Monday, December 14, 2009

Boot the bitter ol' bastard


Who needs him? Follow the assholery chronologically here ... and, of course, the "last honest" douche goes back even farther.

Who needs him? Boot him out of conference and strip his chairmanship. Fuck him. He's nothing but a war mongering tool of BigPharma.

Let him go on FoxNews 24/7 and whine about it.

Sorry Dipshits wrong again

I suppose I should wait and see what noted climatologist Sarah Palin's Facebook page says but:

Leading scientists, including a Nobel Prize-winner, have rounded on studies used by climate sceptics to show that global warming is a natural phenomenon connected with sunspots, rather than the result of the man-made emissions of carbon dioxide.

The researchers – all experts in climate or solar science – have told The Independent that the scientific evidence continually cited by sceptics to promote the idea of sunspots being the cause of global warming is deeply flawed.

Good

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I have real problems with the use of drones. I can understand their occasional requirement, but they can easily make matters worse and at heart the numbers of civilians killed brings into question whether we are on any moral ground higher than Al Qaeda's leaders when we use them widely. So this at least has some good news:

One person standing in the way of expanded missile strikes: President Obama. Five administration officials tell NEWSWEEK that the president has sided with political and diplomatic advisers who argue that widening the scope of the drone attacks would be risky and unwise. Obama is concerned that firing missiles into urban areas like Quetta, where intelligence reports suggest that Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar and other high-level militants have sometimes taken shelter, would greatly increase the risk of civilian casualties.

This sums it up about right

Let's face it, there are many douchebags in the Senate. The entirety of the Oklahoma contingent Inhofe & Coburn think soap operas are real. But the two that most enjoy being pricks, just do whatever they can to poke their finger in the eye of what most Americans want are nominally in the Democratic Party.

If there are two more immoral scumbags than Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman who have been in the Senate it must have been the day Theodore Bilbo cloned himself.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

They are all magically interconnected in their thoughts...

Obama will be interviewed on 60 Minutes tonight.

Over/Under that, as a black guy, he will be asked to comment on Tiger Woods?

And the American media says, "that's interesting, but this black celebrity slept with many blonde women!"

Ah, the wonders of our media age, such well-placed priorities.

Remember years ago when the UK's weapons inspector, who opposed the Iraq War suddenly died?

The said it was suicide...well, not so fast:

A team of eight UK medical experts say that Dr David Kelly, a leading weapons inspector who was at the centre of a row about why Britain went to war in Iraq, was unlikely to have committed suicide.


In Great Britain, thanks to the fact that investigations actually occur to hold past Administrations accountable...as opposed to here...the shit is hitting the fan. Witness the crazed dancing of Tony Blair coming to terms with the consequences of his actions.

But in this country Dick Cheney and his spawn are allowed to lie without even being challenged in interviews, let alone be accountable for their war mongering.

What do ya' know?

Joe Lieberman is on the Sunday Chat Lineup today.

Query, since say December 2007, 104 weeks...how many of those weeks have managed to have a Sunday pass without either Joe Lieberman, John McCain or Lindsey Graham on one of these shows?

I would less than half.

Another day

Another dollar for Ombsbudman Andy ignoring how the Washington Post decided publishing a moron's facebook page as an Editorial on the basis of she's famous was an awesome idea.

Atta J. Turk's pretty trusty NFL Picks

Another week another series of completely unprofitable straight-up winners that don't involve a point spread because you'd be an idiot to listen to my suggestions about what games to bet on. Nevertheless, a 5 and 1 week marred only by the the absolutely tremendous game the Cardinals turned in against the Vikings. That makes me 51 and 27 -- and extremely non-rich because of it. Good thing I didn't discuss the recent Steeler or Patriot games. Dodged a few bullets there.

Lions at Ravens. This is an example of a game you pick that helps you achieve a 51 and 27 record. The Ravens are freaking desperate and coming off a dog of a performance against the Packers. The Lions are coming off 33 dog-like weeks out of the last 36. On the other hand in real life, I'd like the odds of a Lion versus a Raven. But this is football life and I'm not insane, just off. Ravens will win fairly big.

Broncos at Colts: This is how the season works out for the Broncos. Won six in a row; lost four in a row; won two in a row. Pretty impressive, except here are the stats for the Colts, won 20 21 in a row. Peyton Manning and his gargantuan "Metalunan Forehead" will come through again. Take the Colts.

Dolphins at Jaguars
: Well, twelve games into the season I have managed to never give a shit about the Jacksonville Jaguars thinking they cannot possibly be a team worth really considering as y'know good. Certainly my feelings are no different than the people who actually live in proximity to the Jacksonville Jaguars who routinely play to just over 40,000 fans. Now, all of the sudden the Jaguars at 7 and 5 would be in the playoffs if the season ended today. But, of course, the season doesn't end today and the Dolphins will win.

Bills at Chiefs
: Ah, truly who gives a shit?. Take the Chiefs and forget the game was ever played.

Bengals at Vikings
: Ah, the Ochocinco's vs. the Favres. A man who seeks nothing less than to be noticed against the man who is far too often noticed. Apparently Ol' Chad now wants to be called a Japanese name and threatened to go up to the ridiculous Viking mascot and 'blow his horn'. What will we tell the children?! The league just fined "Johnson" $30,000 for trying to cast a charm spell to keep Lou Dobbs out of Cincinnati (for which he should be thanked). This should be a close game, but I'm giong to guess the Vikings will be pissed about how they played last week, as opposed to folding like they so often have -- and yes, that's my 'inner homer' talking. Take the Vikes.

Eagles at Cowboys
: I'm a big fan of chaos, at least in stuff that doesn't really matter much -- when it matters, not a big fan. In fact, I'm a lousy anarchist. I'm really bad at doing stuff like making small bombs and tossing them at Constitional Monarchs and their estranged wives and nephews. Apparently, this is something I have in common with most people, especially in this modern age. Plus, I've never really had anything against McKinley until I found out Karl Rove liked him. But in football, chaos is awesome. If the Cowboys lose to the Chargers (and I think they will, but I'm not picking the game) and the Giants beat the Eagles, three teams will be 8 and 5 in that division. Awesome. And just for that fact, I'm taking the Giants.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Outrageous Fortune

Looks like I picked the right time to watch two unexiting teams

As mentioned below, Wigan had on some really awful outfits today, but this goal was amazing. Just unbelievable:

"You bastard, I said let-go my Eggo!"



