Plotzing

It's going to be a tough year for John Podhoretz, self-described movie critic. Look at the academy award contenders, particularly under best actor:

- Heath Ledger; for a tremendous and largely silent performance in Brokeback Mountain. It cannot be easy playing a repressed, non-verbal character, but Ledger pulls it off amazingly well.

- Phillip Seymour Hoffman; in Capote for not playing Truman Capote as a cartoon character, which the real person himself became in the 1970s (back when JPOD was conducting the productive life of only watching television)

- Eric Bana; Playing a man employed to take revenge on those behind the Munich massacre, who finds himself becoming a monster.

- David Straithorn; Playing the icon of good journalism Edward Murrow, the man who helped take a Podhoretz family icon down.

- Viggo Mortenson; Who perhaps played the character a man like Podhoretz would fantasize about (in one way or another) in A History of Violence but who is a committed progressive who'd probably say many terrible (and true) things about Bush if he won.


Ultimately that leaves JPod with only one candidate he'll cheer for on Oscar night,

Joaquin Phoenix for Walk the Line. Playing a man who became famous singing songs about men in prison because they shot a man "just to watch him die"; became a drug addict, divorced his wife and mother of his children; reformed himself into the best kind of religious Christian by decrying the Vietnam War, pro-civil rights and sang about how the words of Jesus meant "love & charity" not kill abortion doctors or terrorists. Finally, the same man had a critical rebirth using his tremendous and distinctive voice to sing songs with lyrics like this:

Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life
If I hadn't have shot poor
Delia I'd have had her for my wife
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

I went up to Memphis
And I met Delia there Found her in her parlor
And I tied to her chair
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

She was low down and trifling
And she was cold and mean
Kind of evil make me want to Grab my sub machine
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

First time I shot her I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

But jailer, oh, jailer Jailer,
I can't sleep 'Cause all around my bedside
I hear the patter of Delia's feet
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

So if you woman's devilish
You can let her run
Or you can bring her down and do her
Like Delia got done
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

Of course, I suppose a lot of GOP Rapture lovers think that Delia must of deserved it because she was contemplating using RU-486 or something.

When you get right down to it, there's enough there to drive JPod to a thorough waxing.