America's Concern Troll

Having been deservedly named our nation's greatest HACK! how negligent of me to fail to check out Richard Cohen's first column as a sort of vicarious victory lap. How long to find a statement to demonstrate he is, truly, the Alpha Hack in the Hack Sandwich drenched in Hack batter, and then deep fried in the Hack Sauce that is the Washington Post?

Not long.

When, for instance, Bush attempts to justify the Iraq war by saying the world is a better place without Saddam Hussein, Assange could reach into his bag of leaked U.S. government cables and cite Saudi King Abdullah's private observation that the war had given Iraq to Iran as a "gift on a golden platter."

Who could have ever so quickly and nimbly defended such a thing years after the fact?

Like I needed to ask.

The only redeeming element of this wretched war is its moral component -- the desire of some people to do good by ridding the world of a thug and his regime -- and that story, once so simple, has been obfuscated by delays and antics.

Although I suppose it would be sort of funny to see Bush demonstrated to have lied by somebody with documentary cables at hand...and Cohen knows funny.

...until that is someone accuses Assange of being non-credible despite this because of an unrelated and unsubstantiated rape allegation. That sort of thing is valid ONLY if you are an artist and the victim was too young and drugged to consent.

Mein Dreams, kaput!

Julian Assange offered residence in Ecuador. My blogging dreams were for Julian Assange to be offered property in Paraguay adjoining the alleged George W. Bush ranch.

Throw in an ancient German war criminal and you've got yourself a sitcom!

Time to yell at clouds...

McCain angry, Graham scratches ground with foot and whistles, Susan Collins waits for 'Dubya' to chime in, Democrats lay out strategy for shrugging and giving half-hearted effort:

The Pentagon study that argues that gay troops could serve openly without hurting the military's ability to fight is expected to re-ignite debate this month on Capitol Hill over repealing the 17-year-old "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Changey!

Surely there's a TSA agent out there that would settle for a good solid-grope?

Actor Mark Ruffalo has been placed on a terror advisory list by U.S. officials after organizing screenings for a new documentary about natural gas drilling.

The "Zodiac" actor arranged showings for "GasLand" earlier this year and voiced his concerns about the practice in relation to the national water supplies.

Yes, concerns about public safety, how fucking Talibany!

If only there was a gimmick that accomplished nothing

And signaled capitulation?

A-HA!

The media in action

Yes, the good ol' AP pushes as fact this notion, ONLY a silly liberal city could be bothered by the FBI running entrapment schemes that involved training and providing people with bombs.

Soon they’ll truly go too far

Ah, the Village, fortified with irony.

Non-American 'treasonator' Julian Assange (yes, he's that 'powerful') must be stopped before he reveals more inconvenient truths. No, not about things like who both the Saudis and Israelis want us to bomb for them (ah, Sunnis, Jews, and Christians killing together the triune-assholehood), but the really important stuff. They must be stopped before this happens!

Julian Assange: "We have one related to a bank coming up, that’s a megaleak."

Well, now he's engaging in showing how the poor and middle-classed are being screwed class warfare.

Better re-start the irrelevant accusations and/or bombing of this fellow.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

FINALLY, some balance

All these damned years athletes thanking God/Allah/Jesus (does no one ever think of the Holy Ghost?) for helping them win an athletic contest of some kind (ex. 1992 "Thank you God for helping Scott Norwood miss and cursing Buffalo while blessing the sacred Giants").

Finally, some inappropriate blame to go with the misplaced credit!



And why does God hate Buffalo so much...did he vote for McKinley?

Aw, Stevie Johnson, now you've done it!

Bad Journalism

Not confined just to FoxNews, or even America. No, the Brits and their establishment papers can be just fine with it.

And when it comes to international sports corruption, the battle between the Olympics and FIFA for who is worse, continues.

In summary, for the price of a nice junket to Qatar you can have a reporter write a puff piece that overlooks things like virtual slave labor, antisemitism, and a ban on booze.

Self-hate much?

I really am tired of Republicans you know will have near death-bed confessions about how wrong they were when they had the power to actually do something about injustice.

Meet exhibit 1.95 million, Lindsey Graham.

Being informed... Cannot.Have.That.

As the new round, or apparently rounds, of information about what our government has been up to the last few years are released via Wikileaks, a familiar pattern has emerged. The release was allegedly going to be the worst disaster in intelligence EVAH!

But as well summarized by Glenn Greenwald:



Nevertheless, letting taxpayers and citizens of the "Land of the Free" know what is done in their name is just too much for folks like the execrable Long Island Republican Peter King:

“This is worse even than a physical attack on Americans, it’s worse than a military attack”

Yeah, you betcha' Petey, knowledge is after all, power.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

That about sums it up

I suppose I could put up a 'MATLOCK!' post, but just go here and behold the wretchedness of Broder.

Thank goodness

We've finally managed to capture reknowned drug-kingpin Willie Nelson!


USA! USA! USA!

But of course

"Freeance"!

So the U.S. is asking Wikileaks not to release information...but simultaneously refusing to work with Wikileaks to block sensitive information.

How convenient.

The cables are thought to include candid assessments of foreign leaders and governments and could erode trust in the U.S. as a diplomatic partner.

Oh noze, somebody said something bad about Mandela or Walesa, how completely "unanticipated".

Step in the right direction

Russia officially admits Stalin's crimes in regard to the Katyn Massacre.

Now on to the Turks to admit what happened to the Armenians in 1915.

And maybe for a few more Americans to have a more factual knowledge of the bleaker moments of this country's history.

Gifts for the FoxNews viewer

Can't believe they don't have commercials to follow the Goldline Commercials.


via Gizmodo.

Inspiration tricked me

Thinking in the middle of the night just how much more storage room I'll have when I recycle all my old electronics.

Disappointing reality, realizing it won't be all that much more room.