[From here, including the obvious joke]

Ah, my annual weekend bit of soft-treason

I do love really earning morning English Premier League on ESPN2 in hi-def. Stoke has been nominally adopted as my team. Wigan on the other hand, their electric-orange away kit (see I'm learning the language) would be good for deer-season and traffic alerts.

One gets the feeling that working for Michael Steele

Is a LOT like working for the fictional Michael Scott.

With lots of posing.

Just put them on a really shitty wedding cake

John Cole notices that the village press corps is dry humping South Dakota's John Thune as a serious up and comer in the GOP because he has a "pretty face". No discussion of his right-wing and moronic policies. So just get the amateur porn of him and Sarah Palin over with and launch their campaigns already.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I guess this must not fail the Chuck Todd, "that's not news" goatee tingler?


McCain has emerged as one of the leading critics of the new president.


I guess the 3 billion appearances on the major news programs since January 20th was their first clue, huh?

(pic via AP -- and apparently it involved his review of whatever low-cut v-neck Meghan threw on that morning)

In the Twittery Wilds

Today's celebri-twatter is notable, and objectively proven, highly-paid dim bulb Wolf Blitzer who has taken up the twittering.

Going to his page, you'll note that Wolf nee Leslie Blitzer is solely focused on literally giving you a play-by-play of a Washington Wizards game.

It's very Rainmanesque:

Somethings should be left untried

Iowa, though not ever, ever, newsworthy outside of our quadrennial beauty pageant (see, Todd, Chuck) and gay marriages still should not take advantage of our obscurity to try things like white-guy rap.

Tackling the Important Stuff

As the Washington Post editors admit they'll publish any ol' bullshit a Republican wants to crap out unedited and unverified, it appears that Andy "Andy" Alexander the Ombudsman is taking a few days off -- conveniently.

But before he departed for his appointment to catch up with "As the World Turns" he did have one parting post of important journalistic "integritude"

Post movie listings are "reinstated"

A long-running battle between The Post and theater operators over paid movie listings appears to be over, with the theaters getting their way.


Whew, the Pulitzers are gonna make it rain now.

Well, at least we now have new nicknames for him

Apparently, nepotism only carries one so far, even a Tracy Flick impersonator:

CNN’s Jay McMichael was the top vote getter in the Radio & Television Correspondence Association board elections today.

NBC’s Luke Russert, who ran a high stakes “Vote for Vigor” campaign, complete with fancy cupcakes, ultimately lost


"Fancy Cupcakes", which by the way, should I ever become President (a real unlikelihood considering how "the man" will keep me down) would be my Secret Service codename.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

How could she not be?

She was plainly born for the honor.


But it's pronounced 'Throatwarbler Mangrove'.



Via Atrios, obviously.

Banned Words of 2010™: War on Christmas Update

Time to start culling the list, even though I'm adding to it here. What needs to stay? What must go? The list can't be longer than ten once the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. New items in BOLD. Stuff I'm striking is, well, stricken.

Because it's never too early to put the world on notice...
  1. Slams. As in "X slams Y'. Biggest offenders: The Huffington Post and TalkingPointsMemo.
  2. Dither/Dithering
  3. Granular (suggested by Professor Wagstaff)
  4. Skill Set (suggested by Professor Wagstaff)
  5. Shrill (suggested by AndyMN)
  6. [INSERT SUBJECT OF SCANDAL DU JOUR HERE]-gate, e.g., "Custard-gate", "Gates-gate", etc. (suggested by noblejoanie)
  7. Gamechanger
  8. Recession
  9. Sausage grinder (re the legislative process)
  10. Gunman
  11. Bonus
  12. Teachable Moment
  13. Lockdown
  14. Too big to fail
  15. Octomom
  16. Toxic assets
  17. Stress Test
  18. Obamism
  19. Color Story
  20. Green shoots (re the economy)
  21. Temperament
  22. The New New (or The New Normal)
  23. Twitter
  24. Bánh mì
  25. Swarovski crystals
  26. Empathy
  27. New media, including but not limited to "Social Networking"
  28. Tablescape
  29. Closely watched yardstick
  30. Compromise/Bipartisan
  31. Emboldened
  32. Cougar
  33. Serious
  34. Walk back (As in "Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum is walking back his comments about party boss Rush Limbaugh."
  35. Baby Bump
  36. Fascism
  37. Statement Jewelry
  38. Perfidious (This one is Steve Simels' fault.)
  39. Gang of [INSERT NUMBER OF SENATORS HERE]
  40. Socialism
  41. Digital
  42. Czar/Tsar
  43. Devastate/Devastated/Devastating
  44. Post-Racial

A special Thursday Edition of....AMERICA'S CONCERN TROLL


Apparently, Richard Cohen took time from his busy schedule of, well, um...cross-wording...to comment on Obama's Nobel Speech. And, as you might expect, made himself come across as a microbial example of the pettiness of man in the effort:

But neither was this a man who could point to his own life as an example of almost anything.


That's right folks, our nation's first African-American President is a complete and utter cipher both internally and externally.

In one swipe sentence Cohen manages to slander both the man and Country.

Good job Dicky!

This is why Lou Dobbs better watch out

From Time Magazines year-in-pictures:


Mexican wrestler Blue Demon speaks on a phone as he arrives at Mexican President Felipe Calderón's third annual state-of-the-nation address in Mexico City.

Thanks so much

Driving on the shitty-ass roads of Des Moines...staying off the interstate because it was almost entirely black ice because the road-crews are financially limited in what they can do. Two thoughts went through my mind during those moments that were not filled with anxiety and/or terror.

