Friday, September 24, 2004

Other things that Rummy likes

After Rumsfeld's strange pronouncements that Iraq is no less dangerous than cities in the United States, it is high time to investigate other things that Rumsfeld believes are "not so bad." After painstaking research at the official headquarters of the Rising Hegemon (in an undisclosed location), we have constructed a list from files and notes in Rummy's own handwriting:
Things not so bad -- share with the press only after Iraq war goes to Hell
1. Deficits
2. Gigli
3. Choking on a pretzel -- come on we all do that after drinking... ok, leave out that part.
4. Long drawn out wars without end -- ok, need to rename this... perpetual war... no that is not gonna work, how about fighting for democracy ... good, good getting closer...
5. The Washington Times
6. Reverend Moon... maybe #5 and #6 are the same one...
7. Bad speechafying
8. Televangelists who want to kill gays
9. Humble pie... no wait... humble pie is always bad
9. Chuck Norris movies... yeah, yeah
10. John Ashcroft's singing... that man has a beautiful voice.
11. Being beheaded. Its the unfair media coverage that's bad.
We hope that bringing this list to light will help the American public think that maybe its Rumsfeld that is "pretty bad."

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