Yes, my life is JUST that exciting.

White Guy vs. Brown Guy

This white guy's house is so loaded with explosives they cannot even safely enter it. Haven't heard much about it on the national news network.

Meanwhile, 19-year old black guy who's Muslim is dumb enough to fall from sting of FBI in Portland (themselves a piece of work, remember that poor immigration lawyer, Brandon Mayfield?) and it's all over the goddamn place.

Just remember

That Black Friday deal on a 60-inch LG plasma comes with a threat to shell your house from Kim Jong-Il.

Congratulations America!

You have now been in Afghanistan longer than the old Soviet Union was...and how'd that all work out in the end?

Hard to believe I know

But I've managed to sleep past the store-openings on 'Black Friday' and missed all the over-priced inventory over-stocked items known as door busters.

I'll try to go on.

Amazing Story on Chris Henry

The late troubled wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals died last year, but his mother made a wonderful decision to donate his organs and ended up saving the lives of several people. Though sometimes these type of stories feel overly manipulative, this one was just flat out amazing.

Something to Read

...in an effort to avoid your loudmouthed brother-in-law (or whichever other annoying person you'll need to deal with today).

What Good is Wall Street?, by John Cassidy.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

Now that takes a pair of small and smooth balls

Norm Coleman is telling Joe Miller to give up in a recount effort?

It isn't over until the fat-lizard-person sings.

"Red Wine-and-Laudanum-Inspired Tales of Wandering"

How do I love thee, Alex Pareene?

Let me count the ways....

Tom DeLay (R - TX): Convicted Felon

That is all.

Happy Thanksgiving, Hegemaniacs!

Now 'America's Concern Troll' belongs

To the ages...

Christ on a Cracker, I thought she could nearly see the damn thing from her porch?!

It's just south of Russia, with a little bit of China in between. It's been in the news a lot...over the last sixty fucking years.

Yeah, every politician misspeaks every once in a while...every single one of them (not even including Bush II). But she's in another, far lower league entirely.

Or maybe I should just say, NOW WHO'S PATRIOTIC AND CHEERING FOR OUR ENEMIES?

AUDIO: Sarah Palin: “We Gotta Stand With Our North Korean Allies”

As Watertiger succinctly puts it, "DERP".

Never were truer words spoken

Alex Pereene's summation of why Jonah Goldberg is a hack completely nails it. As does the whole dirty 30 list. Each and every person belongs, and surely Richard Cohen, Mark Halperin and David Broder are soon to come.

The important point is that the Doughy Pantload will be thrilled to be in the top 7, and wonder who he must eliminate in order to be No. 1...and will K-Lo be one of them?

Speaking of things "certain" people shouldn't be speaking about

In an otherwise ridiculous column (is there any other kind?) already thoroughly taken apart by others, Sally Quinn, yes, Sally Quinn the WaPo's "On Faith" writer (itself a gigantic "fuck you" to sanity) types:

I never remember all Ten Commandments off the top of my head

Yes, Sally, no doubt you cannot and you conveniently forgot it while using the lower-middle of your head repeatedly all those years ago.

Beyond Parody

There are certain people that just shouldn't post paeans to white trash gluttony. And specifically this one:

White Castle Turkey Stuffing

1991 Cookoff Winner

10 White Castle hamburgers, no pickles

1 1/2 cups celery, diced

1 1/4 tsp. ground thyme

1 1/2 tsp. ground sage

3/4 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper

1/4 cup chicken broth

In a large mixing bowl, tear the burgers into pieces and add diced celery and seasonings. Toss and add chicken broth. Toss well. Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting. Makes about 9 cups (enough for a 10- to 12-pound turkey). Note: Allow 1 hamburger for each pound of turkey, which will be the equivalent of 3/4 cup of stuffing per pound.

Even the sycophants to the sycophant are revolting:

Gary Stoneking
11/23/10 13:58

I just threw up a little bit. I'll be OK.

dzymzlzy
11/23/10 13:25

Disgusting.

The ultimate sacrifice

Not enough for the malodorous Jeff Sessions.

Well that's good

My months of occasionally mentioning Dancing with the Stars as opposed to watching one damn second of it even in YouTube form (except for the dancing gorilla thing, WTF?!) has paid off in still having no reason to give a shit except giving me something to post about at three or four in the morning. Imagine how Gawker & Wonkette are grieving?

Now...who's the biggest douchebag on the stupifyingly even more awful sounding figure-skating show that they've vomited up?

Your Privates are not private!

[Ruth Marcus' ideal American]

For Ruth Marcus, the Right to Privacy is a childish notion.

The uproar over the new procedures is overblown and immature. The marginal invasion of privacy is small relative to the potential benefit of averting a terrorist attack...

...Granted, the images from the souped-up screeners are uncomfortably graphic.

But who cares about that, such concerns are childish!

Oh, and those pat-downs?

"Don't touch my junk" may be the cri de coeur - cri de crotch? - of the post-9/11 world, but it's an awfully childish one. We let people touch our junk all the time in medical settings.

So you see ladies and gentlemen, choosing to go to a doctor, is just like mass transportation. So when is United going to start charging me for that hospital gown they'll make wear?

Now please, shut up, turn your head, and cough -- your privates are not private anymore. Who needs that childish Bill of Rights anyway?

(pic via David Masters at flickr.com)

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Barack Obama is the Most Anti-Business President Ever

The fact that corporate profits were the highest ever on record last quarter won't stop the usual suspects from saying so.

I really didn't think this story could be creepier

But I should have known better (i.e. anticipated).

One of the most shocking passages from former President George W. Bush's memoir is the one in which he describes his mother having a miscarriage when he was a teenager. According to him, she put the fetus in a jar and showed it to him as they were driving to the hospital...But on Larry King Live last night, Barbara Bush told a decidedly different story.