First, an addition round of FUCK YOU CHUCK TODD!!! (now with bonus exclamation points).

Second, and more substantially, thanks so much Olympia Snowe for keeping the size of the Stimulus down by taking away that money designated to help out State and Local government.

Was it his autographed copy of "The Fountainhead"?

Eighty-Seven year old WWII Vet returns book he took from Hitler's residence. Library fine to be handled by TARP funds.

Coming Up from the Li'lest Russ -- An Expose on Affirmative Action

This is truly revolting.

I know that somehow growing up middle class in the Midwest and then haveing the temerity to become a liberal instantly makes me an 'elitist', but God forbid the children of the wealthy and well-placed be denied a chance to have a swell job based on someone else's merits.

Glenn Beck to his demographic — You’re all socialists!


Sarah Palin declares Mao-hats for everyone! Glenn Beck has a thought (hold the presses!) and says to his audience of septuagenarians:
And I also said why don’t you just abolish Medicare, because it’s so wildly corrupt and out of control.

And about two-million seventy-year old global warming deniers ["the Science isn't clear!"] who are also Rapture enthusiasts ["the evidence is overwhelming!"] momentarily stopped painting that Sarah Palin figurine intended to replace the Virgin Mary in their Nativity Scene and yelled out, "Yeah, get rid of Medicare for everyone (except me of course)!"

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Tweety, quick on the uptake as ever

Like Alan Grayson though:

This will not be pretty

You know Nicolas Cage had shitty taste in selecting scripts before he was desperate for cash to keep his various islands from foreclosure.

Now that he needs millions, he's turning into "Michael Caine in the 70s" bad:

As I sit here

Snowbound and looking at the outrageous stupidity of the Washington Post allowing Sarah Palin to publish her Facebook idiocies as an Op-Ed, this made me realize how it will all shake down:



Well in 49 years there won't be a Washington Post and I'll be dead (and pretty much all of you not living on beachfront property in Cincinnati will be joining me) so it's good to know by 2058 they'll finally apologize for Palin and George Will.

Give if you can

I'm not always happy with every ACLU decision, but that's really the point isn't it? A group that won't be intimidated by any Republican OR Democratic Administration on the issue of civil liberties and has taken on both the Bush AND Obama Administrations.

Well, due to economic conditions they've lost a major contributor. Here's how you can give a donation if you can.

(via Balloon Juice)

Point of personal privilege

Allow me to state this succinctly:



Fuck you Chuck Todd!!

We're buried here in over a foot of snow, and forty-mile an hour winds -- trapped, yes, trapped in our homes.

If Hurricanes are a big story in Florida, and earthquakes a big story in California, then blizzards are a fucking news story in the Midwest. People are undoubtedly going to die.

So fuck you and your little pretensions about how all of us here in flyover country as just little nabobs who don't fucking matter. This isn't some two-inch snowfall it's a fucking blizzard.

Why don't you come and shovel out my car, jerk?! Thanks to budget shortages and corner cutting (the kind of news stories you couldn't possibly understand in comparison to tales of Tiger's penis) digging out of this mess will be even more protracted.

So allow me to tell you to go fuck yourself one more time.

And there was much screeching and unhinged gibberish

It's like when Stanley met Livingstone...if they were gigantic idiots.



But hey, they both hate the Japanese, so there's that.

Yes, apparently we were talking to you

As Atrios already noted, it's like all those Tom Friedman jokes we've made over the years, turned out to be the basis of American Foreign Policy:

An Iraqi taxi driver may have been the source of the discredited claim that Saddam Hussein could unleash weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes, a Tory MP claimed today.


I keep thinking that this must have been the most disastrous low-point in a lifetime of low-points in American politics, the nadir of political discourse. "How could that have happened?", I wonder naively.

And then I wake up to see that Fred Hiatt has allowed Sarah Palin to put her (well someone's) Facebook ramblings of FoxNews talking gibberish on global warming as an Op-Ed, and this, Glenn Beck's "Christmas question": "Do you believe Tiger Woods may actually be OJ Simpson?" and that may not even be the cherry on top of the crap-sundae.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

One little tradition ended

Hot on the heels of the "Guiding Light" being cancelled, CBS is cancelling "As the World Turns". Enjoy some completely expected character description:

"It's a hell of a Christmas present," said actress Eileen Fulton, who will mark 50 years playing the character Lisa Grimaldi on the show. Her character has been through nine marriages and Fulton was hoping for a 10th before the signoff.


This was always my mother's soap opera -- it was also the favorite soap opera of one of my grandmothers (hell, now that I think about it both grandmothers), who seemed sure these were real people. Of course, my grandmother was cancelled and sent into "Syndication in the Sky" about 18 years ago so maybe she was right.

The First Official Notice of the Year in Des Moines

That we are all about to die a horrible frozen blizzardy death (and not the kind you get from Dairy Queen). I fear the Jim Cantori is near.

Should further communication not be possible, I just wish to say SEE YOU IN HELL NEBRASKA!

I'd also say "I regret nothing" but, hell, I regret about everything.

Meanwhile,

In the happy land we made "extree" happy -- the land of the perpetual declaration of victory -- Richard Cohen can rub his chin-beard blithely about this:

In what appeared to be a coordinated assault, a series of car bombings across Baghdad on Tuesday killed at least 101 people and wounded scores more, according to preliminary accounts by police and hospital officials.


Fear not Dickie, 'tis but the prudent use of therapeutic violence you prescribe.

Asshole.

But hey, lookie here, person rushed to hospital from Tiger Woods house, then quickly discharged from hospital.

We know which one is going to dominate our awesome media now don't we?

Why can't Tiger just have sex with Sarah Palin in front of Chuck Todd so we can just get the fucking Rapture started already?

America's Concern Troll



You know it's nice and all you write this either eight or six and a half-years after the event:

But what we don't know is whether any of that is worth the life we see on the nightly news or read about in the newspaper.

Each day, when I read the names and pause to wonder about their lives, I have to wonder when I will be able to stop reading -- when there are no more names to read or simply too many of them?


