Movie Critic Time

There seems to be a lot of discussion about how bad a slump this big super dee-duper summer movie season is in for summer 2005. But before I make the arguments that independent film is stronger and more interesting than ever, we are talking about the ever increasing bizarre celebrity machine known as Hollywood.

Basically Hollywood movies are at a 20 year low for the past 6 months, despite Star Wars, Batman, War of the Worlds, and more. There have been several surveys that mention that more people polled prefer to watch movies in there home rather then a theater.

MY TOP TEN REASONS WHY HOLLYWOOD IS IN A SLUMP

1) Too many remakes or pseudo-remakes. Everyone I know who has seen Bewitched wants their money back! Of course, they are only giving money back for Cindrella Man right now but maybe there is a trend coming our way.

2) Too many sequels. Where are the original ideas? Hell Atta J. Turk and I have many good movie ideas that are not based on a past movie, so pay us.

3) Too many ensemble cast movies without any real screen time for the participants to make a difference to the plot (stunt casting?). Can we also add in here the casting of someone who "looks" good (whatever that means) rather than an actor capable of good or interesting acting.

4) Too much style and not enough plot. I am tired of watching films and thinking "Oh, here is where the director and editor want me to go... oh and ah." Can we get away from the style manipulation?

5) Too much CGI and not enough organic celluloid. Am I alone in not liking War of the Worlds based on this simple idea?

6) The loss of irony and naivete. As well as the failure to be careful in the use of them. You can also go too far with either one.

7) Alfred Hitchcock, John Ford, Stanley Kubrick, and Robert Wise are dead and not making films anymore.

8) Steven Speilberg, George Lucas and Woody Allen are still making movies. Hey, whatever happened to "less is more." And man, Woody... just stop. Please. I am begging you here. You are crushing what once was an amazing career. Go play some jazz.

9) Japan and Bollywood are making better films. Come on, if you saw Bride and Prejudice, you know what I am talking about. Not to mention the horror films coming out of Japan for the last several years are scary as hell.

10) Arnold is still the Governor of California. Love the guy, hate the guy, people line up in droves to see him. Of course, I would rather have him making movies as opposed to being the Guv of Cali.

Something is incredibly wrong when the best movie I have seen recently was "Herbie: Fully Loaded" with my kids. Yeah, yeah... I know but it was fun. Remember when movies were fun? Maybe Hollywood and its celebrity "look at me, look at me" culture could finally be put to bed and moviemakers could give us something new and original to watch. Maybe then we would go to the theatres.