The one you call Attaturk (or as I call him "Bipedal almost hairless Biscuit Supplier") has left the room. Apparently to do whatever it is he does when he is away from me (and I shudder to contemplate it).
So I am going to take this opportunity to post a few of my thoughts.
Puny humans, how the hell do you things get by? I mean really. You make these noises that are gibberish; you eat different things each day (all of which are better on the floor btw), you clean up my poop; and you cannot smell or hear worth a damn. It's confusing to me.
And your politics, Afghan Hounds could pick better leaders [and believe me those things are dumber than boxelder bugs (which by the way are tasty)]. This doofus you elected, called, at least to the Biscuit Supplier, "You Fucking Dumbshit" is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. He makes Biscuit Supplier seem like a goddamned genius (and believe me, that is damned hard to do because Biscuit Supplier is a total tool. Speaking of which, tools? What the fuck is that about?)
Excuse me for a minute...
You invade places just for the hell of it, instead of just sticking to your territory and defending it from intrusion by others. I mean, you things are insane. You spend like crazy.
You know what the secret to life is? How to get by, well I'll tell you.
It's...excuse me again:
Whew, where was I? I've been awake for at least an hour, so tired...
Ah fuck it.