But why on earth were you incapable of discerning this possibility -- hell, probability -- when the same author wrote this not so very long ago:

We are a good country, attempting to do a good thing. In a post-Sept. 11 world, I thought the prudent use of violence could be therapeutic. The United States had the power to change things for the better, and those who would do the changing -- the fighting -- were, after all, volunteers. This mattered to me.


A man with the intellectual and moral chops slightly higher than Jonah Goldberg would realize the second line of thinking is directly contributing to the first. But that, sadly, gives Cohen slightly too much credit. For his moral conscience is on the same level as the Pantloads.

"Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business."


But hey, they're both now richly rewarded paragons of the modern commentariat, surely rewarded for their far-seeing morality and reasoned judgment -- and love of the Simpsons, Star Trek and dislike of Colbert. That'll show us.

I really must rethink my business plan

Look, I don't claim to be a great or even a good writer. No, at 3:30 in the morning central time I'm what you call an "available" writer. And believe me, I'm totally earn all the filthy lucre one should acquire on minimal talent.

But perhaps I have ill-chosen the best ideological position for my limited talent:

Jonah Goldberg—who has a career of any kind solely because his mother told Linda Tripp to secretly tape conversations with a lady who gave the president a blow job, and who is generally considered to be one of the most intellectually lazy pundits of any political persuasion of all time—writes about The Simpsons for The National Review Online...just got a million dollars to write another book. Hooray for the publishing industry!


Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'll have you know, I can manage to put together a sentence containing a noun and verb at least 4 out of 7 times. This in and of itself would make me a towering literary figure at National Review Online. I've even been known to do my own research (I'm on to you Wikipedia!). Nevertheless, because I represent a liberal viewpoint I am ostracized from mass sales-dumps to conservative interests groups.

Well, no more. I know where the money is, and it's clearly not in the public option of publishing. From now on it is time to change sides, out of desire for cash.

I am now going to engage in writing the following mash notes to conservative thought in hopes of a very nice display at the Heritage Foundation and Searchlight Books (the world's dullest bookstore).

"Zombies Shrugged"
"Free to Choose Sea Monsters"
"Dick Cheney's Persuasion"

Ca-Ching!

You're not gonna make it with anyone anyhow

Can you imagine if Obama or Hillary Clinton wore a Mao-Cap?



Via AmericaBlog.

Monday, December 07, 2009

You Know Who Else Flipped Books? HITLER!


I can think of at least one book I'll be flipping over soon.

h/t watertiger

By Jove, I think he has it

What Atrios says.

Really what could be more fucking awesome?

Than this -- other than the L. Ron Howard Power Hour or the Lyndon LaRouche Opium Trafficking Report?

Tell me a little bit about what the show is going to be.

John Stossel: It will be one subject. The first subject will be maybe Atlas Shrugged or global warming—Atlas Shrugged because I think 50 years ago, Ayn Rand predicted today. It sort of sums up what I’m going to be reporting about.


Man, from Glenn Beck to this Mustachioed Douchebag the secret to getting ahead in the aughts appears to be basing your whole worldview on some shitty book from the 50s. I can hardly wait a couple generations (if we make it that long) when the next generation of morons bases their life on Eragon, Twilightt, or the Bridges of Madison County.

And Orly Taitz adds a new exhibit to her case


Oh dear:

Of [Mel] Brooks, the President said:

Unfortunately, many of the punch lines that have defined Mel Brooks' success cannot be repeated here. (Laughter.) I was telling him that I went to see Blazing Saddles -- (laughter) -- when I was 10. And he pointed out that I think, according to the ratings, I should not have been allowed in the theater. (Laughter.) That's true. I think I had a fake ID. (Laughter and applause.) But the statute of limitations has passed. (Laughter.)


(pic from here)

Hey everybody, Fred Hiatt's masturbating!


Well, there goes my web-traffic.

Hiatt: Obama talking about Afghanistan sounds like his predecessor talking about Iraq.

And in further incredibly depressing news...

I give you portions of the live directors commentary of "McG" the Uwe Boll-level director of the horrid "Terminator: Please Let it be Over":

6:55: McG just compared his movie to The Dark Knight.

6:57: Question: how do you feel about making the horrible Charlie's Angels films?

6:57: McG: "I really like those movies. If you don't like them you can fuck off."


And it gets even worse:

7:13: He just announced that he's making another Terminator movie. Seriously...

7:16: Oh and for those people who are punching themselves in the face that he's making another one? He said he's making one after that.

7:19: McG just confessed to verbal abuse from his father when he was growing up.


Of course, I'm against child abuse, but can in this instance, can you really blame him?

It's really the victims' fault

The New York Times resident pube-beard Ross Doubthat is really little more than Kathryn Lopez with better spelling, today's column can be summarized thusly:

The Swiss bigotry against Muslims is really the Muslims' fault. Those poor Germanic countries, always the victim of those non-christian religions.


Yep, he's just that stupid.

Disgusting

There are many many reasons to read Digby regularly, but among them are her consistent and disturbing reports on the use and abuse of tasers by the police in this country.

Exhibit 1: Keeping a 10-year old under control through the "magic" of attacking their nervous system with painful electronic pulses and being called a hero for it.

Teschner said that because of the tight quarters the boy was in, stunning the child with a Taser was a more effective way of arresting the youth rather than using pepper spray.

"They couldn't get close enough to deploy pepper spray without putting themselves in danger," Teschner said.

Apparently it just doesn't dawn on this purportedly well-trained "officer of the peace" that they can probably physically manage to overwhelm a 10-year old child through the timeless process of grabbing them. No the first priority is tasering...and the back up plan for a 10-year old child is pepper spray.

And besides, it was a foster child, and who gives a shit about them anyway? /pissed off sarcasm.

"Um, because you require they be on you all the time?"

"President" McCain pretends to be outraged about cameras not being on him exclusively -- when the "alleged" winner of the 2008 election is away from the press:

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Senator John McCain held a press conference just a few feet away from the Democrats' caucus room. “I don't like to refer back to the last campaign – for obvious reasons – all the time, but, are the CSPAN cameras here? Why aren't you in the room?”


