Thursday, July 22, 2004

Kelli Arena -- She WAS There

Digby has a short post in regard to manufacturing hosiery related scandal today. Perhaps CNN's worst reporter (and that is saying something) Ms. Arena belongs more in that special talented news reporter world of Fox News, where a pretty orange glow is far more important than actual reporting chops [unless you are a gal who is also a Fundy Nut Job -- like the ever growing Rita Crosby].

Earlier this year, Ms. Arena reported that "SOME" people speculated that bin Laden and his supporters believed it would be better for them if John Kerry were elected President. Undoubtedly that came from, as Digby puts it, Ms. Arena's "special friend" in the Bush Administration.

Of course, no one knows what the hell bin Laden wants. However, I'm willing to bet you can make a pretty sound argument he'd like the guy who created the current Hornet's Nest that is far more convincing. That being said, I'd put money on the proposition that -- NO MATTER WHO IS PRESIDENT OSAMA WILL HATE 'EM JUST AS MUCH AS BUSH.

Nonetheless, Ms. Arena has a tendency to be, shall we say, a complete and utter White House stooge. Her most recent report, as stated by Joe Wilson fetishist Bob Sommersby is:

ARENA (7/20/04): Law enforcement sources say Archives staff told FBI agents they saw Berger placing items in his jacket and pants. There was no camera in the room. Those sources also say one Archives staffer told agents Berger placed something in his socks which Berger associates heatedly deny.


-- Anonymous staffer
-- "Something"
-- In socks

And this becomes "Sandy Berger placed documents in his socks".


And thus we present, Kelli Arena throughout "alternative" History!! (cue Roman Horn Section):

The East Coast of the Aegean app. 1200 B.C.:

"Wolf, sources from the Priam Administration tell me that the Greeks fled and in great fear left a large wooden DONKEY in tribute to their Trojan vanquishers. It's clear, they reported, that Poseidon is believed to clearly favor the rule of Priam to that of Agamemnon."

Western Coast of Greece 31 B.C.

"Wolf, sources close to Anthony's camp say that they fully expect the Roman Citizenry to realize that Octavian is not Ceasar and the Legions will perform badly on ships, clearly favoring Antony and his very popular Egyptian wife."

Worms, Germany, 1521

"Wolf, sources close to God tell me that there is speculation that the Almighty and/or Frederick the Wise prefers the Pope Leo the Tenth over the radical cleric Martin Luther and the latter will soon be smited."

Spain, 1588

"Wolf, sources close to King Phillip tell me that the Duke of Medina Sodonia was an inspired choice to lead a sea battle, and that fate will certainly prefer his command over that of liberal protestant Sir Francis Drake."

Richmond, Virginia Spring 1863

"Wolf, sources close to the Davis Administration say that a plan is afoot which will be clearly preferable to the oppressed wage slaves of the North and they will rally behind General Lee and his army to overthrow and defeat the liberal Abraham Lincoln."

Paris, 1894

"Wolf, sources close to the investigation tell me that before visiting the German military attache, Captain Dreyfus -- who as we know is JEWISH -- was seen placing papers in his socks".

Sarajevo 1914

"Wolf, sources close to the Archduke have speculated that the visit to Bosnia is sure to solidify the love the people have for them and stabilize the situation in Europe."

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