"No, the truth is I didn't put it in the jar. ... Paula put it in the jar," she said, referring to the Bushes' longtime housekeeper, Paula Rendon.

Oh dear...

Now this story will cause real internet carnage.

Dogs are 'smarter than cats'

Dogs are cleverer than cats because their friendly character has helped them develop bigger brains, a study set to end the argument between pet lovers has shown...

...For the first time scientists have charted the evolutionary history of the brain across different groups of mammals over 60 million years and identified huge variations in how their brains have changed.

I'm a dog person (though I like cats too), let me make the following argument, FoxNews style (though FoxNews would reach the opposite conclusion).

Cats are smarter than dogs, you know who had a loyal dog friend?

HITLER that's who.

It's a well-known conjectured fact that all cats hated Hitler.

Stopped clocks and America's Concern Troll

And all that.

BTW, are the comments gone from the WaPo editorial page?

Fucking hopeless

This may be the ultimate example of how fucked it all is in Afghanistan:

For months, the secret talks unfolding between Taliban and Afghan leaders to end the war appeared to be showing promise, if only because of the appearance of a certain insurgent leader at one end of the table: Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, one of the most senior commanders in the Taliban movement.

But now, it turns out, Mr. Mansour was apparently not Mr. Mansour at all. In an episode that could have been lifted from a spy novel, United States and Afghan officials now say the Afghan man was an impostor, and high-level discussions conducted with the assistance of NATO appear to have achieved little.

“It’s not him,” said a Western diplomat in Kabul intimately involved in the discussions. “And we gave him a lot of money.”

He must have also said he was a banker.

This will certainly cool things off

Not exactly atypical behavior by the North Koreans, but welcome to your latest international crisis:

North Korea fired barrages of artillery onto a South Korean island near their disputed western border Tuesday, setting buildings ablaze and killing at least one marine after warning the South to halt military drills in the area, South Korean officials said.

The skirmish came amid high tension over North Korea's claim that it has a new uranium enrichment facility and just six weeks after North Korean leader Kim Jong Il unveiled his youngest son Kim Jong Un as his heir apparent.

The Dolt and the Volt

I have no earthly idea what cars like the Chevy Volt and the Nissan Leaf (99 mpg) will mean in the real world. But when evaluating them, I'll leave it to people who know about things like cars, in detail.

But when has the knowledge of a subject ever stopped Rush Limbaugh? Never. No, it doesn't matter if things started under a Republican, if it involves a Democrat in some fashion (a $7,500 tax credit?! -- uh, Socialism?) it must be the same as Hitler and/or Stalin's Death Car:

“Folks, of all the cars, no offense, General Motors, please, but of all the cars in the world, the Chevrolet Volt is the Car of the Year? Motor Trend magazine, that’s the end of them."

Yeah, because folks like Motor Trend NEVER get to test drive cars early. But mostly, I enjoyed this pithy and quite accurate response:

You’ve made two king’s ransoms by convincing legions of dittoheads to tune into you every day. I wonder, do you ever ride in anything that’s not German or Anglo-Saxon? Do you have any idea how powerful IG Metal is, and of the size of Germany’s social safety net?

Of course he hasn't. That sort of thinking is for Kenyan Socialists or any sentient being with a particle of a conscience.

(h/t Charles Pierce)

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Thanksgiving

So what, other than turkey, are you making for Thanksgiving? I'm going to be guest, so I don't have to make the whole dinner, but I was asked to make a pumpkin pie. (I'm going to try this recipe, but if you have a better one, I'd love to hear about it). I'm also going to make popovers using the recipe of my late belle-mère. Do you ever make these bad boys? The best way to do this is with a cast iron popover pan. It weighs a ton, but it makes a heckuva popover. And you can forget about substituting one- or two-percent (or, God forbid, skim) for whole milk and/or skimping on the butter in some misguided effort to save calories and/or your cholesterol, because you just won't get awesome popovers.

Question

Why does Moody's have any credibility whatsoever at this point?

Oh, I see John Cole got here before me. Anyway, what he said.

Earth to Sicklick

There is no right to drive.

John McCain angrier than usual a day earlier than otherwise anticipated

DADT report from the Pentagon will be released a day earlier than planned.

Wonder if the tryptophan will have worn off by then?

The Old Man and the (cannot) See...i.e. MATLOCK!!!

From the nobody (who believes a damn word I type) could have anticipated file, David Broder notices what all other non-beltway sentient types have been pointing out since the late nineties.

Whether it is tax rates or nuclear arms, Republicans are being assertive about their views and challenging Democrats to step up to the fight. Not one sign has appeared so far of any willingness to compromise...

All this signals that they are feeling their oats and will be hard to deal with.

Welcome to the late 20th Century Matlock. You're only a few decades behind now.

Meanwhile, El Shrillo Grande points out the obvious:

The fact is that one of our two great political parties has made it clear that it has no interest in making America governable, unless it’s doing the governing. And that party now controls one house of Congress, which means that the country will not, in fact, be governable without that party’s cooperation — cooperation that won’t be forthcoming.

Elite opinion has been slow to recognize this reality.[...]

Surprise!

But, of course. A mere edited version of her life will not suffice and she can't crank out another 15 kids so TLC will eventually have to end the show.

Sarah Palin has dropped another hint of her intention to run for the White House in 2012, dispatching aides to scope out office space in Iowa, the first stop in the presidential race.

Ooh, I have a suggested location.

Always great to see

The pangs of conscience Republicans get when they retire, as opposed to when they have the capacity to actually act.

Good luck getting through to the "Jesus believes what I say he does" brigade.

Groping for Thee, not for me

Yet another Gate-rape horror story.

Sawyer is a bladder cancer survivor who now wears a urostomy bag, which collects his urine from a stoma, or opening in his stomach...