I so hope that "This Week" or "Fox News Sunday" have McCain on next Sunday to elaborate in greater detail.

What an awesome guy

Last week Rick Warren reacted to criticism of the involvement of his associates in a Ugandan law making it easy to severely punish gays in Uganda -- or even those sympathetic to gays in his inimitable style. Like a douchebag.

But new information has come forth demonstrating just how involved Warren was with this disgusting bit of hatred.

Sarah Palin's special Pearl Harbor Day Message

Truly, Sarah has long demonstrated leadership qualities...if one means a bad chapter of the Kiwanis Club. From the New Yorker comes this story of why Palin only spent a brief period as a college student in Hawaii.

Palin's father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: "They were a minority type thing and it wasn't glamorous, so she came home."


Ah, the dawn of a great Republican career.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Dear Arizona Cardinals,

Why did you have to play your best game of the year last night? Not only did you decisively beat the Vikings (and that broken femur for E.J. Henderson, ugh!) you kept me from going 6 and 0 and that's the really really really important thing.

OTH, good thing I didn't bother to pick the Patriots or Steeler games.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

So Very Tired

I am so very tired of all the distractions that are put in our way when we should be talking about issues of substance.  This celebrity did something strangely and uniquely stupid, or that "family values" politician was caught in a compromising situation.  Did that family over there do something really inane on television in an effort to appear to be famous? 

Anyone get the odd feeling that we are perpetually living in a Monty Python skit?

This thinking can be summed up as: "Hey, there is a bright shiny thing over here that can distract you!"  Distract you - and everyone else - from the fact that most of the politicians of either party really don't care about the state of... well, the state... without nearly constant supervision and questioning from folks who are not worried about getting invites to dinners and parties.

Apparently, they think we are all Homer Simpson, easily distracted by the bright and shiny things.  And, given the state of today's bobbleheads on this morning's supposedly serious talk shows, I suspect that there may be more distractions in the world being dreamed up for us all.  And Homer might well be considered a genius in comparison to these supposed 'policy' experts.

Come on McCain, your party... your imbecile did not get Bin Laden.  It doesn't matter how many bright and shiny objects you hold up, we all know it.

Makes ya' think

Okay, not really:



Or in a similar fashion...

Atta J. Turk's marginally trust NFL picks

Well another 4 and 2 week means that I sit at 46 and 26 for the year. Not bad, good thing it's worth so much money.

First, I have to say I watched many of the college games yesterday and especially in particular to Texas barely beating Nebraska, I have to say, there is no way in hell the Longhorns should get into a national championship game over TCU, Cincy or Boise St. Based on what I've seen the last few weeks, those three smaller, less traditional powers, are about to get a royal fucking screwjob so the big boys can keep their monopoly.

Here's what is going to happen when Alabama meets Texas. Alabama will score 40 plus -- Texas, maybe 14. It will be a blood bath. It sucks, and the little guys are going to be screwed.

And now on to the place where they actually settle things on the field.

Eagles at Falcons. This is purported the Michael Vick coming home game. But nobody seems to give a shit. It's amazing what being convicted of a felony, seeing your prime years spent in jail followed by being virtually invisible on your return just doesn't have the same magnitude as a first ballot hall-of-famer leading his new team against the team he played 16 great years with. I predict Vick will spend his usual rhythm killing 2-yard run while McNabb stands on the sideline thinking WTF? Andy Reid, ladies and gentlemen, alleged genius. In spite of it all, the perpetually underappreciated McNabb leads the Eagles to the win.

Rams at Bears. I know they were playing a high quality opponent last week in the Vikings, but egads the Bears stink on ice don't they? Awesome trade for Cutler, how about you give him some receivers or an offensive line that isn't composed of has beens and never wases? Oh that's okay, next year you can draft better players -- oops, no you can't you have no draft choices. GENIUS! Here's a prediction. In 2010, the Lions will have a better record than the Bears. Not that I'm mad, I don't have many chances to use "egads' in a sentence, but thanks to the Bears, I can. But today at least, they play the even more awful Rams. Here's your comparison. The Vikings beat the Bears by 26, the Rams by 28. Take the Bears, therefore, in a squeaker

Titans at Colts: This is the "trendy" upset pick of the week. The Titans have now won 5 in a row, Vince Young is the comeback player flavor of the month, Chris Johnson is going frickin' wild. The Colts have had to come from behind 5 straight times in the 4th quarter, something no one other than they have other pulled off successfully. Well, I predict that won't happen again this week. Because they won't be behind. The Colts go to 12 and 0.


Saints at Redskins
. I picked against the Saints last week and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, I'm an idiot. That was one hell of a performance. Wow. It sure seems like this year there are 3 really, really good teams in the NFL - the Colts, the Saints and the Vikings, a handful of decent teams, and a shitload of massive suck. The Redskins are the cream of the suck. Decent defense, shitty offense. Sort of the Nebraska Cornhuskers of the NFL. Well, the Saints aren't Texas. It'll be respectable and it's a short week. The Saints will get a scare for a while, but they'll win.

Cowboys at Giants. This is a tough one. The Cowboys have a good record at 8 and 3, but it all seems rather illusory. They scored 24 against the Raiders, but the Raiders are awful. Before that they have a grand total of 14 points in two games against the Packers and Redskins. I have no faith in them whatsoever. Meanwhile, I have no reason to think the Giants are awesome, they've lost 5 of 6 and to hear the New York media describe it, Eli Manning has lost a foot and had it replaced with a candy-cane peg. But I really have no faith in the Cowboys -- plus if the Cowboys lose, the NFC East becomes a gigantic messy free-for-all. BRING ON THE CHAOS, take the Giants.

Vikings at Cardinals. Will Warner play or won't he? I'm pretty sure he will, but if it's Matt Leinert I'm going to feel a lot more confident picking the Vikings. The Vikings are playing so well right now, I feel confident they are going deeper into the playoffs than they have of late this year, before they crush my spirits by choking late. Just like the good ol' days. No matter who starts, I'm taking the Vikings.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Watch This

Is good, on DVD, and a Christmas story.

