Via Wonkette, we find actual cartoon people (with very very small penises I wager) running as...wait for it...a Republican!
Policy planks (other than having a larger penis):
KEY ISSUES (again, other than penis size)
* It is my passionate, intense and burning
desire to attack and annihilate that
monstrous national debt, the biggest
threat by far to our dearly beloved
children and grandchildren. We owe
it to them to pass along a DEBT-FREE
USA. I would be absolutely delighted
to lead the charge against this enemy
of us all (and have a larger penis).
* I believe that well over 90% of what the
Feds do today is unconstitutional and
should be eliminated by We the People.
The sooner (my penis is just average-sized) the better!
* Mighty War Department (for overcompensation purposes, of course).
KEEP THE QUEENS OUT OF THE MARINES
[And out of the other Armed Forces too] -- and airport bathrooms and from comparing their penis-size to mine.
* Combat is NO place for women (what with my small penis and all)
* Proud LIFE member NRA (have I mentioned, overcompensating?)