The Critic Strikes Back

Hey folks, I gotta say that rarely do I get as much email as when I write about music, television, and movies here on the Rising Hegemon. So, since some of you wanted a response to a few questions:

Q: Do you Dirk D. DeDurkheim believe that the movie industry is dead?

A: Nope. Or at least, not yet. The final sign that we are dead as a society is when we see on our theatre marquees "The Facts of Life-The Movie". You KNOW it's only a
matter of time... I know, I know I shudder to think about it too. But when it happens then, we may as well turn the lights out, it's over.

Q: DeDurkheim what is with your dislike of Russell Crowe?

A: Not fair, I actually have liked a few of his movies such as A Brilliant Mind. Even though they overly romanticized it but what do you expect from Opie Cunningham? The larger issue is: can we have films made that do not treat the audience as though we were all 15 year old boys??? Heck, make that 15 year old crushing on our best friend's mom middle class white boys. How else can you explain some of the weirdness in the Star Wars films?

Another problem is that right now some interesting dare I say good "Hollywood type" movies are out (such as our crusin' for brusin' aussie Crowe's Cinderella Man) but it's getting killed at the box office by the usual summer mindless retread eye candy junk. To reiterate one major theatre chain is offering to give people their money back if they go to "Cinderella Man" and don't like it. No such offer with that travesty to the memory of Elizabeth Montgomery film trash out now called Bewitched.

Good gravy people, how long are we going to keep giving that female redheaded aussie film breaks. Sheesh. She hasn't done anything good since she worked with Gus Van Sant and even that played to the 15 year old middle class white boy. And yes, I saw Dogville, she still doesn't get a pass.

Q: D.D.D. what have you got against commedies?

A: Nothing if they are done well. For what it's worth, a few of my favorite comedies: 1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail; 2. Duck Soup; 3. Young Frankenstein; 4. Help!; 5. This is Spinal Tap; 6. Animal House; 7. Rock and Roll High School; 8. Airplane; 9. Animal Crackers; 10. Meatballs and Caddy Shack (a tie in my mind); 11. A Thousand Clowns (although as serious as it is funny).

Q: Couldn't you apply this kind of a list to the music industry?

A: Yes you could. And should. So...

MY TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE MUSIC BIZ IS IN A SLUMP
(with much regards to Me for the previous template!)

1) Too many remakes

2) Too many sequels

3) Too many ensemble productions without any real disc time for the participants to make a difference to the song (stunt casting?)

4) Too much style and not enough melody

5) Too much hard drive and not enough two-inch tape

6) Too much irony and not enough naivete

7) John Lennon, Joey Ramone and Frank Zappa are dead

8) Paul McCartney, REM and Sting are still making records

9) NotLame and Jam are making BETTER records

10) The Rolling Stones are still going out on tour

As a great person once said, "Surreal when you say that."