...“One agent watched as the other used his flat hand to go slowly down my chest. I tried to warn him that he would hit the bag and break the seal on my bag, but he ignored me. Sure enough, the seal was broken and urine started dribbling down my shirt and my leg and into my pants.”

Humiliated, upset and wet, Sawyer said he had to walk through the airport soaked in urine, board his plane and wait until after takeoff before he could clean up.

Meanwhile, for 'America's Apricot Everyman':

Mr. Boehner headed across the Potomac River to Ronald Reagan National Airport, which was bustling with afternoon travelers. There was no waiting for Mr. Boehner, who was escorted around the identification-checking agents, the metal detectors and the body scanners, and whisked directly to the gate.

Humiliation for you, but nobody will touch John Boehner's Orange Julius.

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

A new slogan for the Iowa Bureau of Tourism

Iowa, where you can get gay-married AND we don't look at your junk in our laughably named International Airports.

Of course, you'll get the full looksy pretty much no matter where you're flying in from.

Just gets dumber and dumber

If you fly first class do you actually get to ask for a reach around?

The TSA says the guidelines for its new pat-down are clear. A screener of the same sex will examine your head, shirt collar and waistband, and the screener can use either the front or back of their hand to feel your body, including the buttocks, between the legs, and feeling up to the top of the thigh. Some women may be asked to remove their skirts in a private screening area, and they will be given a towel or gown to put on.

Meanwhile, "I'm just a regular Orange Guy who doesn't need special treatment"...

As he left Washington on Friday, Mr. Boehner headed across the Potomac River to Ronald Reagan National Airport, which was bustling with afternoon travelers. There was no waiting for Mr. Boehner, who was escorted around the identification-checking agents, the metal detectors and the body scanners, and whisked directly to the gate.

Mayor of Methville

Should have been Sarah Palin's personal glass ceiling, but with Babs Bush unleashing the snark on the heals of other female conservatives (say Lisa Murkowski) the fun begins. Funny, but not really unexpected it's the women that have the balls to do what the male politicians won't.

Has someone replaced the Pope with some random Methodist?

First the guy comes out for Universal Health Care, which isn't all that big a break from the past, but good to see reaffirmed, but now this...and this seems rather a big wrinkle in past doctrine.

Pope Benedict XVI says in a new book that condoms can be justified for male prostitutes seeking to stop the spread of HIV, a stunning comment for a church criticized for its opposition to condoms and for a pontiff who has blamed them for making the AIDS crisis worse.

This, however, remains somewhat accurate:

A moment of diversion

This satellite picture of the Swedish island of Gotland as phytoplankton bloom off the coast. As described by a NASA official it really does look like something out of Van Gogh's 'Starry Night'.

Sorry Arizona, Kurt Warner not among them

A couple dozen more Junkers to the College:

Pope Benedict XVI formally created 24 new cardinals on Saturday amid cheers in St. Peter's Basilica, bringing a mostly Italian group into the elite club that will eventually elect his successor.

Ooh, a bunch of Italian Cardinals, now that's goin' all medieval.

Although I'm going to go even on the the Popenfaust this week because he did come out for universal health care, which is a lot more liberal than most Democrats, including the President.

What made Boehner too busy to meet Obama?

Surprisingly enough it wasn't tanning or a golf course, it was holding a press conference...demanding Obama do what Boehner wanted.

Bi-partisany!

What Mistermix says...

IOKIYAR:

There are 17 paragraphs in the New York Times front page story about the START treaty. Fifteen of them are devoted to the giant risk that President Obama is taking in pushing our most vestigial legislative body to hold a fucking vote on a treaty that’s critical for our national security...

...if the tables were turned, and Democrats were opposing START over the wishes of a Republican President, that they’d be mau-maued into next week by the press and Republicans, because our vital and sacred national security is at stake.

Yeah, pretty much

But I'm sure the President is still looking for the magic bipartisanship pony:

There was supposed to be a bipartisan summit at the White House on Thursday, but only the Democrats showed up. The Republican leadership of the House and Senate somehow couldn’t find any time in their schedules to meet with the president of the United States...

Beyond the practical implications of this rudeness, there is an increasingly obvious lack of respect for the president and the presidency, with Republicans interpreting their electoral victory as a mandate to act with hubris. Steny Hoyer, the outgoing House majority leader, noted Thursday that he couldn’t remember a single instance when Democrats did not change their schedule to accommodate a request to meet with President George W. Bush. Mr. McConnell has already made it clear that defeating Mr. Obama is more important than negotiating on legislation. Apparently, that also goes for snubbing Mr. Obama.

If Harry Reid did this to Obama, FoxNews would go apeshit. Instead on FoxNews, Obama doing what Presidents have always done is the one being arrogant...i.e. uppity.

Straight outta High Times

Somebody's knowledge of the mary-ja-wanna is derived from the colorized version of "Reefer Madness".

Federal, state and local officials carrying out a counter-terrorism drill in Northern California Wednesday played out a scenario in which local marijuana growers set off bombs and took over the Shasta Dam, the nation’s second largest, to free an imprisoned comrade.

Uh...

Harral said the drill took 18 months to plan and cost the bureau alone $500,000. The other agencies covered their own costs.

The paper made only passing reference to the scenario's designation of pot growers as terrorist villians.

Braincramping

Roger Ailes soaks through a couple suits while stating this about NPR:

"They are, of course, Nazis. They have a kind of Nazi attitude."

I guess I missed that special edition of 'Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me' staged in Munich, or Click & Clack invading Poland.

Of course, calling somebody a Nazi is 'verboten' only for contributors to some liberal organization, not someone as big as Roger Ailes. Naturally, he was quickly forgiven by Abraham Foxman when he apologized to him...instead of, you know, the people he called Nazis.

While Foxman amiably gives Ailes a pass, a few hours later Glenn Beck once again accuses pre-pubescent li'l George Soros of being Eichman's 'reich-hand' man in Budapest.