Well, that's about right

Bob Herbert:

For me, the greatest national security crisis in the United States is the crisis in education. We are turning out new generations of Americans who are whizzes at video games and may be capable of tweeting 24 hours a day but are nowhere near ready to cope with the great challenges of the 21st century.


Ladies and Gentlemen, the Palin family. It's all "Call of Duty 4" and "Jesus Horses".

Boink, boink, boink

Another "family values" politician (this time a Democrat) is caught with his pants down.

Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus’ office confirmed late Friday night that the Montana Democrat was carrying on an affair with his state office director, Melodee Hanes, when he nominated her to be U.S. attorney in Montana.

According to a source familiar with their relationship, Hanes and Baucus began their relationship in the summer of 2008 – nearly a year before Baucus and his wife, Wanda, divorced in April 2009. The Senator had informally separated from his wife in March 2008 and they were living apart when he began dating Hanes, according to Baucus' office.


The relationship while separated isn't so bad, of course, it's the classic political "grab pro quo" that's the perpetual problem. Haines, ultimately was not nominated by Obama as US Attorney.

Now back to the "real" scandal, Tiger Woods sexting.

(via Balloon Juice)

Friday, December 04, 2009

Something for the weekend


Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

First Word. Last Word.

Following up on Attaturk's post, here's my contribution to Tiger's Penis Week.

Imagine being managed to within an inch of your life from the time you were two years old. Imagine the firm hands of fathers, mothers, coaches, agents, handlers, advisers, professional associations, sports leagues, advertisers, and fans on your shoulder, constantly guiding you, pushing you, pulling you this way and that since you were two years old. Imagine everyone around you wanting a piece of you 24/7/365. Since you were two years old. What do you do to feel in control of your own life? To feel free? To be able to tell yourself, "I have something that's all mine"?

I'm not surprised that Mister Calm, Cool & Collected has a secret life.

I apologize

For mentioning Tiger Woods one more time...but it is, after all, as Atrios says, "Tiger's Penis Week". And thank goodness, or we'd have to actually deal with our own lives and serious bullshit. Ooooooooh, I can hardly wait for what happens next week to replace it.

But I think the best summaries of the week that was...and should never be again...except something just like it will replace it next week and into infinity...are these two juxtaposed pieces, which manage to call bullshit on everything at once when coupled together.

Charles Pierce, who I love reading very much (his book Idiot America was awesome and not just because he kindly sent me a copy), and Jason Whitlock, who often irritates me (master of the gratuitous, gossipy, cheapshot), but who I also often like reading (hey, I hate TMZ, but that doesn't mean I have high standards).

Lord help me if either of these two were ever pissed at me...although that seems hard enough to conjure, I mean who the hell thinks anybody gives two craps what I think? I'm small potatoes and moderately sane while staying safely anonymous (although I'd love the hits -- and I'm vain enough to take 'em, I am, after all a product of modern America). Which leads to my real failing (other than lack of talent, of course) I'm sitting here anonymously, yet I don't get my full out-crazy on, I really should be out slandering people more. Damn me and my feckless marginal scruples.

I Think I May Need to Retract Some of the Nasty Things I've Said About Staten Island

(But only some of them.)

Meet Diane Savino, New York State Senator from Staten Island and Brooklyn. She was one of the only bright spots in the marriage equality vote that happened here earlier this week. I think a big part of the outcome had to do with our weak governor, rather than New York not being ready for gay people to marry. We'll see it done here sooner rather than later, but not under this governor. Anyway, read the little interview with Savino and then watch the video through the end. It's worthwhile. And if you're ever in Staten Island, go to Denino's for the pizza, which is quite good. (See? I said another nice thing about Staten Island.)

MATLOCK!!!

Shorter Broder:
Boy things were so shitty before Obama took office, I don't see how he and his party won't be severely punished next year, since the problem he inherited is so difficult to fix.

Good thing I plainly can't remember who was in charge when it all was allowed to fall apart.

Must have been Clinton.

Reprobate nation

This is a continuation of long existent American policy -- now ever more slightly expanded:

The White House has authorized an expansion of the C.I.A.’s drone program in Pakistan’s lawless tribal areas, officials said this week, to parallel the president’s decision, announced Tuesday, to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. American officials are talking with Pakistan about the possibility of striking in Baluchistan for the first time — a controversial move since it is outside the tribal areas — because that is where Afghan Taliban leaders are believed to hide.


So we are now allowing a non-military agency to shoot missiles from the sky into a country we are not even palpably at war with. Effective or not, where does the line between war crimes and justifiable military acts end?

And if another country was doing this...say Russia in Kosovo or Georgia, how exactly do we have any moral standing to object?

There is also the huge dispute over civilian deaths...some press reports say "hundreds", which is probably unlikely...but then come anonymous program flack says no more than 20. I have a feeling it's somewhere between.

And then there is the long-term issue versus short-term gain:

There is little doubt that “warheads on foreheads,” in the macho lingo of intelligence officers, have been disruptive to the militants in Pakistan, removing leaders and fighters, slowing movement and sowing dissension as survivors hunt for spies who may be tipping off the Americans. Yet the drones are unpopular with many Pakistanis, who see them as a violation of their country’s sovereignty — one reason the United States refuses to officially acknowledge the attacks. A poll by Gallup Pakistan last summer found only 9 percent of Pakistanis in favor of the attacks and 67 percent against, with a majority ranking the United States as a greater threat to Pakistan than its archrival, India, or the Pakistani Taliban.

Interestingly, residents of the tribal areas where the attacks actually occur, who bitterly resent the militants’ brutal rule, are far less critical of the drones, said Farhat Taj, an anthropologist with the Aryana Institute for Regional Research and Advocacy. A study of 550 professional people living in the tribal areas was conducted late last year by the institute, a Pakistani research group. About half of those interviewed called the drone strikes “accurate,” 6 in 10 said they damaged militant organizations, and almost as many denied they increased anti-Americanism.


