Monday, November 29, 2004

Speaking of ESPN

It's always easy to crack a Stuart Scott joke, but to go off politics, yet not off it for a moment, I do watch the network a bit -- it's more reality-based than say, FoxNews for example. However, I do have one question that it's promotions department is determined to drumbeat into my head.

I'm not a NASCAR fan, I don't loathe it -- it just has no interest or appeal to me. Most all motorsports do not, occasionally I may watch some of the Indy 500 for no other reason than I watched it as a kid and it takes me back to those days without bills or responsibilities. For me, personally, the thought of watching a bunch of white southern boys making a series of left turns, is both ironic, and about as exciting as a Civil War Reenactment without the North.

In fact, I imagine the popularity of NASCAR is reflective of the South slowly, but surely winning the new, modern updated Civil War. Look at a map, they've obviously infiltrated the Republican Party.

I imagine that if the internal combustion engine then existed, Thomas Jackson would be known as "Leadfoot Jackson" (not as good as the preferred "Action Jackson", but not bad); no one would be able to forget the disaster that was "the Pit Fire of Atlanta"; "Sherman's confiscation of Chevy's on the Way to the Sea"; "Pickett's running out of gas on the last lap"; Darryl Waltripp's heroics at Antietam, nor "Richard Petty's surrender to A.J. Foyt at Appamattox Courthouse".

But most perplexing to me is the pending movie about Dale Earnhardt, even in the northern hinterlands I see more #3 Magnets than I see Christian trunk paraphernalia. All-in-all it appears that the man, I believe was called the Eliminator Intimidator, has been transformed into "Redneck Jeebus" via the sweet release that is ramming your car into the wall.


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