Atta J. Turks trusty NFL Picks

Well, 2 and 4 again last week makes me 8 and 10 for the year. Straight up. I'm not even picking point spreads just winners. Embarrassing. And yet, ESPN hasn't called me.

I'm determined to break my streak (actually I don't care I'm just filling up post space) so this week, I'm definitely going to go at least 3 and 3.

Detroit at Chicago: Mission accomplished Lions you won. Your year is already a success. Now start living like me and don't get too ambitious. Win or lose you're still going to get paid. Just don't get anyone hurt. The Bears will win big.

Cincy at Cleveland: I told you I'm determined to go at least 3 and 3 this week. After this pick I'm almost a certain 2 and 0. Now I can start picking games as if I'm the Lions and not get too ambitious. I hear that the start of the 2nd Half will have another QB change for the Browns as they are bringing back Frank Ryan -- that guy's a real mangenious.

NY Giants at Kansas City: Oh my, the Giants will kill them and just like that I'm 3 and 0. The Giants could wheel out Charley Connerly armed only with Hank Stram's toupee to play QB and they'd still win going away. I've seen two of the Chief's games this year. I'll say this, they're better than the Browns. Congratulations.

Baltimore at New England: Well, now I'll start picking tough games, games people give a shit about. Baltimore is undefeated and two of them were decisive and against the dregs of the league. There's no glory in beating the Browns by 31. That's like Shakira vs. Tom DeLay in a booty-shake off. The Ravens are a good team, while the jury is kind of out on the Patriots, but I think this is the week the Pats play like the Pats for the second straight week and pull this one out.

Tampa Bay at Washington: Well we picked a good game between two really good teams, lets pick one that features two pretty awful teams in a game that will be decided by field goal kickers. Tampa Bay will unleash it's secret weapon a quarterback who isn't Byron Leftwich. I've never had anything against Mr. Leftwich, he throws a pretty ball, has a lot of zip, is pretty accurate, seems like a nice guy. But he has a windup that last longer than a drunken soft-ball pitcher. That fact alone will make Tampa Bay a touch opponent to handle. However, I swear that Jim Zorn maintains a well-hidden secret agenda of being a serial killer. Just look at the guy, he's hard-core. So I'm taking the Buccaneers in an upset.

Green Bay at Minnesota: Okay, here it is, I'm watching college football at this moment and early in the 3rd Quarter Brent Musberger has dropped about two-dozen plugs for the game. If you don't know Favre is playing against his old team on Monday Night by now, I question your were born in this country and challege you to produce your birth certifcate.

For the rest of you, just mindlessly chant Favre, Favre, Fav-er-ty, Favre over and over again and prepare to ascend into heaven upon Favre's large ebony steed.

Or just vomit, pause, and vomit some more.

Oh, and Vikings win.