The disturbing moral issues don't go away.

I preferred the holy blessing of the Christ-Cheeto

Criminy:

A Fort Worth-area couple said one of their hens laid an egg with a cross on the end of it. Pam and Tracy Norrell of Burleson, who displayed the odd-shaped egg, said they believe it's a sign of encouragement during the holiday season.


Or, it's a sign you've put a bit too much weed-killer in your chicken-feed.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Princess Michael of Kent... Jay-Z... Charles Manson ...

...if you have something to say, say it on the Huffington Post.

That little squib at the center left of the HuffPo home page never fails to disappoint me. How does she come up with these contributor combos? The one up there now is "Queen Noor of Jordan... Elizabeth Warren... Dylan Ratigan...". Last week it was "Deepak Chopra... Alec Baldwin... and Someone I Can't Remember". The combos are bizarre non-sequiturs, like a kimchee burrito with garlic aioli served in a western-theme Quonset hut

Anyway, please put your combos in comments.

Style by Harry Reems, brain by Amway


Shorter Robert Samuelson:

The reason unemployment is so high is because Obama won't sign a trade agreement with Colombia.

...now fluff me.

Best Pre-Review I've heard


About Avatar:

$500 million FOX has poured into making and promoting “Ferngully 3: This Time The Sprites Are Big And Blue”


I prefer to think of them as really buff-Smurfs, but YMMV.

Why these kids today

And their twitters and their droids and their raging hormones. We didn't have these things when I was a young man.

The Associated Press and MTV did a poll of teenagers and 'the young' to find out how much they sext. More than quarter fessed up and shared the details.


Because nothing's sexier than discussing a tossed salad in 140 characters or less.

Why in my day we had only key parties and glory holes AND we liked it!

Malevolent unintentional hilarity

Oh, Matt Drudge, what would be ever do without your repellent wankery?

As noted at the Great Orange Satan, the egg-man publishes a picture falsely claiming the opposite of what the AP reported that a cadet reading while waiting for Obama to speak into one reading WHILE he was speaking.



Not only a false charge, but one which would cause the young cadet a pain-in-the-ass inquiry. Thanks asshole.

But even more, the picture reflects something else both the Eggman and his moronic followers (see, Halperin, Mark) into judging a book by its cover.

Kill Bin Laden is actually a book about how the Bush Administration completely fucked up by letting the title-subject escape at Tora Bora. Y'know like John Kerry always said.

Hey, this theme, it seems familiar


You know I don't even like patchouli oil and Birkenstocks but I sure wish there were some campaign promises the President was more committed to keeping than others. Nevertheless, given the ever disturbing list of nightmare choices available, this sure sounds familiar (America: Start a War Party vs. Continue a War Party) (via Digby):

Q General, why should the U.S. expect to succeed in Afghanistan where other superpowers have failed?

GEN. MCKIERNAN: ...especially with the history of Afghanistan, there's always an inclination to relate what we're doing now with previous nations and history that have been in Afghanistan for other reasons. And I think that's a very unhealthy comparison.

We're in Afghanistan with the support of the Afghan people, to bring stability and a better future to that country. That's a, certainly, far different reason than, say, for instance, the Soviets were in there.


Okay, how many ways is this disturbing?

It's unhealthy to look at, well, history?

"That's not the way the world really works anymore. We're an empire now, and when we act we create our own reality."
- Unidentified Bush Adm. official to Ron Suskind


As opposed to those non-empires; Alexander's Greece, Tamerlane, the Mongols, the Ottomans, the British, and the Russians - both Czarist and Soviet. Their version of reality in Afghanistan went awesomely.

Meanwhile, the statement about what the Russians were doing in Afghanistan...uh, that's also patently false. You might not have liked the fact it was the Soviet Union doing it, but it's pretty clear from their perspective the reason they were there was stability and a better future to that country.

But who am I but just a dirty effing hippie who's read some history?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Taking to term "Pinhead" to another level

Oh lordy:

Sarah Palin Strikes New Ground as Keynote Speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010

Bowling Proprietors' Association of America (BPAA) Welcomes Palin as Featured Guest at Bowling Industry's Premier International Convention

ARLINGTON, TX--(Marketwire - December 2, 2009) - The Bowling Proprietors' Association of America (BPAA), the bowling industry's leading trade association, announced today that the bowling industry rolled a strike, securing Sarah Palin as the keynote speaker at this summer's International Bowl Expo 2010.

"Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we're so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010," said Steven Johnson, executive director of the BPAA.
via Huffington Post


Image via TWolf at FDL.

Well, that seals it

I'm neither full-throated condemning or whole-heartedly supporting Obama on the Afghanistan speech. I'd sure like it to be one of those promises he didn't keep -- but at the same time, I realize he inherited and shitty deal and is at least trying to put an end date on the shitty deal (and I'll believe it when I see it).

But now even my depressed ambivalence cannot be left alone, for the surest sign of failure has been revealed:

Bill Kristol, the man who is wrong about everything, in the world, consistently, thinks that this is the right strategy. Or, at least, he thinks that the entire speech was Barack Obama admitting that George Bush and Bill Kristol were right about everything and Michael Moore is fat. Maybe?


Now we're even more fucked.

Well this is awkward timing

Personally, I despise any issue where we ignore actual problems, so we can fixate on the personal life of an athlete or celebrity. Unless they are running for Congress, or engage in political comment, I don't give a shit.

This means, of course, criticizing Chuck Norris or Alec Baldwin is fine.

Going on and on about who George Clooney or Jennifer Lopez is having sex with, not fine -- unless of course there's an easy joke there (that's the caveat).

So aside from a light and airy joke about the private life of Tiger Woods, I'm already completely and utterly sick of it -- I didn't vote for him, I don't have any expectations for him, my life isn't affected one way or another by him outside of when I choose to notice him -- as opposed to having his personal life foisted upon me because of some stupid and small-time single car fender bender.