But Ailes had a pre-fab justification for this as well:

I wanted to follow up on the Glenn Beck situation with regards to George Soros. I frankly don't feel much guilt because Glenn Beck only used Soros' words and our Brainroom dissected each statement and found them valid.

Wait a minute, FoxNews has a brainroom? They clearly don't use it much.



[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Only she and her TSA junk inspector know for sure

Ann Coulter gets pwned by some other FoxNews talking head and for once in her life has nothing to say:

Coulter, who previously said she's particularly annoyed by these security measures because she travels a lot, seems to have been "fondled" at the airport one too many times, because at the end of this interview she's unable to even make a coherent sentence and tells Johnson she won't ever be coming back to the show with him again.

That's not C-4 you're feeling for $13.50 an hour, TSA employee.

Michael Chiklis looks on helplessly

As the "bad touches" commence.


Not.Creepy.At.All.



Just going to guess but:

1. Magic Underwear doesn't have skidmarks

2. Jews and Leprechauns and their gold, what's that about? Contact goldline.com

3. Socialism is the magic word that equals "negro"

4. Machu Picchu has nothin' on Palmyra, NY.

5. North American Military Brigades Launching Artillery (forgot acronym).

6. The Rusty Trombone.

7. Roger Aisles doused in his twenty-five year old bottle of 'Canoe'.

If you're reading this post

At about the time this is posted and it's clear where you are, go outside look east in the direction of the constellation LEO and look for some meteor showers.

Because I'd hate to let a shitty post go to waste

This was going to go up at FDL this morning, but somebody wrote something about it last night (shakes virtual fist at Thers), so please enjoy this post which discusses the last post and thereby gives two posts to an idiot that really isn't worth one.

Or something...


Elvis would give that man a fried banana sandwich

Sarah Palin, 'Real Housewife of Wasilla', kingmaker, creator of words, mother of lovely, gifted children. In her own mind future President, 2013 to about July 2015 or so, when she resigns to spend more time playing Little Big Planet 2.

How could anyone be sick of it all?

A real 'Murican hero, that's who!

Like most Americans, Steven Cowan has been perplexed by Bristol Palin’s curious ability to keep advancing in TV’s "Dancing with the Stars" competition.

However, unlike other viewers, Cowan, 66, allegedly became so enraged by Palin’s success that he actually fired a shotgun round into his television, triggering a 15-hour standoff with Wisconsin cops.

Now perhaps a smarter person would have changed the channel, or better yet, never watch that wretched show to begin with -- oh and not kept a loaded shotgun nearby. But these are mere trifles in Mr. Cowan's Presley-like act of defiance. I, for one, and perhaps alone, salute you sir for your willingness to take a stand. A rather sad and inappropriately over-the-top stand, but a stand nonetheless.

[Totally NOT cross-posted at Firedoglake]

He almost thought of Twisting an Arm!

A little better, but as usual, will there actually be a real effort? Lame attempts at correcting gigantic tactical errors -- which is giving the Administration a huge benefit of the doubt based on the evidence at hand -- are not enough.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) committed Wednesday night to a full vote that would repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the U.S. military's ban on openly gay servicemembers.

But again, will there be follow through, or just the usual, like this?

Earlier Wednesday, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said President Barack Obama considers the repeal "a priority." He undercut that statement by adding that Obama has not lobbied key swing senators for support, but a later statement by spokesman Shin Inouye claimed that the administration has been reaching out to "dozens" of senators from both parties over the past week.

Yeah, that's real inspiring.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Buddy, this is why blogging and twittering were invented

I mean I sort of understand the feeling, but that's why you don't watch it. But still...

-Like most Americans, Steven Cowan has been perplexed by Bristol Palin’s curious ability to keep advancing in TV’s "Dancing with the Stars" competition.

However, unlike other viewers, Cowan, 66, allegedly became so enraged by Palin’s success that he actually fired a shotgun round into his television, triggering a 15-hour standoff with Wisconsin cops.

It takes a heroic effort to out-dumbass that clan, but congrats Mr. Cowan.

Fly-curious

We have at least one person who is kind of excited about TSA crotch grabbing...after all there's no encyclical against it.



Somebody is going to asking for seatbelt extenders...A LOT!

Bears fan tries to disprove evolutionary theory

By showing you really can ride a Jesus-Horse.



Dude, really, you beat the Vikings and their overpaid Dinosaur when they are on the road, that's no accomplishment.

I don't play cheap games

Of going after the teenage children of politicians with the purpose of making the politician look bad. Because teenagers are by and large, idiots, by nature. Though it's sad when their parents never grew out of that stage.

No, this blog is all about being respectful. Other than cheap generalities and dick jokes, of course.

Which I why I'll be dignified and just link to other blogs that have done so.

Just keeping it fucking classy.

So how will this go?

Is this brilliant, or a little too creepy?

A group of 33 women has taken over the coal mine “Chiflón del Diablo” in Lota, close to Santiago de Chile.

The group is protesting massive layoffs from the Military Job Corps, and have threatened to start a hunger strike 3000 feet below ground, if their jobs are not restored.

The women descended this morning, and locked themselves at the heart of the mine, currently a tourist attraction. They decided to come down as a group of 33, seeking to pressure the government into responding to them the same way they responded to the miners of San José.

And Nicholas Cage can only sigh

To think this would have looked soooooo excellent on the island he bought.

I was researching the upcoming Gifts for Space Nerds Like Me guide when, among the flight jackets and $100,000 Omega Apollo 11 wristwatches, I found that you can buy your own 1:1 replica of the space shuttle.

How much is this thing? A mere $2.2 million. That doesn't include shipping, setup or the interior. If I had the money, I would buy one and make it my house. [Space Toys]

Breaking News: Bush still lying

Ah the Washington Post, editorializing in favor of bombing other nations and preparing for your standardized tests for more than a decade. But it still has a few saving graces.

