears the way Cindy Brunson of ESPN treats make up -- as an unnecessary disaster. Ravens win.

Packers at Steelers
: Its plain by now that the Packers have recovered from a the first half of the season when they were a talented train-wreck. They've won five in a row - and impressively. They are obviously not just a good play off team, but one that can win if they go to New Orleans or Minnesota (can you imagine Fox-TV if those two met in the NFC Championship game, the states of Wisconsin or Minnesota may never recover -- and Rupert Murdoch would develop a chubby. Meanwhile, the Steelers have lost five in a row. They're not going anywhere this year. So one team has won five straight beating the Cowboys and Ravens, one team has lost five straight, including to the Raiders, Chiefs, and Browns. It's insane to pick the Steelers. I'm picking the Steelers.

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