And now, the purpose of my post, where world's collide and you just have to say ... wrong on so many levels (I mean, really just the premise is outrageously stupid) and now even more incredibly wrong this is the cover of the new issue of Golf Digest.



Oy.

I guess it could be worse, the President could have been Clinton, or the golfer Fuzzy Zoeller.

Oh dear, I know the economy is bad and all, but even the "Dirty Jobs" guy would pass on this one

Is this worse than being the Doughy Pantload's "Minor Domo"?


Job Requirements:

1. Discrete Discreet;
2. Delusional;
3. Functionally illiterate;
4. Delusional;
5. Good with a towel and/or old sock;
6. Pass test for carpal tunnel detection because there's going to be a lot of cutting and pasting Sarah Palin pic.
7. Willing to rent 'Who's Nailin' Palin' DVD's.
8. Discreet.

Well, thank goodness

Is there nothing Bono won't try to do? Is there anything we can do to stop him?

Bono has lent his support to the Republic of Ireland football team who were knocked out of the World Cup qualifiers by France following the Thierry Henry handball scandal.


I have this bizarre dream that Bono, Prince, and Toby Keith join forces to alternatively bomb people, decry bombing people, and engage in mysterious bits of pouting about people dying 4 them.

Speaking of which, this is a good spot to put up the picture of Prince at last Sunday's Viking game. Unleash your "Purple Reign/Rain" jokes here:

Why the GOP going on the crazy train is bad

Example # ...oh hell I've lost count by now.

If the GOP was actually capable of rational arguments, as opposed to knee-jerk cries of "the (Kenyan) fights wars pretty much the same we do but he's not a white Republican us" coupled with "show us your birth certificate before you kill granny" then maybe, just maybe, the Democratic President of the United States would be slightly more liberal in his governance than he actually is.

Y'know, if they're gonna call ya' socialist, ya' might as well give them a modicum of something to be outraged about.

But as it is, by going full-crazy Obama gets to be Clinton II -- while David Broder still grips his prayer-beads.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Cheneys, all crass

Says an awful lot about that family


In addition, the Secret Service has been bowing to pressure by some protectees such as Mary Cheney, Dick Cheney's daughter, who insisted that agents take her friends to restaurants. That is not the job of the Secret Service, and when agents refused she got her detail leader removed by Secret Service management.


Awful people, the whole family.

All Animals are Equal, but Some Animals are More Equal Than Others

Things just keep getting worse ....

You have to understand the topography of that portion of 61st Street. On the south side sits the Trump International Hotel and Tower, where room rates on Monday began at $595 a night, taxes not included. On the north side is 15 Central Park West, a new aerie for the gigarich that extends to 62nd Street. Condos there have sold for as much as $45 million.

Two days before Thanksgiving, a doorman at No. 15 made clear to a woman from the neighborhood (and a friend of mine) that only residents would be allowed to stand in front of that building during the parade. She asked him about it because similar restrictions were in place last year.

The doorman knew what he was talking about. On Thanksgiving morning, a public street was effectively privatized.


Trying to maintain my hopey and changey, but it's hard.

h/t watertiger, who tells me the Goldies want guns, too.

Oh how they doth suffer...

What's a war criminal do in his spare time, when not pretending they were awesome uttering his slime to his willing stenographers?

The former vice president is splitting his time among his houses in Virginia, in Wyoming and on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, with a place at each for working on his memoir, to be published in the spring of 2011. His eldest daughter, former Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of State Liz Cheney, is collaborating on the writing and overseeing research.


And the lying, don't forget she's collaborating on the lying.

With Teammates like this...

It's like liberal bloggers getting together with an Obama Administration Staffer (I kid I kid, sort of) or the Woods family Thanksgiving ON ICE! (again, I kid):

Project much

Granted Andrew Sullivan has his own problems with gross overstatement, gross generalizations, and ad hominem attacks...but as Balloon Juice observed, it's hard not to note the irony of this statement from a man who's just dying to bomb the fuck out of Iran based on spurious facts and logic (and with a sizeable dose of moral depravity):

Sullivan’s post merits reading as the quintessential Sullivan, leaping from nonexistent fact to blanket ad hominem without even a pause for a reality check.

Smart Shopping

A little over two years ago, I bought a rather large plasma TV with relatively little research. By and large it's been a great purchase, a fine TV, I'm really happy I bought it. So thanks Hitachi.

Now I was aware, of course, that Hitachi is a huge with many products. It caused me pause when after I purchased the TV, I would see large industrial equipment bearing the name "Hitachi" but whatever. But I don't know what it says that the manufacturer of my television, also makes the world's premiere vibrator.

And Then, Depression Set In....

The Afghanistan news has me thoroughly demoralized. I figure that other than write and call my House rep and Senators and tell them not to fund the escalation, my only option is to lose myself in regular installments of silly, pointless humor. On that score, see below.

Why Bill O'Reilly is an asshole, part 3,532



Yes, it's not Mike Huckabee's fault.

On the other hand, if a woman wears a mini-skirt, you a totally responsible for being raped and murdered. Furthermore, if you are a child, you are totally happy to be abducted because you don't want to go to school.

IOKIYAR, in distilled form.

Dear CNN

I appreciate fewer Kagans and retired generals who get cash to spout the Pentagon line -- but really is this the best panel you could assemble to discuss Afghanistan?

Sorry Gay People

I really do not even think marriage is a right. Marriage is a responsibility. It's not a gift that somebody says, 'Hey, now it's time for you to get married. It's our bestowal to you.' It's a commitment that you make and it is a responsibility that you accept."
-- Rush Limbaugh gay marriage

Because marriage is such a sacred, holy, institution only moral paragons (i.e. straight people) like Rush Limbaugh can practice it.

Repeatedly,

Rush and his fiance have apparently agreed upon that most sanctified of religious articles of faith, the Prenuptial Agreement, and will be married on Independence Day. And then will come the test of whether his truth is self-evident...or even apparent.

And for that image, you are most welcome.

So bottom line, Rush Limbaugh can get married - four times - and wherever he damn well pleases, gay people with or without drug dependency histories, cannot in most places.