Jonah, Jonah, Jonah.
Doesn't like getting the White Feathers. Poor baby.
So I offer a compromise and a melding of events, a synchronicity if you will.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Send a White Dude to Jonah
This would enable Jonah to avoid having to go to Iraq to hang with the Marines, he could have a former Marine come and hang with him.
He could help him write his columns. Wash each others cars. Go to sporting events. They could watch the pro-rasslin' they could, um, rassle a bit themselves.