Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Glenn Beck and every Teabagger

Will accept this as accurate:

A group of evangelicals found some 4,800-year-old wood on top of Mount Ararat. They are "99.9 pecent" sure that it's Noah's ark. This is totally real, which is why it's on the front page of Fox News' "SciTech" section.

Yet doubt that Obama is a citizen.

Oh, by all means Democrats stay home and let these people take over.

Left to right:bottom row, Your Tax Guy, Chinese Chip Douglas, Mao Cap Hair; top row: Justin Long, Fundy Money Honey, and either Sacco or Vanzetti.


I fought the lawn. And the lawn won. said...

Once you've swallowed the elephant of the Bible's literal truth, why strain at a gnat like this?

And oh yeah--- that reminds me: "original intent"--- here's a question I keep waiting to hear somebody ask:

Was it or was it not "original intent" for women and blacks to vote?

Help me out here, original intent fetishists.

StringonaStick said...

I'd say carbon date the wood, but the fundies don't "believe" in that because it shows an earth older than 6,000 years. It's a conundrum, but not an intellectual one apparently.

DrDick said...

This is what they mean about "faith based" policies. The facts be damned, it is all about what I believe! (There is a name for people like that in the DSM IV).

Athenawise said...

Oh, my goodness. So many thoughts.

1. "It's not 100 percent that it is Noah's Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it." We think you are 99.9 percent nuts.

2. Photo caption: Three men hold wood.

3. The guy with the moustache is either the brains behind the organization or the muscle, right?

Montag said...

Every ten or fifteen years, they have to trot out a story about Noah's ark, probably using the same piece of ossified timber, because the faithful have pretty short memories.

This is a lot more about branding than science. It's necessary to provide a very small, relatively rational jumping-off place (we found some wood) for great leaps of faith (and it must be from Noah's ark) to ever more fanciful flights of imagination (therefore, everything in the Bible is literally true).

It doesn't really matter to the faithful. This is supposed to impress the lay skeptics.

Does it compute that I could take a gangbanger from L.A., give him a couple hours of instruction in writing narratives, hand him a few magic mushrooms and a fistful of tubes of model airplane glue and a few yellow legal pads, whisper "tell me about God" in his ear, and end up with something just as fuckin' scary as Revelations?


snabby said...

So why are they eating the evidence with white gloves and chopsticks? Is that in tbe Bible, too?

And couldn't the balding guy have done for a more subtle disguise than a grease paint moustache?

guessed said...

i thought it was food at first too.

whatever happened to the guys who cooked up the jesus lockbox scam?

Athenawise said...

About the white gloves and chopsticks, I thought that, too, snabby.

pansypoo said...

is this papal red herrings?