Friday, December 17, 2004

I Think the Press has Erred Regarding the Bin Laden Tape

They have not informed us, for example, what Al Jazeera really found. That the Osama tape is actually...

THE AL QAEDA CHRISTMAS SPECIAL



Here are some scenes:

Announcer: From a fairly well-known location in the Northern Pakistani Tribal Homelands scrupulously avoided by the Pakistani Army, its the Al Qaeda Wrong Denominational Christmas Special for the irritation of the infidel pagan capitalist jew-loving trinity believers.

Starring Osama bin Laden, Al Zawahiri, and live via satellite a very surprised Al Zarqawi, with special guests, infidel Kathy Lee Gifford, infidel Steve & Edie Gourmet, infidel Toby Keith, and live from hell the condemned for all eternity duo of Yassir Arafat and Bob Hope with his 2004 Texaco All-College All-American Football team. But first here they are the Ray Al-Conniff singers and the burkaed June Taylor Dancers!

[celebratory machine gun fire]

(to the tune of Merry Little Christmas)

Have yourself an ol' Al Qaeda Christmas,

Let your heart be light

From now on,the jews will be out of sight

Have yourself an ol' Al Qaeda Christmas,

The Infidels are gay,

From now on,the search parties will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,

happy golden days of yore.

Faithful friends who are dear to us

gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together

If the Fates allow

Hang a pagan's head upon the highest bough.

And have yourself a ol Al Qaeda Christmas now.

Announcer: And now, the ever Shiek, the Iman with the Plan, shoot your guns off in the air for Ooooooooooooooooooosama bin Laden.




Later on, will come this touching recreation of a classic Christmas special moment:

...enjoy as Osama and special guest Kathy Lee Gifford recreate the magic of Bing & Bowie singing "The Little Drummer Boy"!!!

Flee they told me
pa rum pum pum bomb
A bold new chimp to see,
pa rum pum pum bomb


And there will be banter, Osama issues a "Fatwah" against Frank Gifford for cheating on such a beautiful natural redheaded woman...who should really be kept in her house and burkaed


Another clip, Osama: And Kathy, I shall declare jihad against Regis, who is cursed by the devil's dogs for his unceasing cheering for the infidel college that is Notre Dame.



Freedom is on the march, bitches.

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