Take Walter Pincus, who during the Bush Administration frequently pointed out the White House spin on military and intelligence matters was often patently false. Oh, he didn't do this on the front page or the editorial page, he normally did this buried well into the paper, usually around page 17 or so, aka, "The Walter Pincus Page".

Well in the wake of Bush's "memoir" Mr. Pincus is still around to note his falsehoods and illogical arguments.

In one of several passages in the book where he questions his decisions, Bush writes that he should have pushed harder on the intelligence, but adds, "at the time the evidence and logic pointed in the other direction." His most interesting personal reflection follows: "If Saddam doesn't actually have WMD, I asked myself, why on earth would he subject himself to a war he most certainly will lose?"

Hussein did not have those weapons and the inspections were beginning to show it, but neither Bush nor most Americans at the time were prepared to accept the idea that it is almost impossible to prove a negative.

I don't know about the 'most Americans' line, but otherwise it is accurate.

Oh, and it is on Page 29 of yesterday's paper.

So Walter Pincus can't even get on the Walter Pincus Page anymore.

You are serving your corporate masters well Fred Hiatt.

The Cursive Form is clearly symbolic for "LIZARD PEOPLE!"

Joe Miller is going to have to log on to sooooooooooooo many others personal computers in order to defeat Lisa Murkowski.

Even if Miller does go to court, many of the votes that were challenged appear to be clear votes for Murkowski that the court will likely uphold. One vote, for example, was disputed because the "L" in "Lisa" was in cursive.

Like Sarah Palin, Joe don't go for that fancy-pants letterin'.

File under "easy" chuckling

Ultimate white man Pat Boone, teapartier, idiot, is opening, I kid thee not, a mail order meat business.

Yes, Pat Boone...

Mail.Order.Meat!


I think he may have spelled that first part wrong, see unbelievably NSFW original here.

The "Batch" gropers

One does wonder, if you are made to go through the "groin touching" line with the TSA during your travel, just how many of the others in said line are there because THIS is the highlight of their trip?

If I see a bunch of priests and high school janitors in a line with me (i.e. "Cassock and Keys") I think I'll know.

Ol' timey phrases that should make a comeback

"Malefactors of great wealth"

It was good enough for Andrew Jackson and Theodore Roosevelt.

And I will not "refudiate" it, or use proper words that reflect a modicum of education against it either.

All you need know about "Straight-Talk"

Brutal, but completely accurate take down of bigot, John McCain:

Hard to believe but...

People object to the process of flying getting even MORE de-humanizing and wretched:

Revealing full-body scans and genital-touching pat-downs are poised to become a regular fixture of airline travel in the U.S., and people are hopping mad about it...

...A surprising effect of the scans may eventually be a decline in air travel, according to an online Reuters poll. Reuters' readers were asked whether or not they would change their travel plans to avoid the invasive scans and pat-downs, and a whopping 96 percent (65,708 of 68,513) have thus far said yes.

Those numbers could be skewed because one of the plethora of online opponents to the new scanning procedures may have asked readers to go to the site and vote.

On-line polls biased?! Unheard of!

Uh-oh, somebody is going to get an awkward phone demand for apology in 2030

Virginia Thomas could not leave her husband without a conflict now could she?

A spokesperson for Virginia Thomas, the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, denies published reports that Thomas is planning to leave or change her role at Liberty Central, a conservative political group she co-founded in part to energize Tea Party activists.

And never to be discussed within these borders

While we see the wars go on forever...and my how it is truly appreciated, let us not forget some of it's greatest sins.

Former detainees held at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp are in line for government compensation totalling in the millions of pounds.

About a dozen former prisoners, including Binyam Mohamed, will be granted the out-of-court settlement.

They had alleged that British security forces were complicit in their torture before they arrived at Guantanamo.

But that sort of thing is available only for other "less awesome" and "less perfect" countries, like those with socialized medicine. Not for the U.S. of A. Hell, our press will not even talk about this.


[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Jeebus, was a show about "Mad Dog" too high falutin'?

I remember when CBS made an incredibly shitty show about the patently lame Tony Kornheiser as Jason Alexander staked a claim to be the new McLean Stevenson after MASH.

But making a show about this dweeb? He's the Glenn Beck of sports-talk, a genre populated by about 98% Glenn Becks.

There were FIVE or more ridiculous Palin moments last night?

I would have thought the hour demonstrated there was just one...and that was continuous?

Bigot

Let's just summarize it for what he is.

Gigantic, bigoted asshole.

McCain has always said he will reconsider his stance on DADT “the day that the leadership of the military comes to [me]” and says it should be overturned. Yet, when the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Adm. Mike Mullen and Defense Secretary Robert Gates came to McCain in February announcing they were in favor of repealing DADT, McCain invented a new condition — the completion of a study the Pentagon is conducting looking into the repercussions of repealing DADT.

Last month, reports surfaced that the study had found that a majority of American servicemembers would not object to serving alongside openly gay troops. Then this week, sources familiar with the study, which is to be released in December, told the Washington Post that the study had concluded that repealing DADT will not disrupt the military during a time of war. But appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press today, McCain yet again moved the goal posts, deploying his latest stumbling block to repeal. The problem? The study McCain demanded is now not good enough

Some good news from the weekend

I hope it continues to be good...but it often doesn't.

Democracy heroine Aung San Suu Kyi took her first steps back into Myanmar's political minefield Sunday, vowing to press ahead in her decades-long fight for democracy while also calling for compromise with other political parties and the ruling junta.

She's Mandela-like in her bravery, let's hope the end result is as positive.

Rand Paul thinks he won the World Series

For a guy who doesn't believe in government being involved in shit, Rand Paul sure has a lot of expectations:

Rand Paul was on CBS's Face the Nation today to talk about things. He said he didn't like "the language" Obama used during the BP oil spill, and he's still waiting for a congratulatory phonecall.

