Sunday, April 18, 2010

Yes, we all know your "effective plan"

I guess you don't ever have to shut up if shit is never thrown back in your face. Making his twice-monthly appearance on a Sunday Talk Show to give his State of the Bizarro Union and complain about the Kids and their X-boxes and Blu-Rays, and that dreadful hacky-sack and MTV, President John McCain had this to yell:

McCain says US lacks effective policy on Iran

Because what's more effective than bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb...


Montag said...

McCain sure wants to whip up the psychotics in Arizona (and the folks at Hughes that get overtime building cruise missiles), doesn't he?

If and when Iran ever becomes a genuine existential threat to the United States, McCain will be long dead and buried, and he'll still wet his pants.

jimmiraybob said...

All I can say is, clouds, especially fast moving clouds, are dangerous, leftist, and certainly in league with Islamic fascism (see also Hitler, Mussolini, Pol Pot, and Satan and their use of clouds).

-- President George Bush was bundled into an underground bunker, Dick Cheney was evacuated to an "undisclosed location" and heavily armed secret servicemen took up defensive positions when a fast-moving cloud scudded towards the White House, it was reported yesterday.

See, any sane person knows that the next fast moving cloud could be sent directly from Iran to knock out our major cities. It is better to strike now while the vapor is forming rather than risk the possibility of the sun disappearing over Republican Good America™.

That's why Grandpa McCain should be accorded more respect and why we should listen to him. We must remember his spirited advocacy of standing up to the evil Russian Empire (nee Soviet Union) in defense of Georgia. No, not our Georgia, although he'd probably advocate their defense against the great Russian menace too.

It's the Kenyan impostor and secret Iranian Imam that spoiled our counter invasion of Russia, thus dooming our freedoms (circa 1940s & 1950s freedoms, you know, the good ones).

Grandpa McCain tried to warn us then like he's trying to warn us now.

It's all about constantly mobilizing our vast military might to go somewhere to kick someone's ass and let God sort em out. Let's not let cooler and more informed heads prevail again!

Ralph Dratman said...

Any policy is more effective than bomb, bomb, bomb. Bombing never accomplishes anything in and of itself.

pansypoo said...

the rite has only one answer. war.

Raoul Paste said...

Yep, McCain's judgement is so good that he picked Sarah Palin as VP.

He certainly deserves lots of time on the public airwaves to advise us.

(Its like I'm in a bad movie).

Anonymous said...

My plan for Iran involves secretly selling them weapons, in deliberate defiance of a Congressional ban on such sales.

What makes it really cool is if the Dems had done it, we'd be calling them all kinds of names, like "traitor", "Islamofascist" and a whole lot more!

But that's what makes being a conservative so wonderful, isn't it?

And the beauty of my plan is, if I get caught, I'll just act like I can't remember a thing!

-President Ronald W. Reagan

PS And oh yeah--- there's this guy named Osama something or other--- we're going to sell him a whole bunch of arms, too!

tsisageya said...

Nice one, Attaturk. the corner of my mind...misty long forgotten memories...of the way we were...

McCain is just a joke now. Disgusting.

George Bullen said...

Hey now come on, McCain's not all bad, he did give us about bizarro. Can you imagine that White House? Teabaggers should change their signs to "If you're not worried, you realize what America would look like if Palin were VP."

I have to feel just a little bit bad for McCain. The guy is a true hero, from POW to vet to public servant, he has paid his dues. He's just never been a party guy. Not like SNL Martin and Akroyd, I mean he's never been a true establishment politician. The guy would have been totally happy running as an independent all these years had it been possible. But instead, he dug in with the Republicans and is now tarnishing his name with bad partisan decisions in the last remaining years of his career. Kinda sad.

I like the blog. Check out my blog Young Politics for more stuff like this.

Montag said...

Check out my blog Young Politics for more stuff like this.

Oh, my goodness. Time for some education, young politics person.

a) McCain is a hero in his own mind. He has some of the most sordid history of any modern politician. There's some strong circumstantial evidence that by fucking around on an engine start he caused a fire on the USS Forrestal that killed, IIRC, 134 people. He was quickly transferred to another ship by his father, a fleet admiral.

b) While he was a POW, his wife was badly injured in a car wreck, and when he returned, he showed his solicitude by chasing every skirt in town, until he found one with lots of money, whereupon he divorced his wife and married Cindy, and then went to work on her extremely rich father to pay for a political campaign. He'd gotten the idea of running for Congress while he worked in the Navy's Congressional Liaison office, which is where the Navy put him to keep him the fuck away from their airplanes.

c) Then, the moment he became a Congress critter, he started taking trips and vacations from a rather shady fellow, by the name of Charles Keating, and in return, as a newly elected Senator, he attempted to interfere with a savings and loan fraud investigation of Keating, and attempted to intimidate the investigators.

d) Throughout the latter part of his career, he has reflexively defended Reagan and Ollie North on Iran-Contra, likely because he himself was on the board of a right-wing organization that funneled money to the contras, and had personal knowledge of the entire business.

e) He's a warmongering old putz. He never met a war he didn't like (except for the one started by a Democrat, Clinton).

If that doesn't induce you to begin your education on John McCain, there's this compendium compiled by an AZ weekly that should provide a little grist for the mill....

pansypoo said...

mccant is just making obama look good now.

Major Woody said...

How right you are about Saint John, Montag. Don't forget his intellectual acumen too; he graduated near the bottom of his Academy class, and has done nothing to suggest that wasn't where he belonged.

pansypoo said...

but the gnews can't leave him.

Montag said...

Maj. Woody, I had (momentarily) forgotten that. He was, in fact, so close to the bottom that his toes were very nearly touching the bottom of that year's barrel, 894th out of 899, IIRC.

Which might explain why he ended up being a negative ace. He singlehandedly kept the military-industrial complex going replacing the planes he lost....