By Ann Coulter
Recently I had the unfortunate experience of being invited to go to the third-world backwater of Canada for the purposes of promoting my book, titled there "How to Talk to a Liberal, eh", and for judging the Saskatoon 'Chicks with Dicks' Parade. In preparing I did some research on the evil empire of socialized medicine that lies to our north.(1)
* Canada was originally settled by Satan worshipping sodomites who landed in Prince Edward Island seeking to sacrifice the souls of Viking settlers and eat their puppies.
* During the American Revolutionary War, the Canadians were traitors.
* During the American Civil War, the Canadians did not fight.
* President Wilson had to send the American Army into Canada in 1914 in search of evil filmmaker and revolutionary Pancho Mack Sennett.
* The Canadians fought in the First World War a long time before it became cool.
* Canada became a sovereign nation in 1977 when its independence was declared by Margaret Trudeau between lines of cocaine and dances with black men at Studio 54.
* From the time of Pierre Trudeau, all Canadian Prime Ministers have been cuckolded eunuchs.
* Hockey was invented in the Upper Pennisula of Michigan in the mid-1960s by the Iron River VFW. However, after a few Vietnam draft Dodgers fled through the Sault Ste. Marie wall, the socialist Canadians claimed it as their own.
* Canadian law makes it mandatory that mixed race couples fornicate.
* Brave defectors from Canadian socialist repression include Anne Murray, Wayne Gretzky and Lorne Green, the latter of whom set up a successful ranch in Wyoming next to Dick Cheney.
* Canadians, shortly after the second world war, established a repressive socialized medicine program that forced Pamela Anderson to come to the United States for breast implants.
* Canada gave troops to fight the Vietnam War, but won't admit it.
* Osama bin Laden's real name is Mario Lemieux.
* Canadian football fields are based on the communist influenced metric system.
(1) All of the documentation for these facts can be requested, I may be able to get around to answering them...but I'll have to get back to you.