Shorter Hitchens

Jesus is the reason for the drinkin'.

But what I really want to know, oh soused one, is now that your War-fightin' Boy Toy has decided to listen in to phone conversations -- especially between you and your non-expats -- how much you love the Chimperor Disgustus now?

You've been incredibly awol.

But there are a lot of open bars this time of year, so I may have been expecting too much.