But really...

The important point is for Glenn Beck to find some way to blame this on young, still in Hungary, teen George Soros.

A secret history of the United States government’s Nazi-hunting operation concludes that American intelligence officials created a “safe haven” in the United States for Nazis and their collaborators after World War II, and it details decades of clashes, often hidden, with other nations over war criminals here and abroad.

Popular only amongst assholes and the beltway...eh, same thing

Sarah Palin a bigger national joke than ever before.

Which is quite an accomplishment all things considered.

Bromance blooms anew

Oh gee, it had been at least a month since John McCain was on "Meet the Press", he returns this morning to be slapped on the back and felt up by dancin' Dave to be feted and fellated.

I'm taking bets on how he will not be asked about his wife calling him pretty much a bigoted old asshole on the subject of DADT repeal...or not, I guess it depends on which number of margarita she's on.

A dark day for all Lizard People

I haven't seen National Geographic's "Great Migrations" so I don't know if this is on the show in stunning high definition but apparently Joe Miller's lawyers are flying south in great haste from Alaska as the Sun sets for a long, long time on his political career.

See ya' on FoxNews a-hole!

Great Pelosi's Head Scarf!!!

Remember when Cap'n "Special Ed" accused Nancy Pelosi, or frankly anybody, of undermining the Preznit's foreign policy via treasonous scarf?

Well, of course, IOKIYAR to undermine Obama.

Cantor Told Netanyahu That GOP 'Will Serve As A Check' On Obama

Well, this is depressing

Mr. President your base would appreciate it if you actually did a bit more than "go through the motions" especially since you seem to be reluctant quite often to seemingly even go through that.

Administration aides spoke of scaling back expectations. Obama, who is already showing a willingness to compromise, bristles at suggestions that he is caving in to the GOP.

Well then maybe, goddammit, you should not have Axelrod out there acting like you'll cave in on the Bush Tax Cuts.

I'm guessing big Beck & Limbaugh fan

BEHOLD THE BASE!

Will go see Sarah Palin during her next appearance at a Sam's Club.

I certainly don't think the lady needs to be threatened, which in the age of the internet is sad -- maybe prosecuted for assault though.

Or perhaps the worst punishment is the video going viral, which it has, or even worst AUTOTUNED because it's getting to the point where that shit violates the Geneva Accords...although being a likely Republican and FoxNews viewer she shouldn't care about that shit.

As soon as her husband remembers who the hell she is, he's gonna be pissed

But not too pissed, he needs the money.

Today, Cindy McCain joined a number of celebrities in a video about gay youth suicide and bullying. Mrs. McCain's part of the video condemned DADT and then accused our government of sending bullies a message that what they do is okay.

The woman basically accused her husband of sharing the blame for gay kids killing themselves.

You stay KKKlassy

A proud day for the heroes of the white right-wing.

Rush Limbaugh suggest Jim Clyburn be Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur.

And Glenn Beck falsely accuses George Soros of once being a young jewish Boy who sent Jews off to die in the Holocaust.


So it must have been one of those "y-ending" days.

Laughing past the graveyard

So George Bush has been killing innocent people for some time?

A DNA test on a single hair has cast doubt on the guilt of a Texas man who was put to death 10 years ago for a liquor-store murder — an execution that went forward after then-Gov. George W. Bush's staff failed to tell him the condemned man was asking for genetic analysis of the strand.

Attorney Barry Scheck believes that had Bush only known, his client would be alive today.

Please, Bush was laughing at the idea, it was the funniest thing since Karla Faye Tucker.

Whoops

It's illustrative of something.

So...

When are Glenn Beck and Randy Quaid either getting gay-married and/or announcing they're running mates in 2012?

Thank goodness

George Bush got that apology from Kanye West.

Now there's not a single goddamned bad moment in his whole Presidency.

Peggy Noonan (the interviewer): You were separated on September 11th. What was it like when you saw each other again?

Laura Bush: Well, we just hugged. I think there was a certain amount of security in being with each other than being apart.

George W. Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, “you’ll be sleeping downstairs. Washington’s still a dangerous place.” And I said no, I can’t sleep down there, the bed didn’t look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we’re going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, “We’re under attack. We need you downstairs,” and so there we go. I’m in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I’m barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I’m holding Laura —

Laura Bush: I don’t have my contacts in , and I’m in my fuzzy house slippers —

George W. Bush: And this guy’s out of breath, and we’re heading straight down to the basement because there’s an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it’s a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back up stairs and go to bed.

Mrs. Bush: And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.

Peggy Noonan (interviewer): So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.

George W. Bush: That’s right — we got a laugh out of it.

It's becoming clear

That Frank Herbert was on to something, but that the "spice" is actually off the Taco Bell menu.

Two enormous, gamma-ray-emitting structures are bubbling out of the center of our galaxy. And astronomers have no idea what caused them.

So now we finally know the answer to this question:

Media Outrage in action

A creepy, very creepy, book was languishing in sales at Amazon, until our awesome medial got on the case...and now pedophiles around the world (which undoubtedly form a high quotient of the cable news audience) are [insert double entendre here] it up.

Not fancy and no feast for the lot of you

Well, what lovely timing.

President Barack Obama's top adviser suggested to The Huffington Post late Wednesday that the administration is ready to accept an across-the-board continuation of steep Bush-era tax cuts, including those for the wealthiest taxpayers.

And guess who else they are waiting on?

Also dealing "with the world as we find it," Axelrod declined repeatedly to comment on any of the controversial debt-reduction measures suggested by the chairs of the president's own commission -- even those, such as raising the Social Security retirement age, that go against Obama campaign pledges and strike at the heart of Democratic constituencies.

He said that the White House would wait until the commission made its final recommendations on Dec. 1 before adding, "the president's commitments haven't changed."

