Thursday, April 28, 2005

benedictxvi@vatican.va

Mein Popenmeister,

The other day, I had an old friend over to my place (it's really lovely, bucolic actually you should come visit). This is a distinguished gentlemen, who is getting up there in years and has been a family friend for some time.

On occasion, he and I had met at various social functions, including some at exotic hotels.

When those events happened, I found myself stragely drawn in his direction and when I did, I almost always met his simultaneous gaze. Clearly, both he, and certainly I, felt an electricty in the air. But other than these furtive glances, and an occasional touch, not much came of the matter. However, I could feel that he had an interest.

On those occasions when we have been apart, I allowed the matter to be dismissed from my thoughts, something I have always been particularly adept at doing. I think one of the reasons may have been that we are from vastly different cultures, a culture that frankly, I am rather disdainful of otherwise.

Nonetheless, a few days ago, this gentlemen came to my home. I must tell you, Your Holiness, there was a stirring in my loins I handn't felt since the first time I got in the hot tub with my deputy President.

I was a little embarrassed and afraid, and the loose fitting nature of his attire made it hard to know just how he felt, but he caressed my hand and said he had been waiting for a private moment with me for some time. Then he led me into my flower garden and away from prying eyes and, well, being a man of the world, I'm sure I don't have to draw you a picture, though I found my crayolas so I will.



The problem is, your holiness, I'm sort of trapped in a marriage; and I know that you guys often speak against being "the gay"; and also, I've heard it said that you guys also consider them muslims sort of, well infidels.

But can a love that feels so right, really be so wrong?

My friend Karl says it is; and I'm afraid to tell my AA sponsor "Dr. Dobby"; can you provide me some words of comfort?

Thanks,

An Experienced Fighter Pilot (Really, I am)