Katherine Harris In History

Its not often that a marginally successful person gets to have more than one big lie moment in their life. Those are usually reserved for the fully successful people.

Of course, Katherine Harris managed to declare the man who belonged to her Party, President (and the brother of the Governor of her state) -- of course it helped to throw out the votes of about 20,000 black people, but you know if you cannot lie big, why lie at all?

Now Ms. Harris, for some reason pulled this whopper out of her ass while, in all places, Carmel, Indiana:

She told the audience that while in the Midwest recently, the mayor told her about a plot in Carmel and how a man of Middle Eastern heritage had been arrested and hundreds of pounds of explosives were found in his home.

"He had plans to blow up the area's entire power grid," she said, according to the newspaper.

Naturally, this was a complete and utter lie.

Of course Katherine Harris used to look like this:


Now she looks like this:


Clearly honesty (and vaseline on lenses) is her policy.

There has been a Ms. Harris quite often in history -- and amazingly enough, there's always been a "CNN's Kelli Arena" to interview them.

Kiev, 1906

KELLI: Judy, sources have confirmed that they have obtained detailed records, a "master plan" is what they told me of the "vast Jewish international conspiracy comprised of both bankers and the drinkers of children's blood". These individuals are determined to undermine the stability of the international order, as well as the Romanov Government itself. This is that book right here in my hand. With me is Deputy Director of Motherland Security, Katerina Harrisova. Madame Harrisova can you update us on the situation?

KH: Yes, Kelly, this morning I was talking to the Mayor of Smolensk, and he informed me that the international zionists were planning on destroying the city's large beet deposits, which, as you know, power the peasant grid throughout the Southern corridor of the country. Obviously, this is a very dangerous situation.

JUDY: Kelli? Kelli, this is Judy Woodrovskiya here in St. Petersburg. Kelli, some of the critics of the Romanov government, in particular known-international criminal Howard Deanovich assert that this information seems suspicious and just like last year when the Romanov Government was in trouble, they assert there is danger from Jews. Deanovich has claimed that this "master plan" as you call it was actually written nearly a decade ago and that the evidence within it is not credible. Can the two of you discuss that for a moment.

KELLI: Sure, Judi Alhuntswifeovich. I can tell you that my sources within the Romanov Administration were asked by me about that and those insider responses say that: First, the information is more recent than that and that plans for attacking various produce storage bins and Christian Orphanages were found upon notes in a Torah upon the Battleship Potemkin in the last several months. However, they said they could tell me no more than that for matters of Orthodox Security. Ms. Harrisova can you tell us any more?

KH: Well Kelli, the Department of Motherland Security DOES NOT PLAY POLITICS! The statements of Mr. Deanovich are clearly an attempt to coddle these Jewish Swine and ignore the fact that but for the Holy Blessing of God upon our most righteous and blessed Czar Nicholas, such evidence would never be uncovered. The finding and use of these documents and their availability to the public is an indication of how great and benevolent a leader our blessed Czar is, while Dr. Deanovich would coddle these Jews and refuse to take offensive against them through sham trials and pogroms. Why does Dr. Deanovich hate the blood libel? Thanks to the Leadership of the Czar, the RUSSIAN PEOPLE ARE SAFER, even though the Jewish Cabal is more dangerous than ever!

KELLI: Ms. Harrisova, have you at the Motherland Security Department made any changes or recommendations to the people?

KH: Yes, Kelli Makeitupoutofyourassovich, we at the Motherland Security Department have declared Condition оранжевый [Ed: Orange-ovich] and as you know that means that we go on the OFFENSIVE and encourage our citizens to get out their pitchforks and torches and march upon the Jewish Community of your choice and do what you can to diminish this threat. Oh, and don't break the nice stuff.

KELLI: Thank you Ms. Harrisova, back to you, Judy Mygodlookatyourturkeyneckovich.