Chickenhawk Excuse Roll Call

Just in time for the Republican Convention, Tom Robbins has given us a useful list of the chickenhawks and their pitiful excuses for avoiding service to this country in war time. So, we here at the Rising Hegemon believe that it is our duty to list additional reasons that these right-wingers could have avoided military service:

1) I just don't want to go
2) The Vietnamese have bad drugs
3) Hard to prepare for world domination while getting your ass shot off
4) Multiple dental appointments
5) Did not want to miss my favorite TV shows
6) It is too hot over there
7) The jungle will mess with my allergies
8) Too hard to exploit tax loop holes while in the jungle
9) I am too busy
10) Are you kidding?
11) I am too important
12) Don't believe everything you read, I am not that patriotic!
13) Do as I say, not as I do