Sunday, June 12, 2005

If the Patty Hearst Kidnapping occurred today....

Would cable television's talking heads react to the abduction of the white, mildly attractive woman by:


a. Suffering from embarassing erections lasting more the four hours, or chafing wetness?

b. Revealing the names of individuals that have infiltrated the SLA (Geraldo only)

c. Threatening to shave their mustaches? (Again, Geraldo only)

d. Speculating on how Howard Dean was involved?

e. Ignoring the Preznit's various on-going war crimes? (like that's a tough one)

f. Exploding?

g. Speculating that Hearst was being hidden in Syria and/or Iran?

h. All of the above?

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