Heckuva Job Brownies (like you didn't see this one coming)

Hi, I'm Michael Brown, former FEMA Director and legal counsel to the Miniature Horse Association. I'm sorry, I've been told it was the Arabian Horse Association. I could have sworn it was miniature horses *THWACK*

Ow, dammit, I just accidentally hit myself, I'm sorry about that -- I did sort of mean to do it.

I've been asked to submit a recipe this year and in the Brown home, from what my wife tells me, at least I think it was my wife, though I don't remember her being blonde and she did seem to really mean it when she told me to leave the house. So it could have been someone else. I guess now that I've seen the video footage I am not sure who it was. Nevertheless, sometime in my life I have made brownies. In fact, in college, or at least one of the times I was in college, we used to make these really special brownies. Damn did those things were good with mexican food and cheetos.

But anyway, I have the recipe written down here, OW, paper cut, ow, ow, ow. Looks like a bad one. Anyone got a torniquet? Give me a few moments here if you can.

Okay, I'm back, I'll give you the recipe as soon as I can pull the pages apart from each other and the hand I just stapled them to.

Oh, yes, I am a cooking god! I'll just roll up my sleaves here, so it looks like I'm busy. Um, fellas, can you help me here, I didn't realize it at the time but I seem to have my shirt on backwards. Oh, it also appears I just had an accident in my pants, can somebody help me clean this up.

Anyway here is the recipe:

INGREDIENTS:

1 (21 oz.) fudge brownie mix (or brownies made from your favorite recipe)
1 bottle of bourbon
1 cup butter
3 bottles of rum
2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 Tablespoon solid vegetable shortening

PREPARATION:

Bake brownies according to package directions.
Drizzle brownies with a little bit of the bourbon as soon as they are removed from the oven; refrigerate. Drink rest of bourbon.

Cream butter, touch of rum and powdered sugar. Spread on cooled brownies. Drink rum. Tell people the best defense against flooding is learning how to swim.

Refrigerate again. When cold, melt chocolate chips and shortening. Spread or drizzle quickly on top of brownies. Chill -- preferably over some margarita's and tex-mex.