And furthermore,

I'd like to urge all of you to grow up and join the highest calling, working for Exxon, er, joining the military. Unless, of course, you're a Democrat. In any case, don't count on me being at those memorial services.


Yes, meeting you is ALMOST worth my time.


Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


"Gimme a minute fellas, I got to give some serious head."


"Why thank you, I would like some more shit to eat. I'm very hungry."


"I just want you to know how honorable my party and I think you are for winning a purple heart. Hope you enjoy the medal, and the new screen saver."