Ask Dr. Attaturk, April 2, 2005

Well the Doctor has been summoned back to ask questions, like Dr. Bombay when Tabitha Stevens had the sniffles and was conjuring up purple unicorns with every sneeze. You have questions, and in between attending "Spam-a-Lot" the Dr. has answers:

Question No. 1:

Dear Dr. Turk,
Some people have been suggesting (me) that Dale Gribble on the TV show "King of the Hill" is actually Tom Delay. They are both paranoid, misfits who exterminate bugs. Has anyone ever seen them together?

- The Fish Lady

Please now, this is not at all fair. One is a two-dimensional character throwing out tired and predictable phrases of gloom and doom; a virtual cartoon character; exterminating bugs with wacky ideas, and hates anyone that doesn't have the same appearance that he does. The other lives next to Hank Hill.

I'm sure no one saw that answer coming!

Question No. 2:

Dear Earth-bound, Reality-based friend,

Hell's great. You never have to wash your overalls, and the grease stays in your hair so's you never have to comb ever again, and Lulu's always got some hot, fresh pies coolin' on the porch windowsill, although they never get completely cool if you know what I mean. And I don't miss Roy Clark neither, but that's another story.

To my question: have you seen my brother, Tom? Last sighted in Texas. Looks a lot like me, but thinner, and a little more wound up than me (looks kinda harsh around the eyes), but then last I heard he was in politics, so there you are. I miss him and wonder when he might be getting down here?

In hot black leather shoes and no socks,

Junior Samples

Junior,

I don't know if you've been reading the headlines, but if you've been paying attention to your buddy Tom's agenda, I'm pretty sure you and your fellow minions will be coming to Tom and the rest of us rather than him going there.


Question No. 3:

Am I dead yet?

Thanks in Advance,

JPII

No you are just resting. Hang on, that Cardinal over there will soon be nailing you to your perch.


Question No. 4:

Hey, appealing is fun. Can I do it some more?

Mr. Schindler

You're misspelling "appalling".