Sandy, (can I call you Sandy?)
We're the same age. I have no tattoos (I'm aware of); I'm completely untalented with all mechanical devices; I can barely ride a bike, let alone a motorcycle; I've never met, let alone dated or married, a porn star (not even Ron Jeremy); I've never slept with a neo-Nazi (that I know of) - certainly not lately. Further, I have never been photographed in Nazi garb (in a Mao-Hat yes, a youthful indiscretion).
I wouldn't ask for much, just a modest stipend to fund my addiction to Cadbury Eggs say $5,000 a month.
What do ya' say?
It's gotta be better than how E-Harmony did for you.