The whole point of a commitment, is to be, y'know, committed about it.

"The World as we find it". Inspiring.

Not even decent cat food, just dry crap from an Aldi.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

I Write Letters

Looks like it's time for me to re-send this letter.

It's the new "I don't recall"

Bush sure seems to avoid any and all difficult questions the new way (other than being interviewed only by Hannity and Cavuto), "It's in the book!"

It's like Reagan's Iran-Contra Testimony's "I don't recall" trope with even more douchiness.

Not that Bush doesn't still outrageously lie about shit.

Update:

This is nice.

If you're going to be a dick

At least be funny.

But to be a 'Dick' by doing what comes naturally and doing it in a non-funny way, well it's no longer being a 'Dick' it's being a 'Tucker'.

The real Lizard Person revealed

A vote for Lizard People is a vote for Joe Miller!

Miller's lawyer has another argument. Namely, that ballots with mispellings of Murkowski's name should be interpreted not as votes for her but rather as protest votes against her.

Not Giving a Tinker's Damn

Just over forty years ago, due to events in my very own flyover city, came the Supreme Court case that stated "It can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate."

But apparently, that speech didn't include weed.

And now, thanks to the awesome conservatives of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, it also doesn't include your right to silently oppose having been raped.

Well okay, I suppose...wait...WHAT?!

Say you're a sixteen year old girl who is a cheerleader in a small Texas town raped by the guy taking a free throw surrounded in a town full of tragically ironic, modern-day, Bob Ewells. It's bad enough he raped you, damned if you're going to cheer for him by name. So you sit and stay silent. You don't scream at him, you don't do anything but sit silently. In return you are removed from the cheerleading squad by the school the way Chuck Connors was kicked out of the army. That sure seems wrong, so you file suit alleging your First Amendment Rights were violated.

Well, you lose. Because, "You young lady", according to the Fifth Circuit, "are a disgrace to your avocation!"

"In her capacity as cheerleader, H.S. served as a mouthpiece through which (the district) could disseminate speech - namely, support for its athletic teams," the three-judge panel said in a Sept. 16 ruling.

The district "had no duty to promote H.S.'s message by allowing her to cheer or not cheer, as she saw fit," the court said. "Moreover, this act constituted substantial interference with the work of the school because, as a cheerleader, H.S. was at the basketball game for the purpose of cheering."

So "Go Team!" is protected speech, but silently protesting your rape is frivolous and verboten. This very special edition of Texas Justice is brought to you by the conservative movement and folks in the Gang of Fourteen, including "Short-Ride Joe" Lieberman.

The panel consisted of three of the court's most conservative judges: Emilio Garza and Edith Clement, both of whom were once on President George W. Bush's short list for a Supreme Court vacancy, and Priscilla Owen, a Bush appointee whose confirmation was slowed by a Democratic filibuster.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

As I said before

Republican Joe Miller Already Calling Foul Play In Alaska Ballot Count

M-u-r-k-o-w-s-k-i is Inuit for Lizard People.

(photo from here)

Wake me when it becomes Animatronic

Because walking lazer-shooting-out-of-eyes giant Jesus would be -- hell must be -- a coming Michael Bay project, and subject of Ricky Bobby prayer.

That can be defeated ONLY by shooting at his balls.


The important thing for John Turturro is that the check cleared.

(photo via REUTERS/Kacper Pempel)

Yes, this is EXACTLY the way Doritos work

They transform day into night and turn you into a size 2!


And what is sexier than Dorito Breath?


...oh, yes, we have a wide-variety of oft-salmonella free Pringle and Dorito flavors in this world.

Still no cure for cancer.

Rage-cation

You may remember, whether you'd like to or not, the story of Andrew Shirvell the assistant Michigan AG who decided to spend his free (and other) time stalking, abusing, and harassing a gay University of Michigan student. Well, Mr. Shirvell has finally been fired.

So now he can devote more time to being an asshole. Roger Ailes be must phoning, texting, faxing, and emailing his tiny, overworked, little heart out to add him as a FoxNews All-Star.

So we better keep him busy.

Perhaps he could be hired as a ballot counter in Alaska and proclaim "Murkowski" is the Inuit word for "Lizard People"? (RH readers may have heard this joke recently).

Maybe he can travel the globe and declare whose Jesus is bigger than another's Jesus (America ironically ineligible through Act of God).

He's young enough to enlist in the military, and pathetically able to serve openly while being an asshole.

Or course the Taliban (non-American branch) is hiring.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Coming soon to Alaska

Joe Miller proclaims that "Murkowski" is the Inuit word for "Lizard People"!

The only way this guy could be more awesome

Is if he immediately replaced Bristol Palin on 'Dancing with the Stars'*

Edison Peña could be forgiven for having to slow to a walk at times during the New York City Marathon on Sunday. His training, after all, came via subterranean loops of only a few miles at a time, with the tunnels of a collapsed gold and copper mine for a course and sawed-off work boots for footwear.

But after fighting through knee pain to jog across the finish line in under six hours, Peña wanted to clear something up.

“First of all, I want to say that I would have run faster,” he said. “And I did run faster in the mine.”

*Okay, maybe there are a ton of things more awesome than that...I panicked.

You call that a 'money shot'?

This is a money shot!

An adult book store in Detroit on Saturday sold someone a $128 million Powerball ticket, but the winner has yet to come forward.

Ha ha, now everyone knows you masturbate...here's $128 million dollars.

Awe...

The Pope, he is angry about secularists...looks like somebody wants to join the Teabaggers...perhaps I should rephrase? NAH!

Pope Benedict XVI is in Spain right now to chastise that country for being too secular. So he was greeted in Barcelona today by about 200 gays and lesbians who staged a "kiss in" along the Popemobile's route.

AWESOME!



(pic via Getty Images)