Thursday, July 27, 2006

Operative Enduring Redundancy

The "NEW" spectacular, stupendous, awesome, dynamic, factesque of what Bush would like to call 'the ground', super-duper, marvelous, stunning, we're winning, fabulous, let's call it awesome again, plan for getting control of Baghdad ("Operation Enduring Awesomeness!?") has been revealed in time for the new Fall Cable News Network season. And it's truly awesomely uninspiring.

...just six weeks ago, there was a much-balleyhooed "Baghdad Offensive," which reportedly involved 75,000 Iraqi and Coalition troops. It was supposed to retake the city, and military leaders and pundits predicted that the insurgents would be routed and order restored. So obviously that didn't exactly go according to plan. And more to the point, if 75,000 couldn't do it, how are an extra 8,000 going to make a difference? Or maybe, just maybe, this announcement is, dare I say, politically motivated? Because six weeks ago, President Bush was making a Surprise Visit to Baghdad, at which he and Prime Minister Maliki announced the massive Baghdad operation. Now Prime Minister Maliki is visiting to the U.S. and there's a new plan to secure Baghdad. Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

But hell, let's just go to the reviews:

B. O'Reilly, FoxNews: "I laugh, I cried, I stayed 6,000 miles away"

S. Doocey, FoxNews: "I had a boner, five minutes later I didn't. Then I got a boner again."

L. Dobbs, CNN: "Will it protect me from the Mexi-India-Chinaman?"

S. Hannity, FoxNews: "Colmes, time to wipe me!"

P. Zahn, CNN: "Is this the sign from Revelations?"

A. Coulter, MSNBC: "It's not at all gay, like Bill Clinton gay."

D. Cheney, Halliburton Syndicate: "Mwa fwa muffa ma mwa"

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