Many of you may remember Bush's bold "Mars Initiative", you know "Initiative, Bitch!"?
Bush's plan was to send humans back to the moon and then on to Mars. All without significant funding. Truly an awe-inspiring plan.
But few of you may know the secret nature of this plan. It is outlined below:
In an Executive Order of January 22, 2001, Bush proclaimed this decade the "Gay Hatin' Aughts."
Bush then appeared at a secret enclave of Southern Baptist, gathered at Bob Jones University, and made the following remarks...
"I declare that this nation commit itself, before this decade is out, to the goal of sending all gays to the moon, while we safely stay back on the earth."
"Some say why send gays to the moon? The same could ask, why climb Mount Everest? or why does Rice no longer play Texas? We choose to send the gays to the moon.
We choose to send the gays to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, very very hard."
Someday, Tom Hanks, or more likely, Ron Silver, will do a miniseries about it.