Friday, August 27, 2010

"Thank you for everything"

So where have I been?

Well, there's no amount of eloquence I can sum up to fully describe her, so it will have to be this...


"Your mother wanted me to call you and tell you to be careful of bedbugs", my dad told me. She could no longer speak at length and it was the last piece of advice, in a lifetime of advice -- some trivial, some profound -- she ever gave me -- albeit by proxy.

Though it wasn't the last thing she actually said to me. That was "I love you."

And when I finally arrived, five minutes before she died -- or let herself die -- I thanked her for everything and said the last thing she ever heard from me, "I love you."




And do be careful of bedbugs.

81 comments:

spork_incident said...

Take care, Befezzed One.


.

Feral said...

Many condolances, Attaturk.

spinkbottle said...

I am so sorry, Attaturk.

jimmiraybob said...

And here're as many condolances as can be squezed through the intertubes. My mother had a rough last year but it brought family together to help out. We all had a chance for last good words.

Thanks for all you've done in sharing with us the snarlolicious ups and downs for so many years.

snabby said...

So sorry, Attaturk.

mbarnato said...

May flights of angels sing her to her rest... I'm very sorry for your loss. It's a hard one...

Mama de Chili said...

My condolences

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

Kathy in Omaha

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry. Those last words mean so much. I'm glad you got to say them.

-mnkid

DrDick said...

So sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and the whole family. I know how hard it is to lose your mother and how special it is that you could be there with her at the end (I had a similar experience). Take care of yourself.

res ipsa loquitur said...

You're always too young to lose your mother.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

JDM said...

Sorry for your loss.

Athenawise said...

Dear Atta, you've sustained so many with your peerless snark and humor. We're all thinking of you and your family now. Thank you for sharing a beautiful moment you will remember always. My condolences to you on the passing of your mom.

Jacquie said...

Condolences on your loss, and I hope you're holding up OK. It must be a comfort that you could be there.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for you loss. Stay away from used mattresses.

Major Woody said...

Our thoughts are with you.

egregious said...

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Gentle hug for you.

Jim White said...

So sorry. Cherish the memories always.

Gonna go check for bedbugs now...

stinger said...

So very sorry for your loss.

greatestwirefan said...

With heartfelt sympathy, we are so very sorry.

Tengrain said...

Been there, buddy, and so I know somewhat of what you are going through. My deepest sympathy and best wishes for you and your family.

Regards,

Tengrain

MarkC said...

Sincere condolences.

That was a very touching post.

zencomix said...

May she rest in peace.

gypsy howell said...

Big hugs for you fez man.

Dee Loralei said...

A lovely and moving post, AttaJ, sir. My condolences.

And do make sure the bedbugs don't become fezbugs.

psychobroad said...

So glad you made it in time to say goodbye. Condolences to you and yours.

Lori Wallce said...

Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your Mom. The world as you knew it will be a changed one so keep your warmest memories of time shared with her handy. They will serve you well.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

From all your writing and this specific post you paint a sweet powerful picture of your mother. She must have been one incredibly loving funny lady.

My heartfelt condolences to you & your family.

- MikeBoyScout

Anonymous said...

What Res said. And big hugs, also.
lq

Suzanne said...

oh crap. i'm so very sorry.

Anonymous said...

damn. i was hoping is was sandy. i am glad she waited for you.
and you should beware the bedbugs.
pansypoo

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for your loss. You have my heartfelt sympathy. I know what you're going through, having had the same experience with the loss of my mother five months ago.

Raoul Paste said...

This blog is a gift to grateful strangers and friends; your mother must have been proud of you.

Mr. Hedley Bowes said...

Profound condolences. I'm grateful to know you got to say 'goodbye': the angels are with you and your mom.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Fran / Blue Gal said...

Love and comfort to you and your family, Attaturk.

Distributorcap said...

all my condolences - peace and comfort to you and your family

moeman said...

Deepest sympathies.

driftglass said...

My sincerest condolences, my friend. I wish you peace, and the comfort of loving friends and family.

StonyPillow said...

She will live on in her family, and everyone she touched. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

nash said...

