Cable News Head: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States"
"I'm George W. Bush.
I'm the guy who is the President when those, um, hurricanes hit.
Maybe that didn't go all that well, heh heh heh. But I don't pay attention to polls.
I'm a doer. Here in my administration we are doers by doin' things. And today, I am doin' more things than ever done been done before. And doin' stuff is hard work, heh heh heh.
Before I go off to the gulf coast and do more stuff, again, 'cause there is stuff to do and I'm a doer, I'd like to do something else.
I would like to remind you that 9/11 changed everything, and it made me do stuff. And some of the stuff I am doin' includes makin' progress in the war on terror. We've done did and done captured the second highest guy of al-Zarwarwar...al-Zarqwawer...abu-Zargraib...a Daquiri for the 27th time.
He can run, but he cannot hide.
I'm done doin'.
God bless 'Murica."
Cable News Head: "President Bush speaking from the White House, about, something."