Atta J. Turk's (increasingly) Trusty NFL Picks

Well a 5-1 week last week bumps me up to 25 and 17 for the year. I am officially overqualifed to work for ESPN.

But enough about me, let's talk about what everyone who follows the NFL is thinking about. The most anticipated match up of this year, the match up between the Rams and Lions.

...oh c'mon you knew that one was coming.

Rams at Lions. I know many people would think this is me picking an easy game, but it isn't. These are two really shitty clubs. The Rams are winless, and came close to winning only once this year, when somehow they forced the Jaguars into overtime before losing. As not one person in this country saw this game (including in Jacksonville where it was played) nobody knows how this happened. The Rams have lost, I believe something like 14 or 15 straight, succeeding the prior title-holder...you guessed it, the Detroit Lions. Collectively, since the start of the 2008 season these two teams are 3 and 43. That's some crap you can believe in. Despite the protest of the already suffering masses of the city, this game is being played in Detroit. And that's why the Lions will win -- though the Rams knowing this might be their best shot all year will try their best, they will fail.

Broncos at Ravens: They say you should usually take a team coming off of a bye. Well "they", both of these teams are coming off of a bye, so what now genius? Many of the experts picked the Broncos to win somewhere between 3 and 7 games -- and now here they are at 6 and 0. Meanwhile, the Ravens who started 3 and 0 against the likes of the Chiefs, the Browns and the ever erratic Chargers have now lost consecutively to three good teams. But they are the desperate team at home, always a good pick. I'll pick the Ravens.


Giants at Eagles: The battle of two good teams that hit predictable sucking mid-season swoons. I have no real reason to favor one team or the other, but when it doubt, pick the team that Rush Limbaugh will root against. You can do it Donovan, I believe in you...for this week.

49ers at Colts: The 49ers and Colts haven't been good at the same time since the merger. Who cares? Nobody. The Colts frankly scare me, I'd like nothing better than to see Peyton Manning have a day where he gets sacked about a million times and punished -- Johnny Unitas had days like that, but nooooooooo, he just has to play awesome every week. How dull. No excitement this week either, Colts comfortably.

Vikings at Packers: If I believed ESPN I'd think this is the biggest game ever played.

Let's all get ready for what we'll hear...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Will Brett Favre be booed? Will he be cheered? Will he remember to wear pants? PLEASE JEEBUS, JUST LET ME GET THROUGH THE PRE-GAME SHOWS TOMORROW...I LONG AGO CEASED CARING!

As for the game, the Packers are the more desperate team, the Vikings have just played two very physical games only to have to stroll into Lambeau to play another. It makes no sense to pick the Vikings, but the melodrama demands Favre play well and against all logic (perhaps influenced too much by who my childhood team is, hmmmmm? [which really means I should know even better]) I'm picking the Vikings.

Falcons at Saints: This is a great game, but will anyone have any energy to go on after Brett Favre played at Lambeau?

In case we have not all committed suicide because there's nothing left to live for, I'll say the surviving Saints will defeat the surviving Falcons.