Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Lies Away!

The he'll say anything strategy in action:

EUCLID, Ohio (AP) — Campaigning in the backyard of America's auto industry, Mitt Romney re-ignited the bailout debate by suggesting he deserves "a lot of credit" for the recent successes of the nation's largest car companies.

That claims comes in spite of his stance that Detroit should have been allowed to go bankrupt.
Next up,

* Unlike some people, Mitt Romney will ACTUALLY claim to have invented the internet.

* Last Spring you didn't see much of Mitt Romney because he was the leader of Seal Team Six.

* Mitt Romney personally, at the age of 9 dressed up as a middle-aged black woman named Rosa Parks and launched the Civil Rights Movement...as black people did not yet exist in 1955.  Simultaneously, though he doesn't want to admit it, Mitt Romney invented drag and lauched both Milton Berle's and Ru Paul's career (job creator!!!)
* Mitt Romney also invented dental floss, Sponge Bob, the Jarvik Heart and Kettle Korn.

* Mitt Romney saved Latin, what did you ever do?

* He also gave a kidney to save Ferris.

* Spent much of 1967 brainwashing his dad.

* Mitt Romney would have won the Vietnam War from France...telekinetically, but for the fact his conduit was shot in the back by John Kerry AND Bob Kerrey.

* Romney once had a conversation with Nixon that lasted 18 minutes...and it saved the world. Although it was also coaching pointers for Don Shula's 1972 Dolphins before the season started.

* Mitt took a bullet for Reagan.

* Mitt Romney spiked the hippies acid at Woodstock.

* Mitt Romney tried to warn NASA about cryogenic tanks, but took matters into his own hands to bring Apollo 13 home, only to have liberal Tom Hanks and Opie Cunningham write him out of the script.


DanF said...

Mitt Romney was the brains behind the Raid on Entebe!

Raoul Paste said...

he was the leader of Seal Team Six.

Can an SNL skit be far behind?.

pansypoo said...

rmoney, sooper publikan!

jimmiraybob said...

Can't you just hear the egomaniac Trump making such an outlandish claim? Just two corporate peas in a corporate pod.

Montag said...

Yup, and Einstein asked the young Rmoney for help with math.

And he was John Wayne's stunt double.

And the Rmoneybot knows where to find D.B. Cooper.

And he retrieved Baby Jessica from the well.

Yep, that's the ticket....

Anonymous said...

And in his spare time, Mitt Rmoney wrote that best-selling children's book series, "Captain Magic Underpants".

Anonymous said...

Bullshit. Mitt-3-PO doesn't know jack shit about cryogenics. He was the first man to walk on the Moon on the top secret Apollo 10 and a half mission.