A very sweet little post, Turk. My condolences -- and I'm glad the two of you got to share the most important thing one last time. May the grieving process go as gently as it can for all concerned.

--nashtbrutusandshort
Categorical Aperitif

watertiger said...

My heart breaks for you and your family, atta.

As everyone else has said, and as you have said so eloquently, that you got to tell each other "I love you" is the most important thing.


And don't take furniture in off the street.

Hubris Sonic said...

Sad news Turk....

Unknown said...

My condolences Turk.

Ian

Unknown said...

Best wishes. Our thoughts are with you.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

I've lost both a father and step mother in the last 6 months. Been there, done that so they say.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

My condolences Atta. Very glad you were able to share those last important words. Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

Oops, anon wasis me, Diane Sweet from Raw Story.

Fran said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, what a moving post. I send my good thoughts to you and your family who will miss her so much.

angulargyrus said...

Condolences to you and your family, Attaturk. And thanks for your blog. It's eloquent snarkiness makes my day.

Litzz11@yahoo.com said...

{{{ {HUGS }}}}

So sorry for your loss .... words can't describe ....

Batocchio said...

Condolences. Sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear that, Attaturk. My condolences, and thanks for all you do.

Sandia Blanca

Anonymous said...

It hurts to say goodbye.....
one of life's most important -painful- lessons for us to master.

My sympathy to you and your family.

"Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean." (David Searles)

Loretta Ross said...

My deepest sympathies, Attaturk. Remember that your mother is not truly gone. She wrought herself into your soul and is forever a part of you.

DanF said...

Condolences Attaturk. It's good that you were there for her. Your words and presence were what she waited for.

Nico Pitney said...

That was a beautiful, touching post. So very sorry for your loss.

WVBlue said...

My sincere condolences. I am nearing that point with my own mother I am afraid.

SteveAudio said...

I'm so glad you got to say the right thing to her at the end. Hopefully that can bring you some peace in addition to the pain.

Best to you and your family as you move forward.

Anonymous said...

so very sorry, attaturk.

zuzu said...

I'm so sorry.

I was with my mom at the end and it helped so much to know she wasn't alone. Neither was I. Glad you could tell her how much you loved her before she passed.

Anonymous said...

My mother left last month. Hard to say much more than Courage.
vox

Olives and Arrows said...

My condolences to you and your family, Attaturk.

BAC said...

I lost my mother in 1975. And as I am sure will be the same for you, I think of her often. My condolences to you and your family.

BAC

Athenae said...

I'm so sorry, Atta. Take good care of yourself.

A.

mileslarboy said...

My sympathy. It's so wonderful that you got to see and talk with her one last time.

grs said...

Sorry for your loss. I hope you find solace.

drunken hausfrau said...

My very deepest condolences... go spend time with your loved ones... the idiocy will still be here when you get back.

Policomi said...

Very sorry to hear of your loss.

Anonymous said...

deepest sympathy
dcblogger

muddy said...

I'm so sorry. It's very hard. I will be thinking of you, take care.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your loss, Attaturk. We lost our father last week, too. We were there to tell him we loved him, but he didn't have any of that kind of good (bedbug) advice. That sort of worry was my mother's job, and she died in 1999.

Sharl said...

Aw jeez, I'm so sorry Fezdude. And yeah, what RIL said upthread. Went through this myself this past January.

dmark said...

Attaturk, sorry to hear of your loss. My mother died suddenly while I was away. It's good that you were able to say good bye.

Reamus said...

Beeen there and done that. There is no easy way. Remeber all the advice...you will cherish it someday.

Peace,

RDs,

Reamus

Interrobang said...

My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mother. Treasure those pieces of advice, the funny little sayings and expressions, and anything else that you can hold on to. Take good care of yourself and your people, and I hope at least two people bring you casseroles.

Anonymous said...

So sorry-be gentle with yourself.

Freida Bee said...

I'm so glad you were there for each other in that moment, this brief moment that is our life together.

Morse said...

Sorry for your loss, Attaturk.

Deborah said...

I don't have any words of wisdom. I lost my mother this year, too. Deepest condolences.