Day six or so of my having to grow a goatee in order to cover an ugly (and hopefully temporary) scar.
There's a good reason I've never grown a goatee.
1. I hate them.
2. I look terrible with one, well more terrible.
3. It is coming in grey.
4. I can't stop touching it (it's like Christine O'Donnell's nightmare come to life, if I had a chin penis). Now I understand why reformed smokers so often have them -- and I'm looking at you ladies.
But, the good news is I think it is coming off this weekend. And I'm going to have fun with it. As I shave it, I will look at myself in the following incarnation:
I'll begin with, the drunken, bank robbing, Rip Torn.
Second, obese, pale and balding Jimmy Smits.
Third, the Lenin vandyke.
Fourth, the Terry Jones fu-man chu.
Fifth, the John Oates/Gay Pornstar.
Sixth, the John Waters.
Seventh, of course, the Hitler, or is it now called "the Michael Jordan WTF are you thinking?"
The fact that this whole thing will still look like shit in four days means I'll probably just have to settle for Rip Torn and that will be it.