Sometime in the Not too Distant Future

"My fellow'muricans.

It is with a heavy heart that I have today accepted the resignation of FEMA Director Mike Brown. Brownie did a heck of a job under difficult circumstances and I wish him well in his new position as Night Manager of the Applebee's off of Interstate-10 in Hedwig Village, Texas. Brownie, I'm sure you'll do a heck of a job and I look forward to seeing you next month, when you are off shift, come on over to the ranch for your Medal of Freedom.

Nevertheless, someone must follow in Mr. Brown's footsteps and assume the responsibilities he has so ably discharged. For this reason I have nominated an individual who I believe to be most qualified to oversee this nation's governmental agency most responsible for overseeing emergency relief in this country. I have spoke to the Congressional Leadership and Senator Lieberman today and they have assurred me of prompt approval of this well-qualified individual. I therefore introduce to you the person who will be the next Director of FEMA, Simone Ledeen."