A Personal Apology from Atta J. Turk

To the people of the Caribbean.

Anyone who actually pays attention to things like what time I, Dr. Atta J. Turk, ESQ, podiatrist to the stars, put up posts knows it is quite early.

And if you are paying that much attention to this blog, perhaps you will be interested in my forthcoming series of collectors' plates?


Or, perhaps the Blogosphere Chess Set, which I also have coming soon. Let me tell you, deciding whether KOS or ATRIOS was going to be King for the left was tough. But that wasn't as difficult as determining who on the right was NOT a pawn. Oh, and the conservatives always insist on playing "white".

But I digress, from my original digression.

When not polishing my hummel figure every morning (no, that isn't a euphamism -- but it should be), I put up posts on this here blog while the Daily Show and Colbert Report from the evening before play in the background. When I first turn on the TV every early morning, on Comedy Central, it is made clear to me that nowadays calypso music is synonomous with drunken young-women of low self-esteem exposing their breasts more than Katherine Harris at a Tallahassee Federalist Society get together.

And that makes me feel sad, despite the happy, upbeat tone of the music. I apologize to you Caribbeans one-and-all: I apologize to you Mr. Raggae Musician; to you Ms. Ganja Merchant; to you Mr. Knicknack stand operator; to you, Ms. Voodoo Doll Manufacturer; to you, Mr. Seven-Up Spokesperson from the 70s; and finally to you Baby Doc, for all such stereotyping. In fact, I personally want to thank all of you for helping Stella with that groove problem of hers.