Thursday, April 01, 2010

Explaining the 20th Century in a survey

Through indirect methodology:

Which states & cities have the largest penises?

America's first condom store, Condomania (Condomania.com), has just unlocked its huge database of penis sizes and released these unique rankings of the 50 states and the 20 most populated U.S. cities by average penis size. After 20 years in business, Condomania knows perhaps more than anyone else about the nation's penises.


And what of it...

48. Iowa -- Predominantly German.
49. Utah -- Predominantly Mormon.
50. Wyoming -- Cheney.

Remember it's about literal "dick" size, not metaphorical "dick" size.

6 comments:

DanF said...

Assuming this ins't an April Fool's Day thing ... some of the craziest states in the country are packing the least. The bottom 17:

Idaho
Texas
Missouri
Montana
Ohio
Nebraska
Colorado
Maine
North Carolina
Delaware
South Carolina
Kentucky
West Virginia
Alaska
Iowa
Utah
Wyoming

Maybe it really is all about insufficient penis size. I see a Kinsey study: "Do liberal guys have bigger penises?" This could change everything. Who's going to want to vote for or be associated with the party of "The Angry Inch"?

sukabi said...

so the problem with the "Red States" can be boiled down to "penis envy"? and "small man syndrome"? which results in frustrated, irritated women.

color me surprised.

pansypoo said...

less blacks?

pansypoo said...

this isn't gonna help you with sandy..

StonyPillow said...

Has far more to do with respondents' ability to delude themselves than any statistical variances. This is ironclad proof New Hampshire is unqualified to hold the first presidential primary.

And if they're buying them for the livstock, they're still unqualified to hold the first presidential primary.

Fixer said...

As we Germans say, we breed men, not dicks.